Safe and Sound
by Criminalmindschick221
Summary: The anniversary of JJ's sister's death comes and JJ finds out that her death might not have been a suicide. As the BAU investigates the case JJ is kidnapped only to find out she is in the hands of the man that killed her sister.
1. The Anniversary

Rain drizzled down in a small suburban neighborhood, creating a misty haze in the night. Outside every pleasantly normal house the lawns were perfectly mowed and the bushes were trimmed. It was the true definition of a suburban neighborhood. The streetlights were spread unevenly down the street, leaving dark, sinister stretches of road behind. A car drove slyly down the road going unusually slow. In front of a light brown house it stopped and the headlights turned off mysteriously. A man got out of the car and walked around it to the sidewalk, waving over his shoulder at the other man who then turned the headlights back on and drove away. The man was wearing a dark blue hood and black pants. He put his hoods up and made sure to stay in the shadows as he walked through some of the yards. He has a determined, ambitious look on his face as he trudged through the bushes. He could see his destination from where he saw. A branch of a nearby tree blocked his view so he pulled it down out of his way. He could see one light on in the upstairs bedroom, he knew once that light went off it would be time. He pulled off his backpack and went through all his stuff to make sure everything was there. By the time he looked up again the light was off. The man waited another 20 minutes before walking towards the house. It was a large white house on the corner of the street. He walked through the back yard and up to the back door, making sure not to make any noise. He took out a crowbar and with great ease, pried the door open. It made noise, but not enough to wake the family inside up. The door led straight into the large kitchen area of the house which was attached to the dining room and the living room. He shut the door behind him and put the crowbar down on the table. Upstairs slept a happy husband and wife, the husband had his arms around the wife and in the next room a small boy was asleep under Star Wars sheets. The man put his backpack on the table and pulled out a container about the size of a gallon of milk, maybe more. He unscrewed the top and poured the liquid on the kitchen counters, all around the living room and on all the furniture. He walked up the stairs sprinkling the liquid on the stairs and down the hallways upstairs. This was when his intentions became terribly clear; the liquid he was pouring all over the house was gasoline. He returned to his bag and took out a match, getting ready to set the whole house on fire and end the lives of the pleasantly normal family that lived in it.

It was a stormy November night outside the offices of the FBI in Quantico, Virginia. Outside the wind beat the pouring rain against the windows, thunder cracked through the clouds and lightning flashed across the sky. Inside almost all of the lights were off except for in two offices; the office of Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner and Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer "JJ" Jureau. They were both busy flipping through numerous papers and it still looked like they both had a lot left to do. Hotch's papers were case reports which he had to fill out after every case they finished and JJ was flipping through unsolved cases from all around the country with gruesome pictures, trying to figure out which case they should take next. Nothing had stuck out to her yet as urgent, they all looked like accidents and most that were murders had enough evidence to find the murderer without the FBI's help. She looked up as the lights in Hotch's offices went off and he walked out, shutting his door behind him.

"Go home soon, JJ." Hotch said, looking into her office as he walked by. He had a stack of papers in his arms that he would probably go home and finish.

JJ just nodded, she would go home right after she finished finding a case. So many people we're asking for their help, but none of them really actually needed them. The next case she opened was a suicide case in a small town in Missouri. She touched the necklace around her neck for a moment, thinking about her sister. She shut the folder a few minutes later, knowing that the BAU never really focused on suicide cases. Since it was getting late, she decided to take the rest home like Hotch so she could put her son to bed for once. She walked out of her office and shut the door behind her before walking over to the railing of the catwalk and standing against it for a couple seconds, looking over all the desks. She twisted her necklace gently between her fingers and then looked at the ground.

"JJ, what are you still doing here?" Penelope walked up to stand against the railing next to JJ. She was wearing a bright pink dress with bright green hand bag hanging over her shoulder. Her headband was bright pink too. Next to JJ's light blue shirt and black pants, she really popped out.

"Well I was just about to leave." JJ put a fake smile on her face because she didn't really want to talk about what was really bothering her. She hoped that Penelope wouldn't ask.

"Okay, what's up?" Penelope asked, suspiciously. "What's wrong?" she asked, looking at JJ.

JJ tilted her head. How did Penelope read her that well?

"I work with a team of profilers." Penelope said as if she had read her mind, "I pick up some tricks sometimes, but really JJ. Spill." She put her hands on her hips.

JJ shrugged, really not wanting to talk about it at all. "I just feel…" she paused, "I don't know. Nevermind." She shook her head. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"But I could help, you know. I'm really good at giving advice." Penelope said, hopeful that JJ would come out with it.

"I _don't _ want to talk about it." JJ said a little bit more firmly this time. Her team was her family, but even in your family there are some things that you just want to keep to yourself. When she saw Penelope's hurt expression she shook her head. "I'm really sorry. It's just something I want to handle by myself."

Penelope looked over the desks, "I know what you mean." She nodded, "I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled at JJ and then walked back towards her office.

"Night." JJ stood there for a couple more minutes before she walked along the catwalk and down the stairs to the front door. The first thing she noticed when she opened the door was rain pounding on the pavement. In the sky, thunder boomed and JJ flinched. She spotted her car in the parking lot and then started running through the rain, trying to keep the bag full of case files dry. When she got to her car, she unlocked the door quickly before climbing inside. She yanked the door shut and then rested her hands on the steering wheel. Today had been a hard day for her; it was a 15 year anniversary of her sisters' death. She just couldn't stop thinking about that day when she woke up only to find that her sister was…gone and her brother had wrapped his arms around her, as if shielding her from the pains of death. She wished right now that Travis could be here to shield her again, but after he graduated he had went to med school and moved down to Florida. JJ sighed, looking up at the water pounding down on the windshield. The weather really summed up how she felt; completely and entirely miserable. She knew that her sister was watching down on her, she could feel it, but not having her there…even after 15 years…felt empty. Now that she was out of the BAU she could stop holding it in. Tears streamed down her face and she put her head in her hands. Being strong was so hard sometimes, sometimes you just have to get everything out.. She didn't cry for long because she knew she needed to get home soon or Will would be worried. JJ stuck her key into the slot and started the car, sniffing slighty. The headlights came on and she had to turn on the windshield wipers too because of the rain. As she pulled out of the parking lot, she turned the radio up hoping that it would cheer her up. Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway came on and JJ smiled a little bit, this had been one of her sister's favorite songs when she had been alive. It reminded JJ of the good things about her, her quirky personality, her great imagination, and the way she could have made anyone smile.. JJ sighed and kept driving, feeling a little bit better now that she was thinking about the good memories instead of the bad. She pulled into her driveway and saw the lights still on in the living room. JJ sniffed, picked up her purse and got out of the car quickly, running under the covered porch to get out of the rain. She opened the door, only to see her husband sitting on the couch.

"You're late," Will paused, looking over at his wife, "again." He sighed, "I already put Henry to bed."

"I'm sorry I had to look through some cases." JJ shut the door behind her, took her coat off and set the cases she'd brought home on the kitchen table.

"You still have more? JJ, when does it stop?"

"We've already had this conversation Will. I'm doing what I love because it's who I am."

"I know, but you haven't put Henry to bed, let alone seen him in a week! It's about damn time that you get home." Will said, standing up.

"Will, my team is my family too and you know that. I can't just give them up. Henry knows that I love him." JJ protested, putting her hands on her hips.

Will shook his head. "JJ, you don't understand the problem. A boy needs his mom, sure I can teach him how to be a man, but what about when he's scared or hurt or even sick. Those are the times when you need your mom and you aren't there!" he said, raising his voice. "You and I barely ever see each other anymore or got out for date nights like we used to. If you're never home, how do you expect this marriage to work, JJ?! Did we make a mistake?" he asked the last question in a lower voice.

"You really believe that? We love each other Will! We're a family and I try to get home, I really do, but what if something happened to you or Henry? I would want someone to be out there doing something, wouldn't you?"

"You said that last time JJ!" Will shook his head, "If you are gonna choose your job over your family then something needs to change. Henry needs someone to rely on and someone to be there for him and that's not you, it never was."

That last thing hurt JJ the most and the new emotions mixing with the old ones made her feel completely terrible."I'm leaving." JJ said, her voice cracking slightly. Will looked at her, shocked. He wasn't expecting her to actually leave, he was just impulsively yelling. "Forever?" he asked, biting his lip now feeling terrible about what he had said.

"No, no. I just want to get out of here." JJ said, picking up her coat and her purse.

"I'm sorry JJ. I didn't mean any of it, I promise." Will said, stepping towards her.

"Will…don't make promises that you know aren't true. It's okay, you're right. I just want to get out of the house for a while." JJ replied, stepping away from him. "Don't wait up." She said as she walked out of the door and out to her car, now not caring if she got wet. She got into her car and knew exactly who she wanted to talk to, who would make her feel better. The radio was playing a sad song that she recognized from her childhood, but couldn't place. It made the mood she was in even worse, but hopefully she could get advice. She drove across town and parked in the driveway of a small dark brown house that looked very nice and welcoming. JJ jogged over to the door, but there was no covering so the rain just poured down on her as she rang the doorbell. Now she wished that she had worn the coat with the hood on it because she was getting completely soaked. The porch light turned on and the door opened to reveal Hotch, who looked surprised to see him.

"JJ? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked, concerned. He could tell by her expression that it wasn't something about work.

"I just…can I come inside?" JJ asked him, already soaked from the rain.

"Sure, of course." Hotch nodded and moved out of the way so she could walk inside.

JJ stepped into Hotch's house, shivering slighty from the chilling rain that had now seeped into her clothing.

"So what's this about, JJ?" Hotch asked, helping her take off her heavy, damp coat. He frowned, not sure what this was going to be about; JJ never really made trips to people's houses this late without a good reason, but Hotch had a feeling that it wasn't work related.

"You remember on the plane when I told you about my sister?" JJ started and Hotch sat down at the table, gesturing for her to sit too.

"Yes."Hotch nodded, his suspicions were confirmed. This wasn't work related, it was about her sister.

"Well…it's the 15th anniversary of her death." JJ shook her head, "And Will doesn't think I'm home enough so he's starting to have second thoughts about us getting married in the first place."

Hotch listened to her and then rubbed his chin. "Haley and I used to fight about all those stupid things too, but let me tell you, when all is said and done you guys still love each other and you always will…I loved Haley until she died and I still do." He smiled, slightly. "You just need to talk to him, set boundaries."

JJ nodded, thinking about that day when Hotch had lost Haley. The phone call they had all listened to, when Haley and Hotch has confessed their love for each other and he promised to take care of Jack even when she was gone. All that was heard after that was a gunshot and the sound of the unit chief sobbing for his dead love. "Hotch…I'm sorry." She looked down at the surface of the table, she was complaining about minor things while Hotch had been through much worse.

Hotch nodded, "You and I are a lot alike JJ." The corners of the his mouth twitched, "We've both loved and lost, but at the end of the day we're better off." He smiled, "I promise if you talk to Will about how you feel, he'll understand. He loves you, JJ."

JJ nodded, "Thanks Hotch. I'll go do that now. Thanks for everything." She stood up and grabbed her coat before walking towards the door and out of Hotch's house. She drove through the traffic less road, thinking about what she'd say to Will. Just the thought of approaching him made her nervous, but hopefully everything would go okay. She parked the car in their driveway, the rain had reduced to just a drzzle so she casually walked up to the door and walked inside.

Will had been sitting on the couch, but when she walked inside he immediately stood up. He felt bad for yelling at her, he knew it was wrong. "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm just…" he shook his head. "Sorry."

"It's okay…I've just got a lot on my mind." JJ sniffed and looked up at him. Her eyes were red and puffy and tears were running down her cheeks. "We need to talk Will."

"I know, but I want you to know that everything I said wasn't me. I was just tired and agitated, so I'm sorry for all of it." Will told her.

JJ nodded, "So am I, but you were right. I need to be home more so I was thinking that maybe we could go on a family trip…maybe to California. Somewhere sunny, you know?"

"That sounds great and it'll be a great time for you and Henry to catch up." Will nodded and leaned against the wall. "So what's on your mind?" he asked, remembering what she'd said moments earlier.

JJ's gaze dropped to the ground. "It's Sarah…"

"Oh yea…" Will nodded. She'd told him what today was already, but he'd forgotten. Now yelling at her made him feel even worse. He reached over and wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Come on." He took her hand and led her over to the couch. He sat down first and then she sat down leaning up against him. "I'm here for you, Jennifer."

"I know." JJ rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, feeling safer now that she was in his arms."They're having a memorial." She said, opening her eyes to look up at him.

"What?" Will asked.

"For Sarah, they're having a memorial."

"Why didn't we go? I mean, we could have gone."

"I had to work, they want me to find a new case by this week.." JJ sighed. The BAU really was taking over her whole life and JJ just wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. "I really wanted to go though. That's what's really bothering me."

"Hey." Will started, "Don't worry about it JJ, Sarah loved you and even though you didn't go to the memorial she still loves you and you need to remember that."

JJ sighed; knowing that after today it would be hard to get back into her old groove again. "Thanks Will."

Will just nodded, holding her close in his arms. They both fell asleep on the couch that night, wrapped in each other's arms.


	2. Heidi Parks

For the next two weeks JJ wasn't herself. They took a case in Florida and JJ had never been more off her game. She found herself not paying attention and whenever they saw pictures of dead bodies, or even the real bodies she couldn't take it and she had to leave. She was quiet and submissive, not really wanting to talk to anyone. It really wasn't like her and the team was starting to notice.

"What's up with her?" Morgan asked when JJ left the room to go get some coffee. "She's acting really strange."

"You don't think she's pregnant again do you?" Emily asked, smirking. She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, she would have told us this time." Reid said, sighing. "It has to be something else because it's not mood swings, it's more like she seems out of it, you know?" he shrugged. "Maybe she's just tired."

"Well she better wake up because we need her. I hate to admit it, but it's hard to solve a case without her." Emily said, sighing.

Luckily, the week after that, things were finally starting to get back to normal. JJ started to warm back up to everyone and get back into her work again. She still thought about her sister sometimes, but it wasn't as bad as before. They took a case in Kansas and everything went great; they solved that case in three days. When they got back to the offices JJ knew she had to find another case for the team before tomorrow so she stayed behind after everyone left again, even Hotch. She read the clock on the wall and saw that it was 10:00 so she decided to leave and maybe get home early tonight. Just as she shut her door, she heard the front doors of the BAU open. JJ was immediately suspicious, she was trained to be, who would be here this late at night? It was a woman; she looked troubled and very out of mind. When she didn't see anyone around, she sat down in one of the chairs and let out a frustrated sigh.

JJ walked across the catwalk and down the stairs to where she was, normally she would have told the woman to leave because they were closed, but she just couldn't with her because she looked so upset. "Ma'am, are you alright?" JJ set down the case files on a nearby desk and walked over to her.

The woman jumped a little bit, turning around. "Oh thank god! My name is Heidi Summers; I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I really didn't mean to come this late, but I saw a few lights on and the door was open so I just figured maybe someone was here." The woman told JJ urgently, standing up.

JJ nodded, deciding that Will would have to put Henry to bed again without her. This woman needed her help right this second."How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Agent Hotchner."

"I'm sorry he just left. Maybe if you come back tomorrow he can-"

"I need to speak with one of his team members right away!" The woman cut in, "I need to speak with Agent Jennifer Jureau."

JJ paused, partly surprised. "I'm Agent Jureau."

The woman let out a sigh of relief. "Jennifer? Oh my gosh, you look so different, so much older. I didn't even recognize you. It's me, Heidi …I just got married, but my maiden name was Parks. I was friends with your sister in high school. Best friends actually."

JJ nodded, faintly remembering a Heidi Parks from her childhood. "Heidi? How are you?" she asked, half-heartedly. She never liked being reminded of her sister especially now.

"I'm doing well, I never thought that Sarah's younger sister would turn out to be an FBI agent, but look at you." Heidi smiled.

JJ smiled, proudly. She was half wishing that her sister could be here to say that too. "So what is this about? I know you didn't just come here to talk."

Heidi nodded. "I guess I should start at the beginning. So after your sister died, I was devastated. Every time I thought about her, I thought about all the good times, all the smiles. I thought that all of that must have been fake because she never seemed depressed about anything. You of all people would understand what I mean. The thing is…that I know it wasn't fake, there's no way to fake being that happy so that made me wonder why she did what she did. I started trying to remember things about her life, back in high school I was talking to some of her old boyfriends and friends about her. No one really thought she was capable of suicide. I wanted closure, but soon enough I forgot about it. I met my husband, got a steady job and started to move on with my life. Then, this year it was the 15 year anniversary of that day and your family had that memorial service."

JJ nodded, "I couldn't go…I had to work..." She obviously regretted not going; pain was painted all over her face.

Heidi looked at JJ and noticed her facial expressions. Sympathy flooded her own eyes and she put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, no one blamed you. It's your job."

"So you went?" JJ asked, really wanting to change the subject now.

"Yea and it was great, they had old pictures and we stood by her grave and held candles… Your parents seemed like they were better. Now when they think of her, they think of how happy her life was, not her death. Even your brother was just enjoying the happy memories about her instead of the sad ones. It was the first time I've seen him happy in a while. Anyway…let me get to the point. The week after I came home, a police officer came knocking on my door. They came in, wanting to know about Sarah. They kept asking me questions and stuff like that, about her life. I was so confused, until they told me why they were really there. They don't think your sister committed suicide, they think she was murdered."


	3. Her Lifeline

**Thanks so much for reading. I'll try and post them a little quicker, but I'm kind of busy right now. Don't worry thought there's still more to come ) Thanks for the reviews(:**

* * *

Hotch was the first one at work the next day, he thought he was early until he saw JJ already in her office and narrowed his eyes. Why was she here so early? He walked up to her doorway, only to see her on the phone. She looked up and mouthed 'Hold on'. Hotch nodded and walked into his office, wondering if she was having at home problems with Will. He would ask her later just to make sure she was okay because he hated seeing her upset.

JJ was on the phone with her mom, wanting to know what was going on. It had all happened too fast and everything Heidi had said just felt like words in her head that she didn't want to process. "The police officers questioned us about her and her life, attitude, school work, just like the police had when she had first died. They never really gave a straight answer on why they were asking us about her. We kept pushing until they finally started to tell us what was going on. They said that a lot of suicides had happened that year, too many. It was way over the standard average for Pennsylvania. They were at different times during the year and in different counties so no one noticed as easily, but when the memorial service came up they looked back into her case and noticed that there had been some other suspicious deaths in Pennsylvania that year, all suicides of kids who seemed perfectly normal. They told us that when they went over the autopsy files from Sarah's case they noticed that there was something abnormal that they had looked over when they had looked at it before, something that connected her to the other victims. She had been..." Her mother paused, not wanting to say the vulgar word. "She didn't commit suicide." She decided to say, her voice cracking slightly. It sounded like she was on the verge of tears.

"Hey..." JJ started, her voice comforting and gentle. It was the tone she always used when talking to victim's families, but she never thought she'd be using it on her mom. "I promise that everything's going to be, the police will sort this out and we _can_ get through this." She emphasized, not sure if she was convincing her mom or herself.

"Oh Jennifer...you've always been the tough one." Her mother replied, her voice starting to sound normal again. She had prevented the tears from falling, "Even when things were bad, you always held us all together."

JJ was silent on the other line, happy to hear those words come from her mother.

"The officers said that they would brief you and your team on the case after they finish questioning us and the people from the memorial first because they want the BAU to come and investigate."

"This is…too much." JJ said, shaking her head. Why did this have to happen? Her own team knew everything about her, except for that and she had wanted to keep it like that because to JJ, the only thing she was insecure about was her friends seeing her vulnerable. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like to investigate her sister's murder. She knew her friends would have to dig into her life, up root the old problems and profile her behavior. She also didn't like the fact that all her privacy about her family and her past would be shared with the rest of the team. Sometimes there were things in her life that she didn't want to remember and she really didn't want her team to dig into, like her sister's death.

"I know, but if it was murder, wouldn't you want to know? That would mean that she was happy and she wasn't hiding anything from us." Her mom pointed out, it sounded like her mom had thought a lot about Sarah's death in the past few weeks.

"Does Travis know?" JJ asked, knowing that her brother would be crushed by all this new found information coming his way. He had been devastated that morning when they all woke up she thought that he would never get through it and now...they were just bringing back all the pain they had felt before.

"He was there when they interviewed us and he took it pretty hard, but I think he's okay for now." Her mother paused for a couple second, "I'm sorry, but I have to go, but stay strong Jennifer."

JJ sighed and hung up, running her fingers through her hair. She really didn't want to talk right now, she wanted more than anything to be alone, but she knew she had to talk to Hotch and soon an FBI agent was going to give her a case file, her sister's case file. She decided that she was going to have to push through it. Making sure to keep her composure, JJ walked into Hotch's office. "You wanted to talk?" she asked, not sitting down in the chair across from him. She wanted to keep this short and to the point because she really wanted to get back to her office and think about how to explain this to everyone.

"Did you stay all night?" Hotch asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, no of course not. I left not long after you, but I had to come back early…" JJ lied. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep so she decided to stay and talk with Heidi instead. She hated lying to her cheif because he was a profiler and he could almost always tell if she was lying about something or not. It actually annoyed her how they could all study her and figure out everything she was feeling.

"For what?" Hotch asked, skeptically he wasn't sure that he fully believed her story because he saw the bags under her eyes.

"I had to pick our next case." JJ told him, still avoiding the subject.

Hotch nodded, "Oh. Ok, where are we going?"

"East Alleghany, Pennsylvania." JJ said, with no emotion in her voice. Her face was completely blank.

"That's where you grew up."

JJ nodded and shrugged, "They need us." She told him and then walked out. With a small sigh, she walked back in her office. In the chair across her desk, sat an FBI agent. He was an agent from a different branch, but she recognized his square jaw, dark brown hair and big brown eyes. He was handsome and a very successful special agent that was famous in the FBI world for his valor and bravery.

He stood up, when he saw her. "I'm-"

"I know who you are, Special Agent Harry Jameson. It's an honor to meet you, sir." JJ said, respectfully, even though she was dreading the conversation they were about to have.

He smiled, "I've heard a lot about you too, Agent Jureau." He paused for a second. "We need to have a talk…about your sister."

"I know…Heidi Summers filled me in and so did my mom. You need the BAU?" JJ asked, sitting down in her chair while he sat down in his. She folded her hands on her desk, silently.

"Yes, we have one or two special agents in charge of interviews, but we don't have any units assigned to the case yet so we thought that the BAU would be the best with this sort of thing. Here's the file." He set a file on her desk and paused, "Agent Jureau…uhhh Jennifer…I'm sorry for your loss." He reached across the desk and touched her hand.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." JJ gave him a sad smile and looked down at the case file.

"Well I should go, call me if you need the interview information…or if you need someone to talk to. I'm good at that too." Harry said, giving her a charming smile. He set down his card on her desk before walking out.

* * *

Morgan walked into work, sipping his coffee and glancing at the clock. He was just on time, on the verge of being late. He let out a yawn and sat down at his desk. "Good morning, Emily." He smiled, brightly.

Emily smirked, "Why so happy? Somebody got lucky last night." She teased, raising her eyebrows and leaning back in her chair.

"No I'm just happy to be a work today." Morgan said, "Is that a crime?" He leaned against Emily's desk, grinning and setting his coffee down to give her a playful glare and mischevious smile.

"No, it's just a lie." Emily retorted, rolling her eyes at him.

"Where's Reid?" Morgan smiled, deciding to ignore her comment and change the subject. He noticed that Reid was nowhere to be found at the moment.

"Probably copying definitions from the dictionary." Emily said, sarcastically. She looked up to see that Reid had walked up to his desk as she had said that.

"Actually," Reid cut in, "I was outlining an Encyclopedia. Outlining is actually proved to be one of the better ways to retain information because you have a categoize it rather than just try to memorize it like I was trying to do previously."

"Even better." Emily teased, lightly.

Morgan laughed and looked up as Agent Harry Jameson walked out of JJ's office. "Woah, what's _he _doing in JJ's office?" He was ranked much higher than most of them were and it was surprising to even see him in the BAU at all.

"She's not transferring again, is she?" Emily asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She always went to the worst case scenario, but that was how she protected herself from sadness and hurt. She didn't want her friend to leave again; it wouldn't be the same without her.

Reid shook his head. "No, look at her body language. She's looking down at her desk, but she her head is down and her eyes are dull, she also keeps grabbing her necklace around her neck. She only does that when she's upset. If she's looking at our case, then I'm guessing it's not going to be good." Reid paused, staring into JJ's office, "She looks like she's almost about to cry."

Emily frowned, "It has to be bad, to crack JJ like that."

JJ clutched her necklace in her hand, like it was her only life line. She wanted to cry, but she knew her co-workers were watching. She bit back the tears and clenched her fist. She wouldn't let the sadness win, she would fight it and be collected and composed. She stood up and walked into Hotch's office, handing him the case file. "Hey, would you mind…presenting this case? I-I can't do it."

"What…why?"

"I…" She stopped, "Just read it, you'll know." JJ told him, reaching up to her necklace to hold it again almost instinctively.

Hotch noticed her holding the necklace, he was a profiler so within moments he knew the case was about her sister. He knew it was going to be hard for her this week. "Okay, I understand."

JJ nodded and walked out and back into her office, sitting down and gulping hard. She held back even more tears threatening to come out; she wouldn't let her friends see her cry. She _couldn't_ let her friends see her cry.

Hotch walked out of his office and up to Emily, Morgan and Reid. He had a soft expression on his face.

"What's wrong…?" Emily asked, hesitantly. It was weird seeing Hotch's normally hard, cold face with a soft look on it. It made her even more worried that JJ was going to transfer because these were the only two times she had seen his face get this way.

"It's about JJ; this case is linked to her family. I'll let her tell you, but it's going to be a hard week for her so do your best to treat it like every other case because if I was her I wouldn't want any attention from this." Hotch told them, "Go get Garcia and Rossi and tell them we're meeting to brief on the case." He walked back up to JJ's office, "JJ, we're meeting to brief on the case."

JJ nodded, she sighed shakily. "I-I…thought she was resting in peace, now someone is just…ripping the closure away from me. I don't know if I can handle it, Hotch."

"You'll get through it and once you find out the truth, you'll get that closure back." Hotch told her comfortingly. "A friend of mine once told me that it does get better… and one day you'll remember her and it won't hurt…you'll be happy. Don't let it get to you, just remember all the happy things in her life and it won't hurt as much. We'll stand by you, JJ. You aren't alone."


	4. Briefing

JJ was grateful to have her team in her life because she knew without Hotch's support she wouldn't get through this. He was the only one who really understood how she felt having lost someone that was really special so...suddenly. Sure, Garcia had lost her parents, but JJ had never talked to Garcia about her sister because she didn't want to get the pity looks and the sympathy. It made her feel weak and pathetic so she had never told anyone except for Hotch because he was older than her and she knew he wouldn't give her those looks because he knew the feeling. She liked that about him, that she could go to him about anything and never get looks from people or get judged, she would just get helpful, truthful advice that she needed. She walked next to the unit cheif and down to the briefing room where she sat down and he started going through the files. Since they were the first ones there they waiting for the others to file in.

The next to get there were Morgan, Garcia and Emily. Last came Reid and Rossi, they all glanced at JJ when they came in, trying not to be obvious. They all knew that there was something about her, like Hotch had told them, but not one of them knew what it was. She didn't seem to notice their looks because she was too lost in her own thoughts. After they had all sat down, JJ was silent for a couple seconds and then she sat forward.

"Before we start…I want to tell you about my sister. Sarah was 6 years older than me. When she was 17 and I was 11, this one day she just…came into my room and gave me this necklace, her favorite necklace. She told me she loved me…and…the next day…we found her…in her room." She didn't want to go into detail about that part. "She had…committed suicide." JJ stopped for a moment to organize her thoughts and then continued, "The weird thing was that she never seemed depressed or had a drug problem or anything that you would expect to see in a routine suicide. And I know that that can happen sometimes in suicides when the family doesn't notice their changes, but I knew her. I mean, I really knew her because she was my big sister and I looked up to her and I wanted to be just like her. We were close and sure we fought, but I would have known if she was having problems. Even my brother who watched out for her at school, hadn't noticed anything wrong in her behavior. It's been 15 years and now the police think she was connected to a series of murders that were disguised as suicides in Pennsylvania." JJ said, trying not to show emotion. She looked down at her hands that were folded in front of her on the table. She felt everyone's eyes on her and didn't like it, she really didn't want their pity. She didn't want anyone to look at her differently now that they knew this about her, she didn't want them to ask if she was okay or ask if she missed her sister. She wanted them to know about Sarah so that they could remember her like JJ did, in a happy way, but when they gave her those looks it made her think of her sister in a sad way.

"Oh JJ…" Penelope started to say. Her eyes were big and sympathetic, like a puppy's. It was the look JJ had dreaded getting.

"It's okay, I'm fine and we need to treat this like any other case." JJ cut in, giving them a half-hearted smile. She really wanted to end the conversation now.

Hotch decided to start talking about the case. There were pictures of a young boy dead in his room that appeared on the TV. "James Keene, a 16 year old boy was murdered in his house in Pittsburgh two weeks ago. When the police department looked into his background they were suspicious about it being a suicide because he was a straight "A" student and captain of the football team. Soon after that they found physical evidence in the crime scene to support their theory. The knife that was used to kill him had partial finger prints on it. Since there was some suspicion they decided to test it and they couldn't find a match in the system, but when they compared them to James' prints they weren't a match." He cleared the screen and then took a breath before starting on the next murder.

"Joseph Grant, a 17 year old boy was found in New Kensington just outside of Pittsburgh two weeks before James Keene's murder. He was found in his bathtub and supposedly drowned himself. Once they did the autopsy they found faint strangling wounds on his neck that were found out to have caused his death. Joseph was a great soccer player and only in his junior year, had a scholarship to Penn State for soccer." Pictures popped up of Joseph before and after the murder. He was a handsome teenage boy with dark brown hair and green eyes.

"So there's a two week cooling-off period between murders?" Rossi suggested, looking at the slides carefully.

"Not necessarily." Hotch answered him and then paused for a second, "Sarah Jureau, a 17 year old girl was thought to have hung herself, but they found drugs in her blood and 15 years ago they didn't think anything of it because she had supposedly committed suicide and drug use was usually associated with that. Recently they found a small wound in her arm that someone used to inject the drugs in her. The unsub drugged her before hanging her while she was unconscious. The drugs were illegal drugs that teen kids would use, so this guy has to be connected to drug dealing and teenagers in some way to know those things and have access to those kinds of drugs." On the TV screen, pictures of JJ's sister popped up. Sarah and JJ looked alike, they both had blonde hair and the same facial features, but her sister had striking green eyes. A few seconds later, the pictures of the crime scene started popping up and JJ couldn't look at them so she kept her eyes glued on her shaking hands. She didn't need to look because she'd already seen it; she had been there the day they had found her and she had even been there when the murderer came in, sedated her sister and killed her, but JJ didn't even wake up.

Rossi, who was sitting next to JJ, saw her hands shaking and reached over taking one of her hands in his, trying to comfort her. Their eyes met and just knowing that Rossi was there for her, made her feel a little bit better.

"There were also three other murders 15 years ago before Sarah Jureau was killed. So he had a 15 year cooling off period and now he's back." Hotch added."It's too early to tell if his recent two week cooling off period will be consistent, but we may find out because in two days it will be two weeks from Joseph's murder."

"So how are they connected?" Morgan asked, holding the case files in his hands. He scrunched his eyebrows in thought.

"They all live in the same community, Sarah and James went to the same church in their town and were both in youth group together until she died. Two of the victims from 10 years ago also went to the same church and youth group in a town south of East Alleghany. Both churches belonged to the same diocese. Joseph Grant was the only one not connected to the others. "

"So should we interview the leader of youth groups, it could be him and he just murdered Joseph because he had a personal connection with him somehow." Morgan suggested, shrugging.

"No…" JJ added in, "Parents can stay for youth group and watch, plus there's also more than one leader." She said, shaking her head.

"So they go to youth group, they confess their sins and he kills them because of that?" Rossi proposed.

"No, if this were based on religion, the kills wouldn't be disguised. The unsub would want people to know that they were sinners. This looks more like an Angel of Death profile." Reid told them.

"Angel of Death?"

"That's when the victims vent to the unsub and he kills them in order to save them from their problems or from their families, who he thought were ruining their life. The unsub sees it as putting them out of their misery." Reid explained. "That would explain why he killed Joseph too, Joseph probably knew the unsub personally and vented his problems to him. That's what got him killed."

JJ bit her lip; Sarah always hated it when she annoyed her. She was probably venting about her irritating little sister and that could have been what got her killed.

"…okay?" Hotch said, waking her from her thoughts.

JJ stood up, while everyone else did. "What?" She asked, having not heard Hotch.

"We're boarding the plane in 30 minutes and Emily and Morgan are going to the church when we get there. You, Rossi and I are going to talk to the families. That includes yours. Reid and Garcia will stay back at the station and get an evidence board ready."

"Garcia's coming?" JJ tilted her head, curiously.

"She volunteered."

* * *

**Sorry it's kinda short, but I'll try and post everyday because I've written almost all the chapters, but I have to edit them before I post them**


	5. Their First Lead

Emily and Morgan walked into the East Alleghany church only to find that it was completely empty. They weren't surprised because it was Tuesday afternoon after all, but color filled the church from the light streaming in through the stain glass windows. It was beautiful sight to see, both of them just marveled in silence until they heard footsteps, it was Louise Larson, the head of recreation, youth groups and religious education at the church.

"You must be the FBI, thanks for coming." Louise said, shaking each of their hands. "I'm Louise Larson."

"I'm Agent Prentiss and this is Agent Morgan." Emily said, smiling. "We're here to ask you some questions, but first would you mind giving us a list of parishioners and the leaders of the youth group, along with their contact information."

Louise nodded. "I'll get it." She walked off.

"This is the perfect place, kids come here to vent, but when they let it out the unsub is listening and waiting to find his next victim." Morgan said, picking up a bulletin of announcements from the mass they'd had on Wednesday. He shook his head, the church was supposed to be a safe place and this unsub was taking advantage of that.

* * *

Meanwhile, JJ, Rossi and Hotch were driving down to James Keene's old house. JJ led the way, she wanted to take charge in this and make sure that she empathized with the victim's families so they knew that she knew how they felt and that she had been in their position before. She knocked on the door of the nice two story house. When his parents opened it, she introduced herself, Rossi and Hotch, before walking inside. The woman's eyes were puffy and red so they knew she had been crying before they had came, about what, they wouldn't find out. Because his mother was in such a fragile state they decided to examine his room first and let the police department handle the questioning. The parents didn't mind they were relieved to have put off the questions. The man pointed them in the direction of their son's room and then he sat down on the couch, comforting his wife.

Rossi looked around as they made their way in the direction he had pointed, it was the perfect home. It was super clean with bright colored paints on the walls and modern retro furniture. All the pictures on the walls of the family looked happy and cheerful, but he knew that that wasn't really proof that that was how it really was. There was also a shelf with a load of trophies on it; Joseph's football trophies. They read MVP and Best Team Player, things like that all about good sportsmanship. The three of them made their way into James' old room. The first thing they noticed was his king sized bed that took up a big portion of the room; it had dark brown sheets and a dull green comforter. The posters on his wall were all of famous football players and their teams: Ben Roethlisberger, Tom Brady, Tim Tebow and Charlie Batch. As they walked in, Rossi looked at the picture of Ben Roethlisburger.

"Steelers really?" He shook his head in disgust

JJ smirked, "You better not trash the steelers. You do realize how close we are to Pittsburgh don't you?"

Rossi sighed, she had a point. "You win this time, Jureau." He chuckled for a second before becoming serious and looking through Joseph's stuff. A laptop was sitting closed on his desk, surrounded by all his textbooks from his school. He also had a football shelf with a signed football in a case on it and a jersey of the team folded next to it. Pictures of him playing football sat on the top shelf; James must have been most proud of those.

"He's the football guy; the guy all the girls want and the one all the other guys want to be. There was absolutely no reason for him to commit suicide." JJ said, looking over at his football shelf. She picked up one of his football pictures and stared at it. It was of him and his team, they were holding the championship trophy, it read Runner's Up, but it seems like none of them cared because they knew they'd played as hard as they could. To JJ, it was overwhelming how fast someone's life can be taken away. The date on the football picture was just one week before James was killed and he looked truly happy with absolutely no idea that in just one week he would be dead.

Rossi picked up James' phone, "I don't know about that, from the looks of these texts…he had to break up with his girlfriend because of his parents. Looks like a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing. He talks about them running away together and getting away from this quote "stupid town"."

"That must have been the unsub's reasoning for killing him. It was the thing James talked to him about and it was the reason that he thought James needed to be saved." Hotch said, thinking out loud.

Reid and Garcia started to set up in the police department, he set up the evidence board while Garcia set up her computer system. Once they finished they sat in the briefing room where most of their stuff was. Between them it was silent for a few moments and then Garcia looked at Reid. "Do you think she's gonna be all right?" she asked; that had obviously been on her mind for a long time. She couldn't stop worrying about her.

"Who? JJ?" Reid asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "I don't know...The Angel of Death profile might make her feel like it's her fault, like she's the reason her sister was killed. I think she'll be okay though…I mean…I hope she will. I think if anyone can handle this, it's JJ."

* * *

A couple of hours had passed, but Emily and Morgan were still interrogating youth group leaders at the first church. All the answers they were giving seemed truthful and genuine; nothing suspicious was really getting their attention yet. Luckily, after asking the all right questions something finally stuck out.

"Was there ever anyone who didn't have a kid in youth group, but stayed and watched anyway?" Morgan asked the man, deciding to not to ask the routine questions they'd asked everyone else. He knew they needed to approach this from a different direction to get the right results.

"There was this one guy…he used to stay for all the sessions. Parker Henson; he stayed every week and just watched. It was pretty creepy actually. He kept eyeing this one girl…Sarah Jureau, but I didn't really think about it much because she committed suicide. He might be your guy." Sean Raisman, the leader of youth group and coach of the Varsity soccer team at the high school, told them.

Emily nodded. "Wow, sounds like he fits the description we're looking for, thank you so much. We'll contact you if we get any information about Henson." She said standing and shaking his hand respectfully.

Morgan dialed Garcia's number as he and Emily walked out of the church together and approached the SUV.

"You've reached the Goddess of Fabulousness. How may I help you?" Garcia asked, sitting forward in her chair.

"Hey baby girl, can you look up Parker Henson for me?" Morgan asked and without getting an answer he could hear her typing

Garcia looked at the screen, normally she would have given him a cute, witty response, but she was too focused now on finding this guy. "Parker Henson has a criminal record of attempted rape and once got put on probation for stalking. Henson lives in Pittsburgh and goes to the same church as the victims. His address is 2505 Hillside Boulevard, that good?" she asked.

"That's my girl." Morgan hung up, "He has a criminal record." He told Emily.

Emily nodded, "Let's go. Call Hotch and tell him." She walked out to the car while Morgan dialed Hotch's number.

JJ, Rossi and Hotch were at Joseph Grant's house, investigating his room. They didn't find anything out of the ordinary. When they interviewed his parents, they said he had gotten into trouble at school and in his community for stealing. They had punished him harshly for it, no phone, TV or social interaction. They knew that that was the unsub's motive and that was all the information they needed for now.

Hotch's phone rang and Morgan explained what happened, "Morgan thinks they have a lead." He told JJ and Rossi after he hung up.

"Already?" Rossi asked, surprised. It was only their first day out here and they hadn't even gotten the profile out yet.

Hotch nodded, "Parker Henson."

"He was a creep. He used to always sit on his front porch and watch us get off the bus in the afternoon. My mom had told us to stay away from him though, so I don't think Sarah would have vented to him, but I'm not sure." JJ told them, sighing. Any lead was a good lead, she tried to tell herself.

"He sounds like the type and has a criminal record." Rossi said, reading the information Garcia had sent them about Henson.

"Let's go to JJ's house now." Hotch said, "Morgan and Emily can handle interviewing him."

JJ looked down at her feet as they drove down the familiar streets that she had drove on everyday to get home from school, the road where she had fell off her bike and broke her arm, the road where her brother, sister and her used to walk down to the park on to walk their dogs. She knew that going back to this house would bring back old memories that she wasn't ready to re-live. Memories that she didn't even want to remember. As they pulled into the driveway, JJ gulped hard. This wasn't going to be easy and she knew it. She was going to be profiled and interviewed just like all the other victims. JJ really didn't want to talk about it to anyone; she wanted to be alone, but she would push through it to help the investigation. She got out of the car with Rossi and Hotch, rubbing her sweaty palms on her pants.

Hotch and Rossi walked towards the door, but JJ froze in her tracks before she got on the porch, her face blank. Rossi and Hotch turned around to see her standing there, "I'll talk to her." Hotch said, turning around and walking back to her.

"I can't…I can't go in there and let myself be a victim. I know you're going to profile me and ask me questions about her… I don't think I can do this…" JJ said, shaking her head slightly. "I just _can't_, she meant so much to me and…I-I just…"

"I know, JJ. Trust me I get it." Hotch nodded, talking about his wife that was killed. "Like you said, we have to treat this like any other case. If you want to find out what really happened to her, you have to let yourself be the victim for once." Hotch said, "You are the strongest, most passionate person I know. You can handle this, I know you can."

JJ smiled a little bit. Hotch always knew what to say to make her feel better. "Flattery doesn't get you anywhere." She joked, trying to keep the mood light before she had to go in.

Hotch smiled, slightly pleased he had comforted her a little bit.

"Okay…let's do this." JJ walked up to the door and knocked, her mom answered. JJ and her mom looked a lot alike too. Her mom was blonde, just like her and they had the same bright smile and facial features…except for the eyes. JJ's were a brilliant blue and her moms were a dull green, a duller version of her sister's. There were dark circles under her mom's eyes too, probably because she hadn't been sleeping much since they'd been told about Sarah.

"Jennifer, it's so great to see you." Her mom hugged her. "Who's this?" she asked, pulling away and looking at the two men standing on her porch.

"This is SSA Hotchner and SSA Rossi." JJ said, "My bosses." She added with a whisper, smiling.

"Oh well, I'm Sally Jureau. My husband Raymond is at work right now." Her mom shook their hands, "Come on in."

JJ sat down on the couch next to her mother while Hotch and Rossi sat in chairs across from them.

"Okay, well let's jump right into it." Rossi said, nodding. "Umm…Did Sarah go to youth group every single week?"

"Yes, she loved it there. It was very therapeutic for her in a way, to talk about her problems." Helen said and JJ just nodded, knowing that talking about her problems is what had gotten her killed.

"What kind of problems did Sarah have that she had to talk about there?" Rossi asked them, rubbing his hands together.

"I don't really know…" Helen said, thinking. She looked at JJ for some help to answer this question.

"She had a boyfriend," JJ started, "but I don't think there were any problems between them." She glanced at her mom, "Can we have some coffee?" she asked.

"Sure, sure." Her mom stood up and walked out. Now JJ could talk freely without holding anything back.

"It was a hard year before she died, we were always fighting. Every single time she would end up getting grounded for it. I was little, it was hard not to annoy her and every time I would find a way to blame it on her. My parents… grounded her on prom night because I told my parents that she smoked, but I'm not sure if she would have talked to someone about that in youth group. My parents had no idea about her smoking, they were completely oblivious to all of us because of their crazy work schedules." JJ said, looking at her feet. Hotch and Rossi nodded, remembering that her dad was lawyer and her mother was some kind of nurse. JJ stared off, remembering the day she'd caught her sister smoking under the porch when she was walking home from her friend's house. Sarah had lifted her finger to her lips saying, "Shhh…" Pretty much telling JJ not to tell their parents. It had been hard for JJ to keep that a secret, especially from her brother who was her favorite guy in the world at that time so eventually she had let it slip because Sarah was blaming one of the kids in their neighborhood for the cigarette buds under their porch. JJ just felt obligated to be the advocate for their neighbor, so she had told them about Sarah. That was one of the times in JJ's life that when Sarah had yelled "I hate you!" at her, it had actually seemed sincere. It was her fault Sarah had died, she had that feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Rossi saw her expression and his eyes softened "She loved you." He told her, as if he had read her mind.

Hotch nodded, he didn't want to make JJ have to do anymore questioning for now. "Can we see her room?" he asked, standing up.

JJ nodded, grateful it was over now. "Sure." She led them up the stairs and into her sister's room. "It's cleaner than it used to be, my parents must have cleaned it after she…umm…died." She had trouble using that word. It didn't feel right to describe her sister like that.

Hotch nodded, looking around. "Sarah is just like the others, good grades, great boyfriend… same unsub."

JJ nodded, looking around at her sister's things. Memories flooded through her head, all the times they fought and the times that they had heart to heart conversations with each other. Not that she would have admitted it back then, but her sister was her role model. She wanted to be just like Sarah and now…she really did miss her, everyday she thought about her and the life she could have had. Sometimes she wondered what her sister's life would have been like…what she would've become. She'd like to believe that her sister would have gone far, she would have gotten married to a professional baseball player and turned out to be an international business major, where she would get to travel, but would have the freedom to be able to be home for holidays and her kid's birthdays. Every year they'd visit each other and let their kids play, while they gossiped about their husbands and their parents. JJ just wished her sister would have been alive long enough to at least have gotten the chance to experience all that stuff. No one deserves to have that chance taken away from them, especially by someone else.


	6. Thanks for the Memories

Emily and Morgan walked up to the house of Parker Henson and knocked on the front door. A short, stout man with big glasses opened the door. "Yes?" he asked. "How may I help you?" He talked slow, in an eerie, creepy way. It wasn't hard to see how people could have judged him so easily.

"Parker Henson? I'm Agent Prentiss and this is Agent Morgan. We're from the FBI." They showed their badges to him, "May we come in?" They tried to seem friendly, but they knew their badges alway intimidated people.

"Oh…yea." Parker Henson said, "What do you need?" His house was a complete mess. There were news papers all over the ground. He also had a suitcase sitting open on the couch. Morgan could see into his kitchen through an opening in the living only to see stacks of unwashed dishes covering the counters.

"Unpacking?" Morgan asked him, walking over to the open suitcase. He lifted up some of the clothes, nonchalantly trying to act like he wasn't looking for anything, but he actually was searching his bag casually. Underneath the dirty clothes was nothing, but a shampoo bottle.

"I just got back from a 2 month business trip in Spain. It was enchanting really, there's nothing like those Spaniards."

Emily nodded, slowly. If he actually had gone on that trip and he wasn't lying, then he couldn't be the unsub. He wouldn't even have been in this country while the murders were going on "Can you excuse me for a moment?" She dialed Garcia to check on his alibi.

"So what's this about?" Parker tried to clear off a spot for Morgan to sit in. He sat down ontop of his own suitcase, not really minding the mess. His glassed drooped to the edge of his nose and he pushed them back up to his eyes. This threw Morgan off a little bit because the unsub they were looking for had left close to no forensic evidence and he just wasn't confident that this slob could manage to do that, but Morgan just pushed the thought off to the side wanting desperatley for Henson to be the unsub. He wanted to bring closure back to JJ.

"No thanks, this won't take long. We just want to ask you a few questions." Morgan paused for a few seconds, "You go to East Alleghany Presbyterian, correct?" he asked him.

Parker nodded, "Yes sir, I've been a parishoner there for over 16 years ever since I moved here from North Dakota. You wouldn't believe how different Pennsylvania is from North Dakota, it's a completely different world up there." He spoke confidently.

Morgan was slightly annoyed with his trailing off of the subject, but he noticed that Parker spoke confidently which is a quality that is likely to be found in the Angel of Death profile because they are very involved in the community and well liked among their friends. Parker's confidence was a good sign towards the profile.

"Are you married?" Morgan asked him, even though he knew the answer.

"No." Parker tensed ever so slightly, but MOrgan noticed knowing that this was a sensitive subject for Parker since he was single and 55.

"So why did you go to youth group sessions every week even though you don't have a kid?" Morgan asked him, getting straight to the point. He really wanted to help JJ and the only way to do that was to arrest this creep.

"I was training to become a Youth Group leader, but once I got the certification and they looked through my background information I got a job offer so I couldn't do it. That was...I'd say maybe 10 years ago though. Ask Louise." Parker said, staring at Morgan. "Why?"

Before Morgan could answer, "Your story checks out…" She glanced at Morgan. "I guess we'll leave then, sorry to bother you." She walked towards the door with Morgan. Parker looked completely confused, but he didn't protest.

* * *

Hotch and Rossi started to look through Sarah's stuff, uncomfortably. It was weird for them to actually feel connected to a victim, it was like Sarah Jureau was part of their family which made it awkward for them to go through her stuff. They examined all of her books, her SAT scores and all her posters and trophies. JJ picked up a picture that was on Sarah's dresser of Sarah and her brother, Travis posing together with the same wide grin on their face. They were both about to leave for their proms. Her brother's senior prom and her sister's junior. Travis was wearing a dark, black tuxedo with a red tie hanging from his neck while her sister was wearing a stunning, tight red dress that fit her body type perfectly. Somehow, without even coordinating with each other they had managed to match. She smiled at the memory, wishing her brother could be here right now to help her through this but he lived too far away. Waking her from her thoughts Hotch and Rossi announced that they didn't notice anything that would suggest that she had actually committed suicide. "I think we're done here. We better head back to station now though and see what Reid and Garcia have." Hotch said, walking out of Sarah's room and down the stairs.

JJ nodded and followed them "I'll meet you guys back at the station. I want to go visit someone really quick."

"Take all the time you need." Hotch said, starting to walk out the front door with Rossi. "Oh and JJ," he started, "this wasn't your fault."

JJ looked at the ground for a second and then brought her gaze back up to meet Hotch's eyes. "I know…" she said, but it wasn't really genuine. She didn't know what to think, her mind said it wasn't her fault but her heart was saying the exact opposite.

JJ turned around once they left and walked back up the stairs. She walked into her own room and started looking around at her old stuff. She looked at her soccer pictures and pictures of her friends, but she stopped when she saw a picture of her with her sister. It was at the championship football game of their local high school. JJ was 9 then and her sister was 15. They had painted their faces with the colors of the home team and wore bows in their hair. They looked preppy, but in a small town that was how everyone showed spirit. JJ was on her sister's back and they were both smiling brightly in the picture. JJ remembered that game and when staring down at the picture, she flashed back to that night.

_They had won the game and her sister and her had climbed out her window and sat on the roof. JJ was already on edge, it was dark and there was only one streetlight down the street from them. To make it worse, her sister started a horror story about some kid who got murdered in the woods behind their house. It made no sense because Sarah was making it up on the spot, but JJ was young so it scared her anyway. _

_"And no one ever saw poor Jaime Patterson ever again..." Sarah smiled, ending with a cliche horror movie ending. _

_"Please stop Sarah. I'm scared." JJ said, gulping. She bit her lip, glancing over her shoulder. "I don't like hearing about that stuff..." She scooted a little bit closer to her sister._

_ "Awwww…It's okay. I just made it up, Jenny." Sarah said, smirking. She put her arm around her sister, comfortingly. She really hadn't meant to freak her sister out that much._

_"Why do people do that?" JJ asked, hugging her knees to her chest. Her eyes were big and innocent. She hadn't been exposed to the bad things in the world just yet._

_Sarah's face became serious. "I don't know. Some people say they're born that way, or that they…enjoy it, but don't worry Jenny. We live in a small town, we know everyone like they're our family. If there was a murderer here, we'd know it."_

JJ shook her head, not wanting to think about it anymore. She realized that she'd been crying…just remembering that her sister had said that just 2 years before she'd died made her sick to her stomach. _If there was a murderer here, we'd know it. _Well obviously they didn't. JJ sat down on her old bed which squeaked loudly underneath her. Sarah had been the only person that called her Jenny and it was one of the things JJ missed most about her. As she looked up at the clock she remembered that she had wanted to go visit someone. She stood up, walked out of her own room, and then took one last walk through her sister's room one more time, a faint smile on her face. Next, she walked back down stairs and up to her mom. "I'm gonna go mom, but I'll come talk to you later when we catch this guy." She smiled and hugged her.

"I love you, JJ." Her mom said, holding her tightly. It felt good to have at least one of her daughters safe in her arms.

JJ pulled away, "Love you too mom. Oh and can I use the car?" she asked, remembering that Rossi and Hotch had taken the car back to the police station..

"It feels like 15 years ago all over again. Try not to total this one." Her mom said, smirking.

JJ took the keys and walked out the door. "In my defense, that guy didn't have his turn signal on!" she called over her shoulder. As she got in the car and looked back at her house, she smiled about all the happy things that happened there. She hoped that everyone wouldn't remember Sarah as 'that girl who committed suicide' she hoped they would remember her for all the things that were good about her, but she knew no one would. People only focus on how a person dies, not how that person lived. With that thought lingering in her mind, JJ started the car and backed out, driving down the street. She had only drove a couple blocks when she pulled into a house's driveway. She turned her phone off so she wouldn't get interrupted while she was visiting. JJ got out of the car and walked up to the door of the small suburban house. Sean Raisman, her old highschool soccer, pulled the door open with a large smile on his face. He wasn't much older than her, they were only apart by about 10 years and because of his coaching job he was extremely fit and muscular.

"Jennifer? Jennifer Jureau is that you?"

"Coach." JJ smiled at him and gave him a hug. "It's great to see you."

"Wow you look great." He paused, looking her up and down. "What brings you back here?" Sean asked, smirking.

"They're investigating Sarah's suicide… turns out it was a murder." JJ shook her head, letting out a sigh.

"Oh…I'm so sorry." Sean paused, "What did you want from me?" He asked her, tilting his head. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorway.

"Well…I'm having a hard time with this and I really wanted to talk to someone who won't judge me, you know? I always looked up at you when I was playing soccer and I remember you always being good at helping people with their problems." JJ said, smiling weakly. It was hard for her to put a smile on her face at a time like this.

"Of course, of course, come on in." Sean said, leading her inside. As he did so, he looked around for people on the street and police cars before shutting the door behind her. "Please, sit down. I'll get you some water." He locked the door, silently as she turned her back to him and sat down.


	7. Realizations

Hotch and Rossi walked into the busy police station where in a conference room they saw Reid re-arranging the pictures on the evidence board. Every time he had to move the picture of Sarah Jureau, he felt a pang of sadness for his friend. Garcia was sitting in front of a computer monitor just waiting for someone to give her something to do so she could help. She looked up when she saw Rossi and Hotch walk into the room.

"Where's my girl?" Garcia asked, noticing that JJ wasn't with them.

"JJ wanted to go visit someone and she looked kind of…upset so we didn't ask questions. She'll be back soon." Hotch said, sighing. "Find anything new?"

Reid shook his head, "I keep looking, but there's nothing sticking out to me yet. I want to help her so bad, but…"

"Keep trying." Rossi told him and then turned around when he heard the door open.

Morgan and Emily walked in. "It wasn't Parker, sure he's a creep, but…he isn't our creep. He's been on a business trip for the last month. It couldn't have been him."

"So we're back to square one?" Rossi asked, frustrated.

"We have to go back and look at the people at the church. Look for people who are super involved in the church and schools. It's someone who the community would think of as a great person who really cares about the kids." Hotch said, trying to think of other ways to narrow down the search.

"Do any of the other leaders have criminal records?" Morgan asked, sitting down in one of the chairs. He looked defeated because there was nothing else he could think of to help JJ.

Garcia started typing, but shook her head. "Nope, none." She frowned.

"We need JJ; she'd know who was super involved." Hotch said, picking up his phone and calling her. She didn't answer the first time and he started pacing, getting frustrated.

Emily sighed, "This town is so small. I don't know how she survived here with nothing to do." She smirked, slightly. She wanted to lighten the mood now because she could tell everyone was on edge.

"JJ is JJ; She'd find something to do here." Garcia smiled, grateful that someone broke the tension.

"Yea, school, soccer, eat, sleep." Morgan said, sarcastically, "Sounds like fun."

Hotch tried calling again, but she didn't answer…again. His frustration turned into worry. JJ always answered when they called, something had to be wrong. He dialed her number again; this being the third time, but still got no answers. He decided that if she didn't answer on the fourth try he would track her. She wouldn't just blow them off like that. He dialed it a fourth time and let it ring, but once again she didn't answer. He left her a desperate message, but he had a feeling in his gut that something was extremely wrong. "Garcia, can you track JJ's cell phone? I can't get a hold of her."

Garcia typed for a minute or two. "Ummm…I can't find it on here."

"What do you mean you can't find it?"

"I can't find it, it must be off." Garcia told him, typing frantically, but there was still nothing there. Why would her phone be off? She's on duty.

"Where would she go?" Emily asked, worriedly.

* * *

JJ sighed, looking at the ground. "My team thinks that the guy they're looking for kills people because he thinks he's saving his victims from their miserable lives, like…putting them out of their misery."

"Your team?"

"I'm in the FBI. The Behavioral Analysis Unit." JJ smirked; it made her sound so professional and important when she told people where she worked.

"Wow…what are you, like what rank?" Sean asked, curiously.

"Supervisory Special Agent, but I used to be a Media Liaison."JJ told him, smiling a little bit.

"Wow. That's really great." Sean said, nodding. "But go on, sorry." He added.

"I don't know. I feel like it's my fault that she died because I was part of all her problems, you know? I either was the problem or I caused it, but I never meant to." JJ said, sighing heavily. She ran her fingers through her hair, smoothly. It felt good to get all those feelings out into the open.

"It was your fault." Sean said, "In youth group she always talked about how you were so clingy and always doing things to get her in trouble." He stood up and started pacing back and forth. "Your parents never took her side and I hate to admit it, but it _was_ your fault she died and your parents' too." He said, shrugging.

JJ gulped, she was hurt, but also scared. Right when he said that, she knew; Sean Raisman was the unsub. Deciding to try and play it off cool, she looked at her watch. "Yea…anyway, I uhh…have to go. Press conference." She stood up and walked towards the door even though she knew her cover was blown the moment she said it. She had been way too obvious.

Sean shook his head, walked after her. He advanced quickly and grabbed her from behind, he had the advantage from behind and he was much stronger than her so she couldn't get out of his grasp. Once he got a good grip around her he threw her to the ground. Seeing she was dazed on the ground he walked over to the counter to grab some rope. Before he turned around, JJ got to her feet so that when he came back she was ready for him, holding her fists up. She punched him hard across the face, her hand colliding with his cheek bone. This made Sean's head jerk to the side and he swayed a little bit. JJ's hand was throbbing fiercely from the punch, making her glad that he was dazed for a second. He dropped the rope and she started throw another punch that was aiming for his stomach, but he quickly kicked her in her own stomach, knocking her into the bookshelf. She pushed off from it and went for another punch to his face, but he was expecting it. He ducked and swung his fist around to punch her in chest. She coughed and he punched her across the face with a good hard hit, finishing the fight. JJ fell to the ground and he easily tied her up before picking up a knife out of a drawer in the kitchen. "You scream or you do anything to get attention, I will drive this knife straight through your stomach." He yanked her up off the ground.

JJ kept calm, "Fine." She said, angrily. He opened the front door and walked out to her car. He grabbed her purse and then walked over to his car, shoving her into the passenger's side while he got in the driver's seat. JJ was having trouble breathing; from this she could already tell that she had broken a few of her ribs and maybe even broken her hand. Sean locked the doors and started the car, "Give me your phone."

"Why?"

"GIVE IT TO ME!" Sean bellowed, hating when he people defied him. JJ already knew that from soccer and she wasn't intimidated so she wasn't going to step down.

"No." She answered calmly, as an FBI agent she was trained to be unfazed by his sudden anger.

Sean reached into her pocket having realized she was tied up and pulled out her phone, giving her a vicious glare. He turned it on and then dialed Hotch's number.

Garcia looked at her screen. "Sir, it just turned back on." She said to Hotch. She hoped it meant that JJ was fine, but there was no way to be sure yet.

"She's calling me right now." Hotch said, answering his phone. "JJ?" he asked, hopefully.

"Nope wrong." Sean said, lowering his voice so they wouldn't recognize it immediately.

Hotch looked at Garcia and mouthed, 'Trace this call'. "Who is this?" he demanded, making sure his voice was emotionless.

"Who do you think? Oh…that's right. You have absolutely _no leads_, well I guess my old pal Jennifer is gonna die before you even figure out who I am."

"HIS NAME IS SEAN, SEAN R-" JJ started to yell towards the phone, but Sean swung the knife around to rip into her in the leg. She screamed, painfully. It wasn't a real stab though, more like a deep scratch across her thigh.

"What do you want?" Hotch asked, flinching from JJ's scream. What had he done to her? The feeling of not knowing made Hotch livid.

Garcia bit her fingernails, nervously as she listened in on the call. She was recording it in the hope that would help them profile the unsub. When JJ screamed, her stomach dropped and she cupped her hand over her mouth with a gasp. Her scream sounded like a pain scream, which made Garcia furious with whoever this Sean guy was. Sure, she didn't know anything about him, but what she did know was that Sean was a monster. He was a monster for hurting someone so…pure and wholesome. It was heart-wrenching to think about what he was going to do to JJ even though she hadn't done anything wrong.

"Credit. Once you find out who I am, I want credit for saving all those people and…of course kidnapping and killing an FBI agent. You guys really need to be better at your job." Sean chuckled. "I'll be famous. I just have to think of a name for myself." He said, excitedly.

"Don't you dare touch her." Hotch threatened, his protective side showing. Morgan, Emily and Reid all stared at Hotch, their eyes big with concern. They were all protective of JJ because she was one of the youngest and most innocent people on the team.

"I hope you catch me, I really do." Sean smirked and chuckled lightly. "Good luck."

In the background JJ was staring at her wound, "Please…." She groaned, hoping that he would find it in his heart to at least put something over her wound. Tears streamed down JJ's face because he leg was pulsing with pain. She wished she could stop the bleeding from her thigh, but her hands were tied behind her back. Sean threw her phone out the window and into his yard. "Off to the warehouse. That's when the fun starts." He chuckled, deviously.


	8. Pushing up Daisies

Garcia gulped when the call ended. The last thing they'd heard was a small voice in the background that sounded a lot like JJ saying please. It was more like begging, she was definitely getting desperate now. The blonde woman they had all known to be tough and strong was now pleading to a pyscho man, it was terrifying. Garcia was staring at the ground, her eyes wide. "Oh my god. He has her." She said, her voice was shaking.

Hotch put his phone away, thinking quickly. "She said it was Sean...where was the call coming from?"

"It was too short to trace. I couldn't get a perfect location, but I can tell you it's somewhere in East Alleghany near the high school." Garcia said, feeling guilty. She wished she'd gotten more to help JJ.

"Look up all the Sean's in this town." Hotch ordered, "Start with ones that are super involved in the community, especially in churches and schools."

Garcia started typing, trying to ignore her own emotions for the sake of the team. "Sean Hampton is a businessman..." she paused, typing as quickly as she could. "It's not Sean Grace either...hmmm..." Everyone stared at her as her eyes scanned the monitor, furiously. "What about Sean Raisman? He's the Varsity soccer coach and one of the youth group leaders."

"He's the one who gave us Parker Henson as a lead…to throw us off! We should have figured it out when we found out when Henson told us he hadn't been in youth group sessions for years." Emily said, shaking her head. How could they have missed that? They were all too desperate to help JJ that they made careless mistakes.

"Well what are we doing here? We have to get down to his house! We have to help JJ before he hurts her." Reid said, protectively. He practically ran out the door and everyone else followed him with the same urgency. They all got in cars and drove down to his house, including Garcia. When they got there, they knew he wasn't there because his car was gone, but JJ's car was still parked in the driveway. They went inside and right off the bat they could tell that they had fought. JJ's blood was on the floor by the coffee table and there were books all over the floor from the bookshelf.

Morgan smiled slightly, knowing that JJ must have put up a fight. "That's my girl."

"Where would he have gone?" Reid asked, pacing back and forth. He ran his fingers through his hair, thinking urgently, but nothing was coming to him. This was the one time that the genius was at a loss for words and it was the worst time for him to be stuck. How could he, of all people, not be able to help her?

"He'd take her somewhere where no one can hear her screams. Somewhere that will mean something to him and since she knows him well, she'll know it too." Hotch said, sighing.

"The church?" Morgan asked, "He spends a lot of time there."

"No, that's too obvious. It will be somewhere that we haven't been yet." Rossi said, thinking. He started walking through the house, looking for things that could indicate where he would have taken her.

"Maybe it has something to do with soccer…JJ played on his team, so it would mean something to the both of them." Emily suggested, shrugging. She was just trying to put ideas out in the open.

Hotch nodded in agreement. "Call the Recreation Department and see where they play soccer in this town."

Emily nodded, pulled out her phone and walked out to the front yard.

Garcia, who had been outside looking through JJ's car, walked in holding JJ's phone in her hand. "There's no way to track her now." She said, terror in her eyes. "Why would he take JJ? She's so innocent…"

"JJ trusted him and when she came here to talk to him about her sister, he saw her vulnerability and he took advantage of it." Hotch said, sighing. "He wants to feel in control, he wants her to feel like it's her fault."

"Oh god." Garcia let out a shaky breath.

Reid walked back inside too and sat down on the couch. He looked pale and shaken up with his eyes wide. JJ was his best friend, he couldn't lose her. That wasn't an option; he'd already lost Giddeon, Elle and almost Emily. JJ wasn't going to be added to the list, he wouldn't let that happen.

Emily walked back inside, "There are four soccer fields in this area. One is outside the Rec. Department, the other is outside the high school, and the last one is across the street from a gated neighborhood."

"Reid, Garcia and Morgan go to the one across the gated neighborhood. I'll go to the high school one and Emily and Rossi go to the one by the Rec. Department. Got it?" Hotch asked and when everyone nodded they all got in cars together and started driving to each of the soccer fields.

* * *

JJ groggily started to wake up, everything around her felt like a dream; blurry and unclear. The last thing she remember was passing out in the car from losing too much blood because her leg wound. She felt her heart beating hard in her chest, not from fear, but from not knowing. She had no idea where she was, who was there, why she was there, or how long she had been out. Her wrists were twisted behind her and she could feel the rope tied around them; he had tied her to her chair. As her time awake went on everything started to get more distinct, she looked down at her leg to see that Sean had tied a bandage around her thigh so the bleeding had stopped. She could already feel that her left eye was swollen from where he had punched her, but it was just a cherry on top of all the pain she was feeling right now. The only good thing was that Sean was nowhere to be seen for now. From the looks of it, she was in an old warehouse. The ceiling was very high above her and the only lights that she could see were streaming in through the windows from outside. She recognized this place; it was the warehouse by a soccer field she used to practice at. She remembered a time when she finished practice at the same time that the Varsity Boys soccer team finished and she came in here with TJ Crossland, a gorgeous forward famous for leading his team to victory at the championship. He and JJ had a thing, but they weren't dating and they hadn't even kissed yet. He climbed up to the roof with her and they watched the sunset. As the sky darkened, he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. It was the perfect moment and now she found herself at the hands of a serial killer in the same exact place. She sighed, pushing the thought out of her mind and tried to work the knot that was keeping her hands tied together, but it was no use. Before she could try anything else to get out the ropes, Sean walked back into the room.

"Hey sweetheart." He gave her a smile and put his hand on her cheek, chuckling.

"Don't touch me!" JJ exclaimed, hostility in her voice. She pulled her face away from him and then looked him straight in the eyes, knowing that he wanted her to be scared. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

"Fine, you want to make this hard? I can play that game." Sean said, picking up his knife. He walked around behind her and touched the knife to the back of her neck. "Apologize and I won't have to stab you." He walked out in front of her again and bent down in front of her. They're faces were inches apart and she could smell the alcohol in his breath.

"Never." JJ spat, her blue eyes were cold with anger. She'd never been so angry at someone in her life. If she ever got out of that chair, he would be in trouble.

Sean sighed, "You've always been stubborn." He smirked, "You know what your sister said about you? She said that you were the favorite and that whenever you two fought; your parents would take your side. She hated that and that's why she had to be put out of her misery. I wanted to save her from you."

"That's not true. My parents loved her." JJ said, her anger fading slightly. Now she was concentrating on keeping him out of her head.

"Sarah told me that she was jealous of you. She was jealous of all the attention you got. Right when she told me that, I knew that I had to kill her. It was your fault." Sean repeated, teasingly.

"No it wasn't! You killed her because you're a psychopath!" JJ yelled at him, but in the back of her mind she couldn't help but believe it was her fault. He was succeeding in getting into her head, but she couldn't help it. What was she supposed to think?

Sean didn't take that well, he whipped his knife around to catch her cheek, just below her right eye. It left a deep narrow cut. "Jennifer Jureau, I thought you were smarter than this." He shook his head and then carried on with his story. "When Sarah "committed suicide" your parents weren't as devastated as they would have been if you had gotten hurt, were they? God forbid you fracture your wrist in soccer practice and they rush you to the hospital, but when Sarah died your mother didn't even call an ambulance. If she had, she would have known that Sarah could have been revived. Even when your brother was hurt, they never felt the urgency that they did with their precious little girl; the youngest of three."

"It _was_ like they…expected it from her." JJ whispered to herself, trying to ignore the stinging cut on her face.

"Exactly." Sean said, looking at his watch. "Time is ticking. I have to kill you soon before your friends find me." He paused, "Hmmm…slow or fast? You're choice."

JJ closed her eyes. "You're a monster and they'll catch you, even without me…they will catch you."

"Slow? I know that's my favorite too." Sean said, "One stab to the stomach and you'll die in two hours, maybe less." He chuckled. "Too bad I won't be here to see it."

"Where are you going?" JJ asked him, trying to ignore what he had just said.

"I have a family to save." Sean told her, chuckling.

"Who's family?" JJ asked him, hoping she'd be alive to tell her team where Sean would be.

"Yours." Sean laughed, "You've caused them enough trouble. So now I'm going to end their pain."

"No! No please! Don't touch them!" JJ started struggling in her chair, frantically trying to get free.

Sean rolled his eyes and reached into her purse, which he had brought with him, grabbing her wallet which had her driver's license in it. "Now I know where you live."

"I looked up to you, you know?" JJ said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"And you never knew that I was the one who killed your sister." Sean chuckled, "That's too bad." He twirled his knife between his fingers. "Goodbye Jennifer." He stabbed her hard in the stomach before shoving her driver's license in his pocket and walking out the doorway.

JJ screamed in pain, but this stab was different than the other. The other one to her leg hurt, but the ache subsided later. This one just kept throbbing and with each throb, the pain got worse. JJ felt like the end was near, so she just shut her eyes and waited for the pain to stop and for the world around her to fade away. With each passing second, she found it harder and harder to breath. She wished she could have said goodbye to her friends and her family. As she faded away, she started remembering all her favorite moments with her family and friends.

* * *

_JJ was holding her baby; it was only its first hour being in the world. She looked up to see Reid walk in, but he looked tired and distraught. "How is it that I just went through 15 hours of labor and you look worse than I do?" JJ joked, laughing lightly. _

_"Don't be ridiculous. You look beautiful." Spencer said, giving her a polite smile. _

_"You okay?" JJ asked him, concerned. He really didn't seem like himself, no statistics, no facts, no nothing. It was very worrying to see him like this because she knew there had to be something wrong for him to be this way. _

_"Yeah, of course." Spencer said, putting a smile on his face for her. It was her day and he wasn't going to take that away with his problems."You sure? Because I wanted to ask you something, but…it can wait."_

_"What is it?" _

_"Well Will and I were talking and... we want you to be Henry's god father."_

_"I don't- I mean…I don't know…" Spencer said, nervously. He was really touched they had chosen him, but he was still unsure about it. _

_"Here, you wanna hold him? It's okay." JJ handed Henry gently over to Spencer. _

* * *

_JJ was in Hotch's office when the team returned from one of their cases. She was holding Henry in her arms and they all swooned. Morgan walked up to her. "May I?" he put his arms out. _

_JJ smiled and handed Henry over to him. _

_"What's he doing? He's smiling at Derek Morgan." Morgan said, while carefully holding her baby. _

_JJ smiled, she liked seeing the sensitive side of Morgan. He was sweet and caring and it really made JJ sure that Henry would have a good family, including her BAU family. _

* * *

_A month after JJ had left for the state department job, she was having coffee with Hotch before work. They sat down at a table outside underneath an umbrella._

_"So how's the BAU?" JJ asked, sipping her coffee with a smile. _

_"We took a few cases, one of them was pretty brutal." Hotch shrugged, "Nothing really out of the ordinary."_

_JJ nodded, "Well that's great." She responded, awkwardly. _

_Hotch sat across from her for a few silent seconds before setting his coffee down on the table. He shook his head, "We need to stop pretending like everything is okay." he said, "You left and you shouldn't have. I'm sorry that I couldn't have done anything to help JJ."_

_"Hotch..." _

_"Strauss, she just...she wouldn't give in." Hotch carried on, guiltily having not heard her. _

_"Aaron." She said again with a little bit more forcefullness, he wasn't used to her using his first name so he immediatley stopped and looked up at her. "It's not your fault." she went on. "Strauss wanted to look good and I don't blame her...it's all about image, right?" She smiled and touched Hotch's hand gently. "I just want you to know that it isn't your fault and I promise that I'll try to come back after I find my footing again." _

_"It's really not the same without you. It's been hard to even find a replacement that even comes close to being as good as you were." Hotch told her shaking his head, "We all miss you, JJ."_

_"I miss you guys too." _

* * *

_JJ and Emily were walking through DC, both holding cups of coffee in their hands. _

_"JJ that's not the point!" Emily complained, half-smiling, half-laughing._

_"Well are you gonna call him?" JJ asked, narrowing her eyes at her friend._

_"Maybe." _

_"Emily!" JJ groaned while laughing lightly. _

_"Max Rawson is an arrogant, over-sexed, egotistical…"_

_"Hot British dude with a sexy accent, badge and gun. Just your type." JJ joked, but was half-serious about everything she said. _

_They talked for a few more seconds until they saw Garcia walking up to them with a bunch of bags in her hands. _

_"Oh no." JJ said under her breath, gulping. _

_"I know, I know. Don't say it. But when you see what's in here, and - and it's not my fault. They were calling to me, I swear. And they were all on sale, so if you think about it that means I am helping the economy which is more than I can say for you guys... 'cause no one else has bags." Garcia said, making excuses. _

_"Yeah, please tell me those aren't all for my son."_

_"They aren't. This one is for Kevin." Garcia held up a tiny bag. _

_Emily laughed and JJ shook her head. _

_"What? It is my duty as a fairy godmother to spoil the child. And Henry is finally old enough to be fun while opening presents. I am not taking them back! Give me my coffee and no one's gonna get hurt."_

* * *

_JJ was sitting at the table, scooping some baby food into Henry's mouth. He wouldn't eat it though, he just turned his head away preventing the spoon from enetering his mouth. JJ shook her head and sighed. "Will!" she called._

_Will walked in from another room. "He still won't eat?" He asked, looking over at his son._

_"Nope." JJ smirked, "He always eats when you feed him though." She loved the connnection her son and his dad had. _

_Will smiled and picked up a spoon, getting ready to start feeding him when Henry opened his mouth. _

_"Da-da!" Henry exclaimed, smiling. _

_JJ looked at Will, surprised. "He said his first word!" she exclaimed._

_Will nodded, looking shocked. "And it was da-da." His eyes watered slightly. This was a big fatherly moment for him and for his son. He looked over at JJ, "I love you." He smiled. "I love you both." He leaned in gently and kissed her. _

_JJ kissed him back and then gave him a hug. "Now get him to eat, you big softie." She laughed. _

* * *

That was when JJ realized someone was touching her, well shaking her actually. She was snapped back into reality only to feel her stomach still throbbing painfully. She felt dizzy and light-headed and even though she knew it was bad, a part of her just wanted to give up and keep her eyes shut because the pain was so great.

"JJ please wake up!" She heard a voice say, it took her a few seconds to realize that it was Spencer...her best friend. This determined her and gave her the strength to force her eyes to flicker open.


	9. Fighter

Morgan, Reid and Garcia arrived at the soccer field across the gated community, but it was completely empty. No kids playing, no teams praciticing, nothing...Off in the distance they all saw a warehouse behind the goal on the far side. Without a word, Reid and Morgan sprinted down the field and Garcia followed, running as fast as she could in her heels. The men burst through the doors, but didn't see anything at first. They held up their guns with flashlights, shining it around the large room. It was pretty dark with only small amounts of light flooding in through a few windows. Reid was the first to see JJ; he dashed over to her and immediately felt her neck. There was a pulse, it was faint and he could barely feel it, but as long as it was there he felt slightly relieved. He looked her up and down, from that he could tell she had been stabbed twice, once in the leg, once in stomach. She also had a black eye, a nasty scratch on her cheek and 3 or 4 broken ribs. He wasn't even sure if that was all of it, but he didn't want to waste more time looking at her wounds. "JJ, wake up." Reid said, touching her arm. He was shaking her lightly, but she didn't seem to respond at first. "Call Hotch!" he called to Morgan. "JJ, please wake up!" he shook her a little more. Reid's heart was pumping hard because he knew there was a possibility that she was fading too fast to stop it. She couldn't die, she just _couldn't._

Garcia sprinted in and knelt down in front JJ and next to Reid. "Are we…too late?" she asked, eyes filling with tears. She touched her friends' cheek, gently hoping to feel the warmth that always seemed to radiate off of her, but her stomach dropped as she felt how cold JJ's skin seemed to feel. Had she died before thet had even gotten there?

Before Reid could respond to Garcia's qutesion, he saw JJ's eyes start to flutter open. Reid smiled a little bit, "Oh thank god. She's okay…for now." He walked behind the chair and untied her.

Morgan walked up as JJ's eyes opened all the way, "The paramedics are on their way, hold on JJ." He said to her, trying to find his voice. Seeing her like this, literally took the breath out of him.

JJ's hands were shaking and her blue eyes were clouded with pain. She lifted her hand shakily to wipe away a tear that was streaming down her cheek.

Reid took one of her hands in his. "JJ," He said, "Can you stand?" He asked her, desperatley.

JJ winced when Reid took her hand because it was the one that was most likely broken so when he squeezed it, it sent a fierce pain through her hand and up her arm. She pulled her hand away from him. "Sorry." She said to him, feeling bad that he wouldn't be able to hold her hand.

"No, no...I'm sorry." Reid said, realizing her hand must have been broken. "Can you try to stand up?" He knew that he had to get her up because if she could stand or let alone walk, it was a good sign of her health and it meant that she had a good chance of being okay. "Here, let me help you." He got underneath one of her arms, and helped pull her out of the chair, but when she got up she completely collapsed in his arms. He had pushed too hard and she couldn't do it. That's when he knew it was worse than he had thought. "I got you." He held her up, she was actually very light. It really wasn't a challenge even for him.

JJ was still tearing up, her injuries were aching terribly. "I knew you would come…" she whispered, holding onto him tightly. The feeling of being safe in Reid's arms gave her a moment of comfort in this what felt like never ending chaos.

Reid bit his lip and gently helped her back into the chair. "I would have never stopped until I found you." He told her genuinely.

Garcia took JJ's good hand, just sitting on her knees there next to her. She was crying softly.

JJ squeezed Garcia's hand, "No tears." She said with a weak smile on her face, but she was starting to feel so….tired. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and just…sleep. JJ fought to keep her eyes open, but her eyelids felt too heavy to keep open.

Garcia saw her starting to fade, "No JJ, stay awake. Jennifer Jureau, you keep your eyes open." She demanded, clenching her teeth. Seeing her friend die before her eyes wasn't something she would be able to live with.

Reid wondered where the paramedics were. He'd read somewhere that the response time in Pittsburgh was around 3 minutes, but it felt so much longer now and if they didn't come soon JJ would be gone.

JJ closed her eyes and let the hand that Garcia was holding go limp. She just couldn't do it anymore, she felt too weak to do anything. The blackness invaded again and she started to let go of the world around her...it wasn't worth going through this pain, was it?

Luckily, a couple seconds later a paramedic rushed into the room. "Hey there." He said bending down in front of JJ. "How are you?"

JJ heard the paramedic's voice and her eyes opened slowly. She knew she had to fight for her son, husband and her team so she shook her head at his question. "My stomach…" she said. It was obvious he had stabbed her there because her shirt was soaked in her own blood. "Please…my family…"

The paramedic pulled her shirt up to see the wound. It was deep, but fixable. He got some gauze and pressed it onto the wound; JJ winced and squeezed Garcia's hand. "Don't worry. You'll see your family again. I promise. What's your name?" The man asked JJ.

"Jennifer Jur…" JJ's voice faded away before she could finish. She was still having trouble breathing, either because of her stab or maybe her broken ribs.

"JJ, her name is JJ." Garcia told the paramedic, cutting in.

"Hi JJ, I'm Mark. You need to stay with me, just try to keep your eyes on me, okay?" Mark told her, making eye contact with the blonde agent for a few seconds to let her know that she could trust him.

JJ paused, lifting up her hand to cover her mouth when she coughed. "I know…where…Sean…is going." She said, having to pause in between words. After the bout of coughing she went through passed, she looked down at her hand and saw blood.

Mark saw the blood too and he knew what that meant; internal bleeding. "We have to move her to the ambulance, now! I'll go get the stretcher." He stood up quickly.

"No that'll take too long." Morgan said, "I can carry her." He bent over and gently lifted her out of the chair. She let out a wince and wrapped her arms around his neck. Derek Morgan was so chivalrous, even at times like this.

Mark nodded, leading Morgan to the ambulance.

Morgan followed and laid her down on the stretcher inside the ambulance.

"There's only room for two." Mark stated as he climbed inside, one of them would have to stay behind.

Morgan nodded, "Reid and Garcia you go. I'll meet Hotch, Rossi and Emily at the hospital." He told them, stepping out of the ambulance.

Reid and Garcia climbed inside on either side of her stretcher. They watched as Mark put a mask over her mouth to help her breath and then he held the gauze down on her stomach.

"She's healthy, but her ribs are broken making it hard to tell if there is damage to her organs, but I definitely know there is internal bleeding. Once we get to the hospital, she'll go into surgery and if all goes well she should be fine." Mark explained to them. He knew it was important to keep them informed of their friend's situation.

Reid and Garcia both nodded, not taking their eyes off of JJ, whose eyes were wide open. She lifted her hand up and pulled the mask off.

"No, no leave that on." Mark said, starting to pull it back on.

"Wait, wait." Reid said, staring into her eyes. "She wants to tell us something."

"Sean…is going…to Virginia…he's going…to…kill…Will and…Henry." JJ rasped to them, having to breathe heavily in between words. She hoped they'd know what to do. When she was finished, she lifted the mask back onto her face and closed her eyes, having fulfilled her mission.

"Call Hotch now!" Garcia told Reid, while she took JJ's hand and squeezed it. Reid pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Hotch's number. As he did so he looked at the heart monitor in the ambulance and saw a flashing light and it started to make a loud beeping noise.

"She's crashing!" Mark told them. He started to give her CPR because there was no crash cart in an ambulance to save her.

"No! No!" Garcia yelled, shaking JJ's arm. "Don't die! You're not allowed to die on us Jennifer Jureau!"

"Hey, I need your help." Mark looked at Garcia and Reid. "I need the two of you to help me roll her on her side and I need you to hold her still on her side. I think I know what the problem is." He told them, "Okay?"

"Okay got it." Reid said, glancing at the monitor which was still beeping loudly.

"Okay. 1, 2, 3….roll!" Mark pulled JJ towards the side Reid and him were sitting on so that she was rolled on the side facing him and he could watch what was happening..

Reid and Garcia helped to hold her up on her side while Mark held her up from her back side.

Mark just sat there, completely still and watched her, but the monitor was still flashing and beeping. She wasn't getting any better.

"What are you doing? She's dying!" Reid exclaimed, angrily.

"Just wait…" Mark watched her, he knew what the problem was and it would solve itself.

"Please! Just save her! She's gonna die with you just staring at her like that!"

"Wait…."

"HELP HER!" Reid yelled at Mark, furiously. His friend was dying and he was just sitting there. He saw Garcia tearing up in the background as she flatlined for a moment.

Mark paused as he heard the flatlines and knew it wouldn't be long now. Just as he was about to try something else, he heard her start cough. She coughed and leaned over the side of the stretcher, throwing up painfully. It was mostly blood because of her internal bleeding and Mark knew that so he was just waiting for it to come out on its own. He used a towel to wipe off her mouth, she looked very weak and he wasn't so sure she was gonna make it now, but he hoped she would.

Garcia held JJ up on her side so she wouldn't coat again while Reid called Hotch and explained what JJ had told him. Hotch knew they had to take a plane to Virginia and call Will to warn him about Sean. He turned the car around and headed straight to the private runway that their jet was on. "Call me when JJ gets out of surgery." Hotch told Reid, "And call Morgan and let him know what's happening."

Reid nodded and hung up and was just about to call Morgan when they arrived at the hospital. He would have to explain it to Morgan when he got to the hospital. Putting his phone away, Reid turned his attention back to JJ. "Don't leave me, okay? You're my…best friend." He reached down and squeezed her hand.

JJ opened her eyes and looked up to meet Reid's eyes. She wouldn't leave him. From the experience with Emily, she knew what her death would do to him and she wouldn't let it happen.

Garcia sat and watched, letting them have their moment.

Mark pushed the stretcher out of the ambulance and then explained JJ's condition to the doctors waiting to take her to surgery. Each of the doctors nodded, taking it all in, and rushed JJ through the doors, making sure to keep her on her side.

Reid and Garcia climbed out. "She'll be fine." He told her.

"You really believe that?" Garcia asked him, her voice was a bit shaky.

"Of course, she's tough _and _on top of that, the statistics of her condition state-"

"Come on, let's go inside." Garcia cut in before he finished. "We have to find Derek."

The two walked inside the doors of the hospital and into the waiting room where they found Morgan. "Derek." Garcia said, as they walked up. She and her man shared a tight hug for a couple seconds until she pulled away.

Morgan looked at each of them. "How is she?" he asked them, sticking his hands into his pockets.

"It's not good, Derek…but she's a fighter." Garcia said, unwaveringly.

"Where are Hotch, Rossi and Emily?" Morgan asked, "I thought they were coming straight here…"

"They went back to Virginia." Reid told him.

"What? Why?" Morgan sounded betrayed, like he was angry that they wouldn't come to support JJ.

"Because JJ told us that Sean was going back to Virginia…and that he was after her family." Reid said, shoving his hands in his pockets. Why did all of this have to happen to her?

Shock spread across Morgan's face. "Do they need us?" he asked, now crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, Hotch said that they could handle it and that we should stay with JJ." Reid told him, he didn't want to leave anyway because JJ needed him right now.

Morgan nodded, "So what do we do now?" he asked.

"We wait." Reid concluded, sitting down in one of the chairs. He rubbed his hands together nervously, hoping that JJ would be okay.

* * *

Will was sitting on the couch with Henry, teaching him the game of football. To men it was like a rite of passage for their sons. He was just about to start explaining which position is which when the phone rang. "Be right back, buddy." He smiled at his son and got up to answer the phone. "Hello?" he said as he answered.

"Will, its Hotch. Listen, JJ is in trouble and-"

"JJ is in trouble? What happened? Is she okay?" Will asked his stomach dropping. His wife was one of the most, if not the _most_ important person in his life. If anything happened to her, he wouldn't know what to do with himself or how to raise Henry.

"Listen Will! Someone is coming to your house. They want to hurt JJ, so they're after you. Get out of your house and take Henry somewhere safe." Hotch told him, he was still on a plane with Rossi and Emily. They were 15 minutes away from landing at the FBI airport in Quantico, but Sean could already be there by now.

"Got it, but is JJ okay?" Will asked, walking back into the living room.

"I don't know, but I'll call you if I get any information. Just get out of there." Hotch repeated to Will, forcefully. If he didn't get out of the house, his wife would wake up with no husband or son.

Will nodded and hung up. "Henry!" he called, "We have to go run some errands!" he smiled. When he heard no response he got kind of anxious and tried to tell himself that nothing was wrong, but every parent has that feeling in their gut when something isn't right and he felt it. "Henry?" he called again, hoping his son would come running down the stairs and tell him that he was looking for a lost toy, but once again there was no answer. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw a man turn around the corner, holding a knife to his son's thin neck.

"Move any closer and your son dies." The man threatened, giving Will a dark stare. The knife was touching his son's neck and a few beads of blood trickled down to the collar of his shirt. Henry's small eyes were filled with terror.

Will just nodded, "Who are you?" he asked, raising his hands in the air so the man would know that he wasn't going to try anything. He had to think of a way to get his son away from him.

"That's not important." The man told Will, "I'm here for one reason and one reason only: To kill you and your son."

Will gulped hard, "Please don't hurt him." He begged, but he knew in the back of his mind that this wouldn't do anything to help. He just needed to buy himself some time to think of a plan.

The man shrugged, "Or what?"

Will didn't answer; instead he turned around and ran towards the phone. He knew that the man would go after him instead of staying with his son. As predicted, the man followed him and grabbed him from behind. He was much more built than Will was and he had the advantage from behind again so Will couldn't get free from his grasp.

"I guess you want to die first, that's fine with me as long as the kid watches." The man brought Will back into the living room, only to find that it was empty. "Where'd he go?"

Will smiled slightly; knowing his son had gone off to hide. They had taught their son right and even in this moment of danger, he was a proud dad.


	10. Not Too Late

Hotch, Rossi and Emily didn't waste any time after they got off the plane. They got in a car and sped down to JJ's house with the sirens on while Hotch tried to get a hold of Will again, but was having no luck. His stomach dropped and he stuffed his phone into his pocket, stepping on the gas. It was a race against time to save JJ's family. When they got there, they all instinctively pulled out their guns. Hotch took charge, "Emily you take the front and Rossi and I will take the back, you go in first and we'll be right behind you for back up." He ran around to the back with Rossi. Emily nodded, nervously. She really didn't want to be the reason that JJ's family got murdered. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

"FBI! Open up!" she yelled, when she got no response she used the heel of her foot to knock the door open. When JJ and Will had bought the house she had never thought she'd be kicking the door down. Emily held the gun out in front of her as she walked through the rooms, at first she didn't see anything, but then she saw splotches of blood on the carpet. She gulped hard as she followed the trail of blood droplets to the bedroom, hoping she wouldn't find JJ's family dead. When she opened the door she was half relieved to find that Will was still being held in the arms of Sean Raisman, the only bad thing was that he seemed to be unconscious and Sean was holding a gun to his head with a knife in his other hand. "Sean Raisman, put the gun down." Emily told him, "You know you don't want to do this. It's not too late to change your mind and not get charged for another murder."

Sean shook his head, he looked completely unstable. "Get out!" His voice was shaky and raised the gun to point it at her, but the hand that he was holding the gun with was shaking slightly.

Emily noticed his behavior and decided to take a different approach. "Sean, I know how you saved those families and I agree with you, all those kids wanted to be saved. You were just…helping them."

"Shut up!" Sean yelled, shaking still. He wiped sweat off his face with his shoulder. "You're lying! You don't understand why I do it! No one does!" He had a crazy look in his eyes that surprised Emily slightly. She had thought he would be calm at a time like this since he had the upper hand and head start.

"Calm down alright? I just want to talk." Emily tried to calm him down, but it only seemed to make it worse.

"Get out or I'll shoot!" Sean still had the gun pointed at her.

Emily shook her head, confident that he wouldn't have the guts to shoot her. "We have the house surrounded, there's no way out. Give yourself up!" she exclaimed, making eye contact with Sean.

"NO!" Sean pulled the trigger on his gun and threw Will to the side before running out the doorway, past Emily who had fallen to the ground. He dashed up the stairs as he heard footsteps in the dining room.

Hotch and Rossi were searching the kitchen and the dining room when they hear footsteps running up the stairs. Hotch nodded to Rossi and they both ran up the stairs, making sure to be light on their feet so they wouldn't make any noise.

Sean was climbing out the window of Henry's bedroom because there was a roof outside of it that he could jump off of. Once he got on the roof he slid down it and jumped off. He let out a small moan, but it wasn't loud enough for Hotch or Rossi to hear from the house. He got up and half-ran, half-hopped down the street and into the shadows before the backup Hotch called had even arrived.

Hotch and Rossi cleared each of the rooms, but were discouraged when they didn't find anything. "Where's Emily?" Rossi asked, running down the stairs. He walked through the halls until he heard a faint moaning noise.

"Hotch! Rossi!" A faint voice called from the bedroom.

Rossi followed the voice and jogged into the bedroom, immediately seeing Emily lying on the ground, leaning against a wall. "I NEED A MEDIC!" He yelled and bent down next to her. "Emily where are you hit?" he asked.

Emily lifted her right hand up to her left shoulder. "It's not bad, but…" she paused, "it's definitely painful."

Rossi looked at the hole on her shoulder, he had barely missed her bulletproof vest, but unfortunately he had and now Emily had a bullet in her shoulder. "Okay. Keep pressure on it. The medics are coming."

Emily nodded and held her hand down on her shoulder, luckily she had a high tolderance for pain so she gritted her teeth, but it was a different, stinging pain that made it scary for her. "Check on Will. He's on the other side of the bed."

Rossi walked around to the other side of the bed and felt Will's pulse, it was still there, he was just unconscious. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a medic rush in and start tending to Emily. He pulled her up off the ground and helped her out of the room and out towards the ambulance. Another medic came in, "Is anyone else hurt?" he asked.

"Yes. He's unconscious." Rossi reported lifted Will off the ground and setting him on the bed.

"Alright. I'll take care of him, he's gonna be fine." The medic nodded as he looked over Will, nothing serious was wrong with him. He'd just gotten hit in the head with the butt of a gun.

"Good. Have you seen a little blonde boy running around?" Rossi asked the medic and then looked up to see Hotch standing in the doorway.

"Nope, sorry." The medic answered, more focused on waking up Will at the moment.

Hotch gulped, he'd hadn't seen Henry yet and he was starting to get worried. He nodded at Rossi to stay with Emily and then ran out of the room, up the stairs and started searching through all the rooms. At first, Henry was nowhere to be found until he went into the bathroom and opened the cabinet under the sink. Henry was curled into a ball clinging to the pipe with his eyes wide. Luckily he immediately recognized Hotch, "I want my mommy." He told him, climbing out of the cabinet.

Hotch lifted Henry up and carried him down the stairs. "Don't worry, we'll go see her after your daddy gets checked by the doctors." He carried Henry all the way down to the ambulance where they had already woken Will up. "How are you?" he asked Will.

"Just a minor concussion. Nothing serious." Will told Hotch and then turned to his son. "Hey buddy. I'm so proud of you, you know that?" Will said, smiling. "Your mama is too." He looked at Hotch, "Have you found him yet?"

"Sean? No. He ran before the backup got here, but he couldn't have run that far so he has to be close. Don't worry they'll find him." Hotch told Will, reassuringly but he wasn't actually as sure as he made himself sound.

Henry smiled and hugged his dad. "Can we go see her now?" he asked, turning to look at Hotch. Will looked at him too, waiting desperately for an answer.

Hotch nodded. "Of course. I have to go check on Emily though." Walking through the cluster of police cars to the other ambulance, Emily was sitting on the edge while one of the paramedics was stitching up her arm.

"Luckily," the paramedic started as Hotch walked up, "it was a through and through wound so all I have to do is stitch her up and she should be good to go except for a little soreness."

"Well, we're going back to Pennsylvania to go see JJ and if you don't want to fly, that's perfectly fine." Hotch told Emily, obviously a little worried about her.

"No, I want to go. I have to be there for JJ." Emily said, nodding.

"Emily. You just got shot."

"You think I don't know that? Sure I was shot, but JJ went through much worse and she needs all of us now more than ever, Hotch." Emily insisted, "Plus...what was the point of even getting shot if I don't get to show it off to Morgan?" She chuckled a little bit and Hotch smirked for a brief second.

"Okay we're leaving once you're finished, okay?"

Emily just nodded and after the paramedics finished stitching her up she got in a car with Hotch and Rossi and drove down to their small private FBI airport.

Will got in his own car and put Henry in his car seat before following Hotch, Rossi and Emily's car to the airport and they all boarded a plane that would soon be on its way to Pittsburgh.

* * *

Reid was sitting forward in his chair with his face in his hands. Garcia was across from him, asleep in her chair and Morgan was nodding off too in the chair next to hers. JJ's parents had been waiting with them, but they left to go get some dinner for everyone. It had been almost 3 hours since a doctor had come to update them about JJ. Last time when he had come he said that she was bleeding internally due to the stab to her stomach. From what Reid could take in from the doctor, her internal bleeding was being caused by an artery being damaged and blood pooling underneath the skin outside the circulatory system. If too much blood was lost, the body wouldn't be able to recover and JJ would die. The surgeon told them he would try to fix it, but there were a lot of complications that could go wrong in a procedure like this and Reid knew all of them. The biggest was that if they couldn't find where the blood was coming from in time she would bleed out and never make it out of the operating room. Other complications were minor, but could still be life-threatening. Reid couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if she died, he saw flashes of Morgan holding a crying Garcia in his arms. Emily slouching back in her chair with a shocked look on her face and Will would bury his face in his hands while little Henry sat in a chair next to his dad, knowing something was wrong, but it wouldn't be until later that he would actually know what happened. JJ's mom would be crying loudly, collapsing into her husband's arms. Reid knew that Hotch would walk out of the room, to hide his emotions from the rest of the team. It would be hard on everyone, JJ was like the cornerstone. She held everything together and if she died, the BAU just wouldn't be the same. As Reid finished this thought he saw a doctor walk up, still in his scrubs. His face showed no emotion and this made Reid nervous, he stood up and walked up to the doctor being careful not to wake Morgan or Penelope.

"So?" Reid asked, crossing his arms. "How is she?" he gulped, waiting for the news.

"She just got out of surgery, we were able to find the source of the bleeding and stop it before it got too serious. We gave her stitches on her leg and face and we brought in a plastic surgeon to repair the damage to her skin, meaning-"

"She won't have scars, good." Reid finished his sentence.

"On her face, yes, but on her stomach there will be a scar from the stab. Also…she hasn't woken up yet and we have to have her on a breathing machine because one of her ribs that broke punctured her left lung, so she is too weak to breathe on her own. We're hoping she'll wake up soon, but there's no way to tell when and if she wakes up." The doctor explained, holding his scrub cap in his hands.

"If?" Reid asked, biting the inside of his lip. "You think there might be a possibility that she won't wake up?"

"It seems that she took an impact to her head at some point causing some swelling in the brain. We were able to relieve the pressure with a simple procedure, but we aren't sure if that did anything permanent to her brain yet. Only time will tell. " He explained with a grim, serious expression on his face.

Reid nodded. "Can I…see her?"

"Yes, but she is attached to a breathing machine right now." The doctor told him, "Just be prepared for that. She won't look the same."

Reid nodded, "I am." He followed the doctor to JJ's room and walked in. JJ was lying in the bed, there was a tube attached to her mouth and he knew that that was the tube that was helping her breathe. Her right hand was in a cast and her stomach was wrapped tightly in bandages and gauze. To Reid, she looked peacefully still, he smiled a little glad to see her. He sat down by her bed and took one of her hands in his. It was cold and motionless, but it still had that soft, comforting feeling to it that made him feel confident that she _would_ wake up.

"I remember when I first met you." Reid started, smiling, "It was a Tuesday morning and you walked in and introduced yourself. You were young and confident, I'd even venture to say fearless. I remember you seeming so nice and so…approachable. It was like right then I knew I could trust you and that we'd end up being friends. Ever since then we've been close, but you were always looking out for me and now I feel like I should have been looking out for you. I can't imagine the FBI without you, so please JJ you have to wake up for me and for Henry." He told her, not knowing if she could hear him or not. He would have talked more, but his phone rang. He stood and walked out of the room, while answering it. "Hello?"

"Hey it's Hotch. Henry and Will are okay, we caught Sean before either of them got seriously hurt, but he shot Emily. It wasn't serious though so we're all on our way to the hospital now. How's JJ?" Hotch asked, hoping to get good news.

"The doctor said he doesn't know if she'll wake up or not. She's also on a machine to breathe…its bad Hotch. I know we said she's strong, but I don't know about this. It just seems so…hopeless." Reid sighed, looking down at his feet.

"Don't say that Reid, JJ will get through this." Hotch said, "We'll be there soon." He hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket, carefully.

"Get through what?" Will asked, looking over from the passenger seat to Hotch, who was in the driver's seat. Henry was in the back, sleeping and Emily and Rossi were following them in another car.

"The doctors said they don't know if JJ will wake up…and she's on a breathing machine right now." Hotch said, keeping his eyes forward on the road. He didn't have the strength to look her friend's husband in the eyes right now.

Will gulped and ran his fingers through his hair. "I shouldn't have let her go. I should have come, I knew she was going to handle family stuff and I knew it was gonna be hard for her to handle, but I just let her go. She needed me and I wasn't there."

"Will."

"If I had been there I could have protected her. I mean, that's what marriage is about right? Protecting the person you love and I wasn't there for her like I should have been. I could have prevented this, but I was so angry at her and now…she might die?"

"WILL. She won't leave you, okay? She _will_ wake up and she won't blame you for anything. I think you and I both know that JJ would have gone to Sean's house alone even if you were there. It was hard for her and she wanted to be alone. That's something even you couldn't have helped." Hotch said, "Don't blame yourself; just focus on hoping and praying that she'll wake up."


	11. Forever and Always

The next morning JJ still hadn't woken up and the uneasiness was bearing down on everyone. Emily was trying hard to sleep, but all she could think about was JJ and if she was gonna wake up or not. Garcia was sitting on a couch, leaning against Morgan. He was rubbing her back as she stared blankly at the wall. Hotch was pacing the waiting room and his expression was rock hard which probably meant that he was trying hard to conceal his emotions from the team. Will was sitting in chair, he was bent over and his face was in his hands. He wasn't crying; he just couldn't believe this was happening. JJ's mom was leaning against her dad and they were both staring off in the distance with blank expressions on their faces, undoubtedly thinking about their daughter. Rossi was trying to keep Henry occupied while Reid sat in his own chair. He wiped a tear off his face, not caring if anyone saw him crying. He just wished it had been him who had gotten hurt and not her. JJ didn't deserve any of this. The complete silence of the waiting room was broken when a man burst through the doors, he was wearing a black jacket and khaki pants. He looked to be in his early thirties, more than a couple years older than JJ. His eyes were a bright piercing blue and his hair was a dirty blonde color. He looked out of breath as he looked around the waiting room and when Will looked up at the man and recognized him he stood up.

"You came." Will said, looking at him. "How did you-"

"The hospital called me and I was on the first flight out here. Literally."

"Who is that?" Emily asked her team, leaning forward in a whisper while Will and the man conversed in the doorway a few feet away.

Reid looked at Emily. "That's Travis Jureau, JJ's older brother." He clarified and as she looked up at him again she noticed the resemblance, mostly in their eyes. He knew she had a brother, but he'd never come to visit...or maybe he had...JJ was always secretive about her family.

Travis walked towards the team and looked at them, "I'm sorry I don't think I've met any of you, but I'm JJ's brother, Travis." He smiled a little bit, "It's weird, but by all the things she's told me about you guys I feel like I already know you."

"It's nice to meet you Travis." Emily said, sitting up. "I'm Emily Prentiss and this is Dr. Spencer Reid, SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA Derek Morgan, SSA David Rossi and Penelope Garcia." She pointed to each of the team members while saying their names.

Travis nodded and sat down. He would get more aqainted with them later, for now he just wanted to pray for his other baby sister. He had lost one, but hell would freeze over before he let something happen to JJ.

Will sat back down in his spot, noticing Henry sleeping in the chair next to him. He put a blanket over his son, carefully and then sat down in his own chair.

A doctor came around the corner, a clipboard in his hand. Will immediately jumped up, "Is she-?"

"Not yet, but this morning when we scanned her brain there was a sign of brain activity which is a good sign. That means she has a better chance of waking up." The doctor said, hoping it would make them feel better.

Will plopped back down into his seat and stared at the ground. He glanced back at his son and couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she didn't wake up at all.

The doctor nodded, "I'm sorry. I'll try and come back with good news next time." He turned around and walked away.

"Thank you." Reid said, solemnly to the doctor. He gulped and looked around the waiting room at other people who were waiting for their loved ones to get out of surgery. He felt bad for them because he knew that at least two or three of them would get bad news. Shaking his head, he looked back down at the ground not wanting to think about that anymore.

Will stood up again, "I'm gonna go see her." He said, walking out of the waiting room and over to the elevator. He went up to the third floor and stopped just before her door. He stared at the handle, trying to decide if he should go in or not. He let out a shaky sigh and opened the door, walking inside. JJ was still hooked up to the breathing machine, a tube attached her mouth to a large machine next to her bed. Her right hand was in a cast, obviously broken and her stomach was wrapped up tightly. Will gulped hard, staring at her bed. She looked so calm and serene, but he knew it was much more complicated than that. He wanted to talk to her and he wasn't sure that she would be able to hear him, but it didn't matter to him as long as there was even the slightest possibility that she might be able to hear him, he would talk to her.

"Hey JJ." Will said, sitting down. His voice was gentle and gloomy. "Even with that tube attached to you you're still…gorgeous." He laughed, half-heartedly and moved a stray peice of her hair out of her face with a gentle touch. "Last night when I was putting Henry to sleep he asked me to read Little Baby Star to him, but…I couldn't because I knew that I wouldn't be able to read it like you do." Will told her, taking her hand in his. He rubbed his thumb against her wedding ring. "I love you…so much Jennifer." He looked at the ground for a second. "Please…don't leave me." Will kissed her hand gently. "Sometimes I think about what we'll do when we get old and we stop living the dangerous lives. I like to imagine that we'll have a house somewhere on the beach, nothing too big or expensive though. We'll be able to sit on the back porch and watch the waves roll onto the shore. Henry will turn out to be a huge medical success, a Neuro-Surgeon and he'll bring his kids to our house and we'll buy them whatever their little heart's desire. Every couple weeks we'll go eat dinner with your team as a way to keep up with everyone. We'll play bingo every week with some friends and eventually our joints will go bad. I'll break my hip, but I promise that no matter what happens, if I break every bone in body or if I start to lose my memory or even if, god forbid, I go bald…I will _never_ stop loving you. Even if you stop loving me, I will love you with all my heart and all of my soul. Jennifer Jureau, _please_…wake up so I can love you and we can live the rest of our lives together." Will stared at her and then looked out the window, sending up a silent prayer for his wife.

* * *

Another couple hours passed before Hotch decided to go up to visit JJ in her room. He walked in and looked over at her, still, lifeless body. Seeing her vulnerable like this it made him see her in a whole different way. Usually she was tough, passionate and determined, but now she looked innocent and feeble. Hotch sat down in the chair next to her bed and stared out the window for a second. He wanted to talk to her, but he couldn't think of anything to say. He just decided to pray for her instead. He took her hand and bowed his head, sending up prayers to whoever was listening. He touched his forehead to her hand, just waiting for it to move. Just one move and all his sorrow and pain would be washed away with relief and joy, but it was just agonizingly still. He shook his head, not being able to take it anymore. By hoping that she would wake up, he was just setting himself up to be in much more pain if she didn't. He decided to go back down to the waiting room where he could console his team and make sure they were prepared for the worst. Just as he stood up and was about to let go of her hand, he felt a slight squeeze. Hotch's heart skipped a beat, watching her. "JJ?" he asked, but she didn't respond and for a moment Hotch thought it was all in his head until he felt her hand move again. Hotch made sure to squeeze her hand to let her know he was still her. "JJ, can you open your eyes?" he bit his lip, but there was still no response. "Let me go get the doctors." He told her, starting to walk away, but she squeezed his hand. She didn't want him to leave her alone. "DOCTOR!" Hotch called from the room and a doctor rushed in. "She moved her hand." He told him.

The doctor nodded quickly, looking at her. He pulled out his stethoscope and listened to her heartbeat. "Hold on, I'll reduce her sedation and if she wakes up…that means she's lucid, in pain, but lucid." The doctor adjusted her IV and detached her from the bag of sedation fluids that were keeping her in a groggy state. He also took the tube that was attached to the breathing machine out of her mouth. She was now breathing on her own and that was also a good sign. Hotch watched her, still making sure to hold her hand. 5 agonizing minutes went by and nothing happened, until finally her eyes started to come open. She was looking straight at Hotch with clouded blue eyes, but it was more like she was looking through him. She seemed out of it and unfocused, "JJ?" The doctor asked and she tilted her head towards him. "Can you lift your hand?" He asked her and after a few seconds she lifted up the hand that was in a cast. It was shaking slightly, even after 3 days she was still shaken up from the attack. "I know this is a lot and you don't have to if you don't want to, but can you speak for me?" JJ just stared at him with a blank expression on her face. The doctor just nodded to her and then walked over towards Hotch, "Try and get her to talk. It'd be good for her. Medically and…emotionally." He said in a low voice, so JJ couldn't hear and then he walked out.

"Your family is safe JJ." Hotch told her, "Raisman shot Prentiss, but it was just a through and through and she's gonna be fine." He nodded, deciding not to say that Raisman had escaped just yet. "Will's downstairs waiting for you. I can go get him if you want."

JJ shook her head with small movements. She just wanted for him to stay right now, no big commotion.

"Not yet? Okay." Hotch said, "The whole team was so worried about you, especially Reid. We all slept in the waiting room, I don't know what we would have done if you didn't…" his voice trailed off and JJ squeezed his hand, reassuringly. "How are you?" he asked her, staring at her. He thought that that question would make her want to talk, but instead she turned away and stared out the window. "I'm sorry. I was just…trying to figure out what really...happened."

JJ just kept her gaze staring out the window.

Hotch bit his lip and looked down for a second. "I'm sorry this had to happen to you, JJ." He sighed, "I wish it could have been me."

JJ turned to look at him again, but there was something different about her stare this time. It felt more real, like she had actually hear what he had said and had appreciated it.

Hotch nodded and glanced back at the door. Through the small window he saw everyone standing outside, waiting. "I'll go get Will, okay?" He stood up and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

"How is she?" Will asked, staring into her room through the door's small window.

"She's awake, but she won't talk…to me anyway, maybe she'll talk to you." Hotch sighed, "At least she's awake though. That's a good thing."

Will nodded, pushing the door open. As he did it, he saw JJ jump and he bit his lip. "Sorry." He said, shutting it quietly. He walked over to her bed and sat down.

JJ didn't say anything still, she just stared at her husband as if she didn't even know him at all.

Will took her hand and decided to just start talking to her, to comfort her and make her feel more at home and safe.

After an hour of him talking and asking her questions, she still didn't say a word. She just looked sad and like she wasn't even the same person anymore. He got up, telling her goodbye and walked out. He walked up to everyone, "She still isn't talking, not even to me. I don't understand why…"

"Sometimes after a trauma patients can develop PTSD; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It can affect them in a number of ways, one of them being not being able to comprehend what has happened and get over it. The patient will be antisocial and keep re-living their trauma over and over again. In some cases…it becomes permanent and leads to psychological illnesses." Reid stated, gulping.

"No. That's not going to happen to her. She'll get through this, I know it." Will told Reid, seriously.

Reid nodded, "I'm gonna go talk to her." He shrugged, "It'll help for her to see more familiar faces." He walked into the room and sat down, but she didn't even look at him. She was staring out the window again.

"Hey JJ." Reid stared at her.

JJ still didn't turn her head.

"You really beat the odds JJ and frankly we're all glad you did. This team wouldn't work without you. You are the team and I can't even imagine losing you. We all love you JJ and we're all waiting for you to get better because we need you. We really do." Reid told her, pleadingly.

JJ turned to look at him, but still said nothing.

"I know how you feel. After I was taken and tortured by Tobias Hankel I didn't want to talk to anyone. I couldn't stop thinking about some of the things he'd said and I kept having these nightmare, but JJ if you talk now and you let us in, we can help you before that happens to you."

JJ stared at him for a couple seconds and then opened her mouth. "I'm sorry." She whispered, a fear streaming down her face.

Reid looked surprised for a moment. He hadn't expected her to open up that quickly. It also surprised him to see her cry, the only other time he'd seen JJ break before was at Hotch's wife's funeral. "No, don't be. I'm sorry…you and I…we're like family, but I feel like I haven't been doing my part. You've always cared about me and looked after me, but I haven't done the same for you and it's not right, so I'm sorry."

JJ reached up and touched her hand to his. "Hey…" she started, "It's okay Spence." Her voice was still a quiet whisper, but it felt good to be talking to him.

When she called him Spence, he just smiled. "I can't even tell you how comforting it is to hear someone call me Spence." He chuckled.

JJ smiled a little bit, "Hey can you get Will?" she asked. "I think I wanna talk to him now." Before when he had come in, she was still groggy and she couldn't tell if everything was a dream...or if was reality. She just didn't feel safe, but now she wanted to see her husband again.

Reid nodded, "Sure of course. I'll be right back." He grinned.

When Reid left to go get Will, JJ closed her eyes and leaned back. She was happy to be alive, but finding out those things about her sister and how she lived made JJ sort of disheartened. She couldn't stop feeling like her sister's death was her fault and she knew eventually she would have to talk about what happened to someone and she wasn't sure she was prepared for that.

A few minutes later, Will burst through the door looking winded. Their eyes met and Will looked totally and completely relieved. "Jennifer…" He walked up to her bed and stood by her side. He took her hand, "JJ…I-I…" he didn't have any words to describe how he felt. He used his free hand to wipe a tear off his face.

JJ smiled up at him, sniffling.

"I love you…so much. You mean everything to me…" Will told her, rubbing her hand gently. "Without you…I couldn't live."

"I love you too…" JJ whispered back and he leaned down and kissed her gently. She moved over in the bed, wincing slightly and he climbed into the bed, pulling her into his arms. He was so glad she was safe that he would never let her go. She leaned against his chest, finally feeling safe and instead of being upset about her sister, she was just happy to be back with her husband.

Will closed his eyes for a few minutes, soaking in the happiness before he turned to look at his wife. "How are…I mean- are you okay?" He looked over her injuries, he could see a few stitches on her face and her stomach was definitely wrapped. She had a black eye, her right hand had a cast on it and there was a pillow under her left thigh, elevating her stabbed leg. He couldn't help but be worried about her.

"I'm fine." JJ told him. It hurt, but the worst thing was thinking about her sister and about everything that had just happened.

"You know JJ; you don't always have to be so strong. We all know what you've been through and sometimes it's okay to be vulnerable." Will told her. "It's just me here." He smiled a little bit.

"I just…don't want to talk about it right now. I…really want to get out of here. "JJ said, smiling back at him. Her voice was still soft.

"Don't worry we will and I promise I'll never let anyone ever hurt you again." Will told her, "I will protect you, always." He took her hand and squeezed it gently before touching his forehead to hers.


	12. Visiting Hours

For a couple hours JJ was asleep on her husband, but soon she woke up to him getting up. "Everyone wants to see you." He smiled, "Love you." He kissed her quickly, "Good luck." He nodded to her and walked out of the room. Her parents were the first to come in. Her dad immediatley rushed to her side and touched his hand gently to her cheek.

"JJ..." Tears filled her dad's eyes. It was the first time she'd ever seen her dad cry before, he was usually so composed and strong. That was probably where she got that trait from. He leaned down and hugged her tight. "I'm so glad you're safe."

JJ smiled slightly, wrapping her free arm around him. "I love you dad." She whispered in his ear and he nodded, pulling away.

"I love you too." He replied, sniffing.

JJ turned to her mom, who started talking. "We're so sorry this happened to you. We couldn't even bear the thought of losing you and Sarah both."

JJ's face hardened when she remembered what Sean had said:

"_When Sarah "committed suicide" your parents weren't as devastated as they would have been if you had gotten hurt, were they?_ _God forbid you fracture your wrist in soccer practice and they rush you to the hospital, but when Sarah died your mother didn't even call an ambulance. If she had, she would have known that Sarah could have been revived_. _Even when your brother was hurt, they never felt the urgency that they did with their precious little girl; the youngest of three._"

_"It was like they…expected it from her." JJ whispered to herself, trying to ignore the stinging cut on her face. _

She blinked and then looked at her parents, she had to ask them now or she never would. "W-why weren't you surprised when Sarah "committed suicide"?" JJ questioned, looked back and forth at them. As a profiler she recognized the crease of worry on her mother's face. She had been hoping that JJ would never ask about that, it was obviously a sensitive subject.

"What are you talking about?" Her mom asked, tilting her head. She was lying straight to JJ's face and the bad thing was that JJ knew it.

"You expected it from her." JJ said softly, looking hurt.

"Sure, she was a more of a…_troubled_ child, but we never expected she would go that far." Her mom told her, shrugging.

"A _troubled _child?"

"No, it's not like that JJ. She was just more wild and reckless than you were, sweetie." JJ's mom said and her dad just stood there, looking as shocked as JJ was.

"Why didn't you call the ambulance after you found her? She wasn't dead!" JJ demanded, glaring at her.

"Yes, she was dear. She wasn't breathing and there was nothing I could, but I did call the police." Her mom answered, "It would have been too late when the paramedics came."

"That's what Reid thought when he found me, but I'm still here." JJ retorted.

"That was different than this." Her mom said, "What are you looking for here, JJ?"

"So was I really your favorite?"

"I wouldn't say favorite, but…"

"Get out." JJ didn't look at her mom. She couldn't believe that her mom actually felt that way. All those times JJ told herself that it wasn't her family's fault that Sarah died…it really was. Her mom had favored her and her sister had known. It was their fault that Sean had decided to kill her.

"What…why?" Her mom looked hurt.

"Get. Out." JJ repeated, forcefully. "Now."

Her mom bit her lip and walked out towards the door, leaving her dad and JJ alone.

"I had no idea…" Her dad told her, his Adam's apple bobbing when he gulped.

"Neither did I." JJ sighed, shakily. She let out a frustrated sigh and closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head.

"Do you…need anything?" Her dad asked, changing the subject just as quickly as it had been brought up.

"No, but you can send in the next people to see me…I'm ready." JJ said, quietly.

"Okay, I love you JJ. Remember that." Her dad smiled a little and then walked out. They were both trying to pretend that the conversation they had just had didn't happen.

* * *

A few minutes after her dad left the room the door swung open and JJ looked up and smiled. "Travis! You came!" She exclaimed, surprised. She hadn't seen her brother in years because both of them had always been to busy to visit each other.

"JJ...I would never make you go through this alone. I mean, sure our parents are here, but really what good are they?" Travis chuckled, lightly. He had always been a jokester.

JJ nodded, "No good at all." She said, agreeing with him.

"Speaking of that...why did I see mom outside...crying?" Travis asked her, tilting his head. She sighed and looked at the ceiling for a second, really not wanting to answer. "JJ...just tell me." He said to her, raising his eyebrows.

"Did you know that when mom and dad found Sarah they didn't even call an ambulance. Sean said that if she had, Sarah could have been revived, but they didn't even call. He said I was the favorite and that our parents thought less of Sarah so they weren't surprised when she killed herself. I just can't believe it..." JJ felt tears threatening to fall out of her eyes once again.

Travis sat still for a couple seconds and JJ thought he was going to agree with her, but he just shook his head. "JJ...that day was..." He stopped and decided to start over, "Mom did things she's not proud of, we all did, we each handled it a different way. Dad coped by writing...writing was a hobby for him, but after she died...he started to write all the time about your life, her life...our lives and mom coped by just crying all the time. I distanced myself, I didn't talk for a couple weeks and trust me...that's a record. It was hard on me. And you...I don't think you ever handled it, you just kept pushing it away and now...it's catching up with you. You're trying to blame this on someone, but you know that's not the right thing to do. Just let mom off the hook so that we can come together and...handle this." He told her, they locked eyes for a couple moments until she spoke.

"You're right...I know you are." JJ said, "I just don't _want _to handle this."

"She loved you so much, Jen." Travis told her, taking his sister's hand. "And I think it's time that you realize that."

JJ smiled at him. "I love you, Travis."

"I love you too, Jen." Travis smirked, "I am really impressed on how strong you're being through this whole thing, actually."

"Well," JJ started shrugging, "I've always been stronger than you anyway." She laughed lightly.

Travis paused, about to make a comeback but then shook his head. "I would argue, but we both know that I wouldn't win. Do you remember that time you fell during a soccer game, got a minor concussion and just kept playing. It was like you were invicible or something. And then like a year after that I broke my finger and I cried." He shook his head, smirking.

"Well...in your defense, that finger was bent backwards...mine was just a minor concussion." JJ smiled at him.

"Thanks, but I'm pretty sure a concussion is worse." Travis rubbed her hand gently.

JJ smiled, "So where's Angela and the kids?" She asked, referring to Travis' wife and their kids. He had two, a girl and a boy. The girl's name was Hailey Jureau and the boy was Ben Jureau, JJ remembered visiting them a couple years back. They were completely adorable.

"They couldn't come. Hailey and Ben have school, they would be here if they could though. They love their Aunt JJ." Travis grinned, "Speaking of that...Angela is 8 and a half months pregnant with a baby girl."

"Really? Travis! Congratulations!" JJ smiled and hugged him, "Why didn't you tell me now I have less time to go shopping for cute little dresses for her."

"I was meaning to, it just kept slipping my mind." Travis shrugged.

"I know the feeling." JJ smiled at him.

"What...you aren't...?" Travis asked her, glancing at her stomach.

"No...no...Will and I got married." JJ held up her hand and showed him the ring that Will had gotten her.

Travis smiled, "I missed it? Darn, now when am I supposed to have the man to man talk with Will."

"Don't worry Dad took care of it, Travis." JJ rolled her eyes at her brother.

"But was he as intimidating as I was plainning to be? I would have scared Will so bad that he would never hurt you." Travis smiled, "I'm sure you can take care of yourself though, but you're my babysister and I'm in charge of scaring all the boys away."

JJ smiled, "Okay...sure. Anyway, have you guys thought of any names yet?" JJ asked, changing the subject back to Travis.

"We already picked one. Elizabeth _Sarah_ Jureau." Travis smiled, brightly. He was obviously proud of the choice they had made.

JJ smiled brightly. "That sounds perfect."

"Did I ever tell you what Hailey's full name is?" Travis asked her.

JJ shook her head, "Nope."

"Hailey Jennifer Jureau." Travis told JJ, grinning.

"Travis..." JJ shook her head, "Thank you...so much. For everything."

"I love you so much Jen and I sware I will never let anything happen to you as long as I'm alive, okay?" Travis squeezed her hand and she just sat up and hugged him tight, getting the message.

"I love you too." JJ told her brother and they sat there for a few seconds, in each other's embrace.

"Well...I guess I'll send in the next group. You have quite a fan club, JJ. That one kid...the genius one...he's cares a lot about you." Travis chuckled and stood up. "Bye JJ, love you."

"Love you too." JJ told him just as he walked out the door. She felt a lot better after having that talk with her brother, he was really the only person that really understood her and could break through the walls she put up. She wished that they could visit each other more often and have heart to heart talks.

* * *

Reid and Garcia came in next, standing on either side of her bed. They both had an awkward presence because after seeing her wounded, dying, in a coma, and just altogether vulnerable they were awe-struck by the fact that she was actually back to normal. Neither of them knew what to say.

"Hey." Reid said, smiling. "Again."

"Hey." JJ replied to him.

"I love you." Garcia blurted out, randomly.

JJ turned to look at her and raised her eyebrow, smirking a little bit.

"Don't look at me like that, Jennifer Jureau." Garcia protested, "I love you and I'm so sorry about all of this...If I could have switched places I would have done it without thinking." She said, her eyes swimming slightly. "We all would have."

"I know." JJ whispered to her, nodding. She remembered Reid saying something similar a couple hours earlier. It was nice to think that they were all there for her, just like her real family had been.

"When you didn't wake up I thought you were going to-"

"Penelope." JJ cut in, firmly. "It's not your fault. Sean was a psycho and I'm not dead, so it's all going to be fine." She said bluntly, adding that part softly.

Garcia wiped her eyes. "The least you could do is say it back." She said, laughing weakly.

"I love you too." JJ said, "And you too Spence." She turned to look at him.

Reid chuckled at a loss for words, he was just so glad that she was awake and talking now.

"Okay, okay. We'll send the next group in." Garcia said, walking towards the door and taking Reid with her who didn't look like he was ready to leave yet, but they had to give Emily, Rossi and Morgan a turn. They all walked in, smiling.

"Hey." JJ said, looking over at them.

"Hey JJ, how're you feeling?" Rossi asked her, smiling.

"Better, it's nice having all you guys here. It really makes this all bearable." JJ smirked, rolling her eyes.

"Bearable?" Emily asked her.

"Yea, I'm literally starving; I haven't eaten solid food in three days. Do you know what that's like?" JJ asked them, sighing.

"I'll go see what I can do." Rossi said, chuckling. He walked out the door to go talk to some doctors about food arrangements for her.

Emily smiled, "Will really seems happy though, when he found out you were awake I don't even think he waited for the elevator. He ran up three flights of stairs to get up here. It was really chivalrous of him to do that." She laughed, lightly.

Morgan smirked, nodding.

"Yea and Morgan was right behind him." Emily teased, laughing. She nudged Morgan, lightly.

"As comforting as that is, I just can't wait to go home." JJ answered softly, half-smiling.

"You are home right?" Morgan asked, confused by what she said.

"Quantico. I can't wait to get back home in Quantico." JJ explained to him.

"Well I think it might be a while. I mean, aren't you in pain?" Emily asked thinking that she seemed very oblivious to all her injuries.

"I'm pretty sure I'm on drugs, Emily." JJ replied, smirking. "My hand hurts the most I would have to say." She said, glancing over at the cast on her hand. It was throbbing so violently that she thought the cast might be too small to hold it.

"I bet," Morgan said, "when the doctors looked at your hand they said that with as much force it took break your hand you had to have given Sean a concussion from the punch." He laughed.

JJ's expression darkened when he mentioned Sean, "Yea…" she said, "I think I'm gonna get some sleep now though." She told them, leaning back.

"Okay we'll talk to you later. We love you JJ." Emily smiled at her and started to walk towards the door.

JJ smiled back at them. "Love you guys too." She layed back after they left and fell asleep quickly. It had been a long, exhausting day for her and she was ready to drift off into sleep.


	13. Interviews or Interrogation?

After a week, JJ was cleared to fly, but the doctors told her she had to take it easy. She couldn't get back into the field just yet because she had a limp from the wound on her leg and her hand was still in a cast. When they all got back to the BAU they would all be interviewed about what happened over the time they had been in Pennsylvania. If any of her team mates said the wrong thing JJ could get fired because obviously she didn't follow protocol. She put her whole team, her husband and her son in danger. Hotch had done the same thing when his ex-wife was murdered and they would be interviewed by Strauss again, just like they had with Hotch, but this time it would be about JJ's actions and decisions. JJ was definitely nervous because if Strauss mentioned her sister, it might set her off and that wouldn't be good in regards to her job. It would definitely make her look unprofessional. Will had packed up JJ's stuff from her hotel and he was back with Henry, helping JJ out of her bed. Her stomach was still wrapped in bandages and she had her arm in a sling to hold up the cast wrapped around her hand. Her leg was especially tender when she put pressure on it, so she had to limp and would start using crutches when they got back to Virginia by doctor's orders to keep her weight off of it. JJ smiled and took her sons hand while Will put his arm around her to help her along, she wasn't having too much trouble but she was glad Will was there to help to speed things up. The team was already on the plane, waiting for them to board. They drove down to the airport where the jet was and JJ got on with Will and Henry.

"Hey guys." JJ said, sitting on the couch with her husband and son. The pilot shut the door on the plane and started it up.

"Hey JJ, how're you feeling?" Morgan asked, smiling. He had a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Nervous." JJ said, rubbing her hands together.

"Why? Because of the interviews?" Emily asked, tilting her head.

"Yea. I just hate that condescending tone that Strauss uses. It just really rubs me the wrong way, you know?" JJ sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I know what you mean, but it's going to be fine." Emily told her, "Don't worry about it."

JJ nodded, but she didn't know if she was prepared for the questions Strauss would ask. She reached to her neck and touched her necklace, gently. It was really the only thing that could comfort her right now.

The flight was short; they were only in the air for 45 minutes before they landed in Quantico. Everyone got off the plane and walked back into the BAU. JJ kissed her husband in front of the doorway, "I have to go take care of some stuff before the interviews, but I'll see you later."

"Need help?" Will asked, not really wanting to leave her alone just yet. He felt like the last time they had parted JJ had been hurt and he really just wanted to make sure she was safe now.

"No, I can manage." JJ bent down tenderly, to be at eye level with her son. She took both of his small hands in hers, smiling.

"Where are you going, mama?" Henry asked her, tilting his head.

"I have to do some work, but I'll see you later I promise." JJ told Henry, a little hesitant to leave her son, but she did need to take care of some stuff; alone.

Henry looked at the ground, sort of disappointed.

"Hey." JJ put her hand under his chin and lifted his head to look back up at her. "I love you." She smiled a little bit.

"I love you too mommy." Henry told his mom, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Come here." JJ pulled her son into a tight hug and held him close. She never wanted to let go, he was her baby and she had almost gotten him killed. After a minute or two, she pulled away from him and stood back up. "See you at home." She smiled and Will nodded, lifted Henry up and walked out of the BAU. JJ looked around; she saw Emily and Morgan in the kitchen laughing and getting coffee. She also saw Hotch in his office talking to Strauss, which was a little unsettling for her. She didn't know what they were talking about and she didn't want to find out. JJ also saw Rossi sitting in his office on the phone with someone, JJ didn't know who. She let out a sigh; the whole situation was weighing down on her. She didn't feel like herself, she felt discouraged and lost. She knew how her sister had died, but it still didn't make the feeling she had in her stomach go away. Just doing this case had brought back all the feelings she had felt back when she was 11. JJ walked up the couple stairs and across the cat-walk to her office. When she walked inside her office she saw her sister's case file on her desk and she picked it up and set it in a box that was labeled "Closed". She sat down in her chair, deep in thought. JJ lifted her hands to the back of her neck and started to undo the necklace around her neck. She pulled it off and just held it in her hand, staring at it. She remembered always wanting to be just like her big sister. She wanted her hair, her friends, and her clothes, including this necklace. Now it was just a reminder of her sister, but the reason it always comforted her was because this was the one thing that had belonged to Sarah that didn't remind JJ of her death, it reminded her more about the good things that had happened while she lived.

Hotch knocked on JJ's door and opened it without her saying anything. "Strauss got everything ready. We're starting in 10 minutes."

JJ let out a shaky sigh, "Am I…first?" she asked, gulping.

"No. You're last." Hotch told her, walking over to her and helping her out of her chair.

"Figures." JJ said and when he helped her up, she gave him an anxious smile. "Thanks." She paused to put her necklace back on then looked back at him. "Who is first then?"

"Morgan." Hotch sighed.

"When are you up?"

"Third." Hotch looked at her. "Don't worry. This is all gonna be fine, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Thanks Hotch, you've been a big help through this whole thing." JJ paused and looked at him. "I've always wanted to tell you this; when I first joined this team…I really wanted to be like you; in charge, successful and always having the right thing to say. I really looked up to you and…I still do."

Hotch looked honored. That had really hit home to him, "That means a lot to me JJ, but even before you met me you had all those traits and even more. If I had to pick someone that I really respect and want to be more like, it would be you. You're passionate about every single case we do no matter what and you never judge people, ever. And you manage to do all this and still be composed enough and strong enough to hold the team together.. It's remarkable and I wish I could be more like that." He held the door open for her.

JJ blushed, modestly. She didn't think people actually noticed what she did and it really felt good to be recognized. She walked out the door and walked against the railing of the cat-walk.

"Why did you join the BAU?" JJ asked Hotch, looking over at him. She'd never heard his story before.

Hotch paused, "When I was just getting out of high school I had my eyes set on being in the law somehow because I...well…I used to see crimes going on in my hometown and there was nothing I could ever do about it."

JJ had a feeling that he was leaving something out, but she didn't ask what.

"I went into law school and became a prosecutor, which was nice but I needed more action. I took a few classes and became part of a SWAT unit and after a year of that I joined the Bureau in Seattle and started working my way up the ladder by teaching classes about negotiation and things like that until Strauss gave me an offer to come here for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. That was when all of you guys came in." Hotch told her, shrugging. "It all happened really fast."

"I know what you mean." JJ started, "I went to college with a major in Mass Communication and Media Studies and a minor in Journalism." She smiled. "I started out as a co-anchor on a Pennsylvania news station, but not long after that I became a field reporter. One day I was in field and I was trying to get leaked information, it was my job, literally and it was on a murder case that the BAU was taking on. I don't think you were in it yet, but Rossi was and he gave me a statement and managed to hold off the rest of the media. A week later the unit solved the murder and flew back to Quantico just as quickly as they had come. I went home curious and decided that I wanted to read Rossi's book. It was so inspiring that I decided to go back to college that year in Georgetown and get my masters Journalism and take a couple classes in Broadcast Journalism. It made me qualified to become a media liaison. I started out with a job for the Pittsburgh Police Department as an intern. I worked my way up the rankings until I got a call that the FBI wanted me to be a liaison for the BAU." She smiled, thinking about all the memories.

"I guess neither of us thought we'd end up here." Hotch said, walking down to the area where they'd wait to go in for their turn.

"It's like a dream come true." JJ smiled.

"Got that right."

* * *

"Agent Morgan, please state your name, rank and unit for the records." Strauss said, unfazed. She looked bored, as if she does this sort of thing all the time. She clicked the button that turned on the recorder and nodded for him to start.

"SSA Morgan, the Behavioral Analysis Unit in Quantico, Virginia." Morgan stated, staring straight at her. His stare was solid and full of hatred. He didn't trust her, he never had and he never would.

"Agent Morgan how would you describe the events of this past week?" Strauss asked, sitting down in her chair across from his.

"I'd say they were hectic, but it was for a good cause." Morgan told Strauss, trying to choose the right words. He knew that there were ways for her to bend what he said into what she wanted to hear.

"What was the "good cause"?" Strauss asked, giving him a bleak stare. She folded her hands on the table and sat up straight.

"To find whoever killed JJ's sister." The moment Morgan said that he knew he shouldn't have. He felt his stomach twist into a knot.

"Are you aware that there were 8 other victims in that case or were you too focused on Sarah Jureau?" Strauss glared at him, looking down at the case file.

"We knew about the other families, but we were trying to work on the most recent victims." Morgan retorted, trying to stay in control of the situation.

"Sarah Jureau's murder was 15 years ago, Agent." Strauss pointed out, shaking her head. She added the word agent with a little bit of fierceness in her voice.

"But her murder was one of the most influential to developing his M.O." Morgan told her, just trying to keep up. He needed to come up with better answers, but she was wording her questions in just the right way that none of his answers would help JJ at all.

"How?"

"She was his first real victim. The others from 15 years ago were sloppy and unorganized, but her murder was so organized that police actually thought she had committed suicide. It was his first success, making it was the most significant kill he had committed." Morgan told her, knowing that this time she wouldn't have anything to say.

"How would you describe Agent Jureau's behavior throughout the case?" Strauss changed the subject, knowing that they had exhausted that subject enough. They had to get to the real stuff now.

"She was definitely shaken up, but she was being strong and clear-minded for all of us."

"Shaken up? Are you saying that she was incapable of making the right decisions?"

"Did you even hear the second half of what I said?" Morgan shook his head. She only picked out what she wanted to hear.

"Answer the question!" Strauss exclaimed, eyes blazing.

"Jennifer Jureau is the most caring, considerate and determined person on this team. One case where she fell off the tracks and that decides her career?"

"We're done here." Strauss turned off the recorder and straightened the papers on her desk.

Morgan stood up and walked out of the room, he glanced at JJ and gave her a small nod as he walked past her, but he really wasn't sure what would happen in the end.

"It's my turn, wish me luck." Emily smiled at JJ. "I got your back." She told her just before she opened the door and JJ really hoped that Emily was right and that everything would turn out okay.

"Agent Prentiss, sit please." Strauss gestured towards the chair.

Emily sat down in the chair, nodding. "Let's get this started." She said, unafraid.

Strauss turned on the recorder, "Name, rank and unit please."

"Supervisory Special Agent Emily Prentiss, Behavioral Analysis Unit." Prentiss said with a little bit of attitude in her voice.

"Okay, Agent Prentiss. Where was your case this past week?"

"East Alleghany, Pennsylvania."

"And what happened when you got there?" Strauss asked her, inquisitively trying to ignore her attitude.

"Agent Morgan and I went to the church to interview suspects, Agent Hotchner, Agent Rossi and Agent Jureau went to go interview the families and investigate their houses. Dr. Reid and our Technical Analyst stayed back at the Police Department to go over evidence." Prentiss explained, sounding bored.

"Did all of you meet up later?"

"Yes, well expect for Agent Jureau. She went to visit someone and we allowed it because it is her hometown."

"During a case? You let her go visit someone while on the job?" Strauss asked, knowing that Prentiss would have no way to avoid the truth in that question.

"Yes, but-" Emily started to say.

"Where did she go?" Strauss cut in, not wanting to hear excuses.

"To visit her old soccer coach, Sean Raisman who was later figured out to be the killer."

"Why didn't Agent Jureau keep her phone on? It says here that it was off when you tried to find it." Strauss said, reading out of the records.

"I wasn't there; you're going to have to ask Agent Jureau what happened." Emily told her, a little bit irritated.

"It seems like that's the answer to everything here. No one really knows what went on except for her. How did you figure out where she was?" Strauss ignored her tone and carried on with the questioning.

"Her phone turned back on and she called, but it turned out to just be Raisman trying to taunt us. JJ-uhhh…Agent Jureau was actually the one who managed to give us the unsub's name even though he was threatening her life." Emily said, defending her friend.

"She was only in that situation because she went off on her own."

"I'm sorry, was that a question?" Emily said, this exact thing had happened during Hotch's interview. Would Strauss ever learn?

"You're done Agent Prentiss, bring me Aaron."


	14. Manipulation Was The Game

Hotch was the next person to walk into the interview room, straightening his tie nervously. This was one of the few times that anyone would see nervousness filling the unit cheif's eyes. Someone was threatening to take away one of his agents and it was up to him to give good answers. The pressure was one and Hotch definintely felt it. "Strauss." He gave her an awkward nod.

"You know the drill." Strauss' face was cold and emotionless as she stared at him. He desperatley tried to profile her and get an edge before questioning started, but all he would tell was that she seemed agnry and annoyed, probably from the two agents she had interviewed earlir. She turned on the recorded and nodded at him.

"SSA Aaron Hotchner, the Behavioral Analysis Unit." Hotch said, calmly. He looked at her, ready for the manipulating questions to come because he knew they would.

"SSA Hotchner, when you found out Agent Jureau's family was in danger, what did you do?"

"We immediately got on a plane to warn her family. It was a dangerous situation, what else were we supposed to do?" Hotch asked, turning the question back on her.

"Did you call SWAT to come and evacuate Agent Jureau's family?"

"It was more efficient to just call Detective LaMontagne and warn him to get out of his house." Hotch explained to her, "It wasn't a threat to large amount of people either, so technically SWAT wasn't necessary at all."

"Who made that decision?"

"I did." Hotch wasn't sure at all if he actually had, but he was the cheif so he would take the fall for all the bad desicions that were made.

"Based on what? Was it because you knew the family personally?"

"No."

"Were you emotionally compromised by Agent Jureau's involvement in the case?" There it was, the start to the long chain of manipulating questions that were to come.

"You make it sound like Agent Jureau chose to be involved in this case. Her sister died, Erin and it's not her fault that someone chose to kill Sarah Jureau. You need to understand that." Hotch said, getting a little hot-headed now. He didn't know why he was so defensive over JJ...he would have done it for anyone on their team, but especially for her...just because she was JJ and she held the team together.

"That's not an answer to my question."

"No, I wasn't emotionally compromised by Agent Jureau's situation."

"Are you aware of the protocol that is supposed to be taken in a situation like this?"

"Yes." Hotch said, sighing. "I am."

"Then why didn't you follow it?"

"We had to help JJ. In the field it's much different then it seems when it's written on a piece of paper." Hotch's eyes drifted up from the papers on the table to glare at her.

Strauss sighed and nodded. "That's enough Agent Hotchner, Agent Rossi is next."

Hotch nodded and stood up, walking out in silence. He had nothing left to say to Strauss before he left. When he walked out his eyes rested on Rossi who was sitting in a chair near the door, sipping out of a coffee mug. "Your turn." Hotch said, "Good luck."

* * *

Rossi wasted no time to walk in the room because he knew how edgy Strauss could get about time. He sat down and made himself comfortable, a smile playing on his lips. "We meet again." He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Name, rank and unit please." Strauss said, ignoring his comment. Once again, as if it were a routine, she turned on the recorder.

Rossi sat forward, "SSA David Rossi, the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit." He looked up at her.

"Agent Rossi, are you close to Jennifer Jureau?"

"Yes. We're like family." Rossi said, "We all are." He added, shrugging as if it were a casual subject.

"Do you think that this case was hard on her?" Strauss asked, inquisitively.

"Yes, I imagine that this case would have been hard on her." Rossi said, staring at her. He couldn't help but wonder where she was going with this topic.

"Do you believe that she should have been working on this case even though she was involved in it?" Now he knew.

"Yes, without her we would have never solved it." Rossi answered, faithfully.

"But she was emotional, making her incapable of making rational decisions."

"Have _you_ ever lost anyone?" Rossi asked her, raising an eyebrow.

Strauss nodded her head. "My mother…I hope you're going somewhere with this Agent Rossi."

"I'm sure that was hard on you, but can you imagine losing someone to suicide and not even knowing that they were depressed at all?" Rossi asked her, "It's devastating. I can see how that could make a family feel like they never even knew them at all."

Strauss sighed, "That still doesn't mean she was capable of working in this state."

"And then to find out that they made a mistake and that she was murdered, that's even worse than suicide. If I had to pick one word to describe Agent Jureau during this past week I would say collected, responsible and dependable. She kept herself composed for the job and never once let her emotions get in the way of her job." Rossi said, passionately. He really believed what he was saying.

Strauss stared at him. "If that was the truth she wouldn't have gone off by herself. She would have stayed with her team to finish the case. That's what got her injured and almost got her family and another agent killed. It was _extremely _irresponsible on her part." She said, eyeing him.

"She was grieving; it wasn't her fault that a man that she trusted turned out to be a killer. It was just an unfortunate coincidence." Rossi countered, trying to stay in the argument.

"That could have been prevented!" Strauss slammed her hand on the table.

Rossi sat back and shook his head, sighing heavily. He realized that none of his opinions would matter; Strauss was contradicting everything he was saying.

"Tell Dr. Reid to come in next, please." Strauss said, simultaneously turning off the recorder.

* * *

Reid looked back at JJ just before he went in the room. She was looking out the window; her blue eyes were big with concern. He knew she was worried about losing her job, but he wouldn't let that happen. He had prevented it with Hotch and he would prevent it with her. Confidence beamed inside of him as he walked into the room.

"Hello Dr. Reid." Strauss said to him, nodding.

Reid just sat down, not saying anything in response to her greeting. He was here to get down to business, nothing was going to get in his way.

"Okay then..." Strauss said, awkwardly when he didn't replay. "Let's get started. Name, rank, and unit please." She told him, glancing down at her papers for a second.

"Dr. Spencer Reid, the Behavioral-"

"Not yet, I have to turn the recorder on first." Strauss told him, eyes cold. When she said this Reid felt his confidence start to fade because he could tell that she was already annoyed with him. She was boss and she had complete control over him.

"Now go." Strauss told him after pressing the record button on the recorder. A red light started to blink and Reid nodded, gulped and started again.

"Um…Dr. Spencer Reid, the Behavioral Analysis Unit." Reid said into the recorder, trying to at least sound more confident than he felt.

"Dr. Reid I understand that you have an eidetic memory?" Strauss asked, staring at him.

"Yes ma'am." Reid responded, calmly.

"Then why don't _you_ tell me what happened. Start from the beginning, who chose who went where?" Strauss asked, even though she already knew the answer. She was trying to build up to the real question.

"Hotch, well Agent Hotchner." Reid said, "He told Emily and Morgan to go to the church, while he, Agent Jureau and Agent Rossi went to observe the victim's houses and families. TA Garcia and I stayed at the station to try and work the case."

"And who told Agent Jureau that she could go off by herself?"

"It's not like she went to go drinking or bar-hopping, she was grieving so she went to go visit a friend of hers. Is that really so bad?" Reid asked, the question rubbed him the wrong way. She was wording it like JJ had done something irresponsible.

"I'm asking the questions here, Dr. Reid."

"Well fine, but if you're going to keep trying to corner me into giving you the answer you want to hear I'm not going to answer at all." Reid retorted, glaring at her.

"What put Agent Jureau in danger? The Angel of Death profile you released says that they are very submissive and don't become violent unless provoked."

"Well she was connected to the reason that her sister was "saved" in the first place so in his mind he probably felt the need to get rid of the thing that had caused her sister to be so annoyed and upset all the time. I don't really know though, I wasn't there." Reid shrugged. "I'd imagine that's what happened."

"So you're saying that because of her connection to the case, she was attacked?"

"If you want to word it like that, then yes." Reid said, staring at her. He saw the blinking red light from the recorder out of the corner of his eye.

"Mmmmhmmm….What put her family in danger?"

"Raisman knew she had caused her sister's so called "misery" and so he figured that her family was just as "miserable" because of her so they had to be saved." Reid told her truthfully. The blinking of the recorder was starting to agitate him.

"So again, her connection to the case put her family in danger too?"

"Ummm….yes…" Reid said, hesitantly. He knew right then that what he was saying would get JJ in trouble. He hadn't realized it until she started talking about connections. He hoped he hadn't said enough to get her fired. He turned his head to look at the recorder's light. It was blinking every three seconds, he couldn't focus.

"Would you describe her as upset or maybe distressed during this case?"

"Towards the beginning, yes but once we started up on it she got more and more determined until she was back to her old, passionate self."

"Interesting, so she _was_ upset during this case?" Strauss asked, cornering him again.

Reid crossed his arms across his chest and gave her a bitter stare. He wasn't going to answer that, she knew what she was doing and he wasn't going to give in that easy. He glanced at the recorder again and fidgeted, still very bothered by the blinking.

"Are you going to answer?"

"No."

"Then I'm assuming that you're trying to keep your friend from losing her job, but are you aware of all the protocol she broke? Sure her sister was killed, but there are still rules you have to follow!" Strauss exclaimed, annoyed by his stubbornness.

Reid shut his eyes, the blinking red light plus her provoking and flat out ignorance about the case just made him infuriated. "Shut up!" He yelled at her, standing up. "You have no right to say that. You don't know what she was going through. She's so innocent and she lost someone really close to her. You're trying to make her seem like a monster, but the only real monster here is you." He walked out, slamming the door behind him and storming past JJ and Hotch. Strauss turned off the recorder and sighed. Would they ever learn?

Strauss opened the door and poked her head out. "Agent Jureau, you're up." She said, looking at JJ.

"Wish me luck." JJ said, giving Hotch an unenthusiastic smile.

"Mind over matter JJ, remember that. Don't let it get to you." Hotch looked at her. "You can do this."

"Agent Jureau!" Strauss called at her, harshly. "We don't have all night!"

JJ through the doorway and glanced at Strauss who was looking down at the case file. She sat down, gently careful not to put too much pressure on her leg.

Strauss didn't look at JJ. She was trying to intimidate her by not looking her in the eyes yet. Even though JJ knew what she was doing she couldn't help being slightly intimidated. "Name, rank and unit." She turned the recorder on and started looking through the file again, trying to seem uninterested.

"Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jureau of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit." JJ said, staring straight at Strauss. She didn't leave anything out, she wanted to sound put together and professional.

"Agent Jureau, you chose this case. Am I correct?" Strauss asked, now looking straight at her with a ruthless stare.

"Yes ma'am." JJ answered, unfazed by her death stare. She sat there, staring straight back at her. If she let herself be intimidated then she would fall apart.

"And what made you choose this case? There are plenty of other cases in the country that could have used our help, yet you picked the one about your family. Why?" Strauss questioned, pacing back and forth. She stopped in place and looked at JJ when she finished the question.

"Well, first of all there were no other units on the case and they had no leads. It also had the most victims."

"Did you finish going through all the case files _before_ you chose this case?"

"Well no, but-"

"There are killings going on Michigan. A serial killer; they named him "The Exterminator" already because he poisons victims with bug-killing gasses in their sleep. There have been 15 victims in that case, but you still picked your sister's case anyway."

"An FBI Agent came and briefed me so I thought the decision was already made."

"Well you thought wrong." Strauss snapped, "Why did you really pick this case?"

"To help the community."

"AGENT JUREAU. Your sister was murdered while you were in the house and you thought she committed suicide. How could you think that? You're supposed to know her! A real sister would know if her own sister was suicidal or not. You never_ really _knew her. All this time thinking she was hiding things from you, you needed clarification."

JJ paused, hurt by her comment. How could she just bring up her sister like that? Did Strauss even have a heart at all? "I-I wanted to help the families and the Police Department."

"DON'T LIE TO ME. You're sister is dead Agent Jureau! She's dead!" Strauss provoked.

"I WANTED ANSWERS! Okay? I needed closure, but it wasn't the only reason I chose this case. I chose it for the other reasons too." JJ said, sighing. She knew she had just lost the fight and so did Strauss.

"Okay, moving on…" Strauss paused, trying to think of more questions. "Why did you go off by yourself while on duty?"

"I just needed like an hour to visit a "friend" and catch up? Is that a crime?" JJ asked, getting angry at Strauss. The things she had said about her sister were really making her mad. Strauss had no right to take this interview to that level.

"No, but it's against protocol. Why was your phone off?" Strauss asked her.

"Like I said, I was only gonna be gone for an hour, so I just turned it off and left it in the car because it was dying and I wanted to save the battery for later." JJ explained, giving her a fierce look.

"Also against protocol. What did you do when you found out Raisman was the unsub?"

"I tried to be discreet and say I had a Press Conference, but he knew. When I stood up he grabbed me from behind and we fought. He was bigger than me though and tied me up, that's when he called Hotch and took me to the warehouse." JJ sighed, not really wanting to talk about this.

"Are you aware that because of you, your family and another FBI Agent were put in danger?" Strauss asked, glowering at her.

"Yes I am…I didn't mean to do any of that, how was I supposed to prevent it?" JJ snapped back at her.

"FOLLOW PROTOCOL!" Strauss yelled.

JJ ignored her yelling. "Next question, please." She said, with a fierce attitude in her voice. Any more yelling and JJ would snap.

"No Agent Jureau. You're done, you can leave." Strauss said, rudely. If the recorder hadn't been on she would have just flat out told JJ to get the hell out of her office, but that could have gotten Strauss into trouble with the board who would be reviewing these tapes later.

"Fine, but let me leave you with this: If you had been me, would you have done anything different? This is my family we're talking about. What if your sister had "committed suicide" and then it turned out to be murder? I guarantee that you would do the same thing." JJ paused and stood up, not taking her eyes off of Strauss."And no matter what I _do _honor my FBI oath and like it says I will _always _well and faithfully discharge the duties of my offices. So help me God." JJ turned around and walked out.


	15. Changed For The Better

JJ walked out of the interview room and saw Hotch and Reid waiting for her. They wanted to know how her session went and she wished she could give them good news, but lying to profilers was almost impossible. "It wasn't good." She glanced down at the ground.

"Hey, she can't fire you. The BAU would fall apart and she knows it." Reid told her nodding, reassuringly. He hoped that at least comforted her a little bit.

"Go home and get some sleep JJ." Hotch told her, "See you tomorrow." He walked towards the door, leaving the two of them alone.

"Need a ride?" Reid asked, smiling.

"Actually yea." JJ said, "Thanks." She didn't want to make Will come back and pick her up if Reid could just give her a ride.

Reid nodded, "Let's get going." He walked to the door and held it open for her. He noticed her trying to hide the limp she had from her leg. She was proud, maybe too proud. "So what happened in your interview?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

"She provoked me and…I did exactly what she wanted. I got angry and started saying all the things that I wasn't supposed too. I shouldn't have let her get to me." JJ looked at the ground, feeling stupid. Her sister's death was one of her weaknesses and she couldn't believe that Strauss had used it against her.

"Oh come on JJ, don't lose sleep about this. It was just a follow up interview. Half of the time they only do it to make sure that nothing like this happens again." Reid smiled, trying to console her. He held up his keys and unlocked his car. It was a cheap, white Volvo that was AT LEAST 5 or 6 years old. JJ noticed that only one of the front headlights flashed when the car unlocked, but she didn't say anything, she just carried on with the conversation.

"The other half of the time someone gets fired." JJ let out a long sigh, "But you're right I should think on the bright side." She forced herself to put a smile on her face and walked over to the passenger's side.

Reid followed her and reached for the door handle. "I got it." He smiled back at her

"I can do it, you know." JJ said, looking at him and crossing her arms over her chest. She hated having people do things for her, but it was happening more and more after they had all seen how vulnerable she was. Sure, most people thought it was chivalrous, but for JJ it was more like degrading her.

"Not with this door." Reid pulled on it, but it was jammed. "Step back."

JJ smirked and stepped back up onto the curb. Now amused by the car that they were about to drive in. Reid's car was just as quirky as he was...it was adorable.

Reid pulled a little bit harder, but nothing happened. He seemed to be pulling as hard as he could, but it didn't budge. "Maybe if I use the inertia of the door...or maybe...I should use Newton's Third Law..." He started mumbling scientific facts to himself for a solution.

"Come on Reid, just use your muscles!" JJ laughed, watching him start to pull on the jammed door again, this time with more force than before.

After a few more desperate tries, the door jerked open and Reid looked back over at her with a dorky smirk. He was panting lightly. "There you go." He grinned

JJ walked over and got in. "Thank you." She pulled the door shut behind her and then put on her seatbelt as Reid got in on the other side. "Reid," JJ started while looking over at him, "I don't think I've ever seen you drive before."

"Did you know that in 2011 about 90 people died everyday just from a fatality involved in cars?" Reid asked, shaking his head. "Driving a car is extremely dangerous. I usually walk or take the subway, anything but drive, but I had to today I had because they called us in for the interviews and I had to get here on time. Subways are safe, but more time-consuming and the closest stop is a mile from here." He smirked.

JJ smirked. "You and your statistics." She chuckled, lightly.

Reid smiled and paused as he started the car. "I'm really glad you're okay, JJ." He said, "And we really need to catch up, what happened? We used to talk all the time, but lately before all this you've been distant."

JJ paused for a second and looked out the window. Her blue eyes were clouded with memories. "Will and I were having some problems because I was never home, but it was mostly because the anniversary of my sister's death was few weeks ago and my family had a memorial service. I couldn't go because I had to work and that just really got to me, I don't know, I was just really upset. I couldn't stop thinking about her and...of what happened to her. Sorry though, I didn't mean to like cut you off...I didn't mean to cut _anyone_ off."

"No I understand completely, it's fine." Reid nodded and backed out of the parking space before driving out of the parking lot. They sat in silence for a couple minutes until they reached a stop light. "Why didn't you tell me about your sister?" He kept his eyes on the road, not having the guts to look her in the eyes right now. Those looks she gave him just made him melt and he was really "I wouldn't have judged you or anything."

"I know, I guess I just thought that if I talked about her then all those feelings I had would come back…" JJ looked at her. "You would have liked her." She smiled, "She was smart like you, but she also had a fun and crazy side to her. She was the life of a party, but still kept a 4.2 GPA." JJ's eyes were swimming slightly. "I just…I know you and I are like siblings, but everyone has that one thing that they just want to keep to themselves. The thing that gives them that feeling…the feeling that no matter who is comforting you, it will never go away." She sniffed. "I'm really sorry, Spence."

Reid immediatley felt terrible for asking in the first place. There was something about seeing the blonde woman cry, maybe it was because she was usually so tough or maybe it was because Reid thought of her like a little sister and he needed to protect her. "No, JJ. I'm sorry." He bit his lip. "I know what you're feeling though. That's how I feel about my mother." He shrugged. "She used to call me a freak when I was little, now I know it was a schizophrenic break, but whenever I think about it…I just feel so…you know."

"I do know, but at least you told me about yours. I honestly don't know why I'm so secretive. I guess that I'm just so scared that once you guys find out those things about me you'll think about me differently." JJ sighed, "I really need to stop thinking that."

"I'm sorry about your sister, JJ." Reid sighed, "I'm sorry that this whole thing had to happen at all." He would have given her a comforting look and held her hand if he wasn't driving.

"It wasn't your fault, Spence." JJ smiled and wiped a tear off her face. "There's a reason for everything that happens. I think my sister's death was part of the reason that I joined the FBI. I wanted to help people so that they wouldn't have the feeling that I had when I thought about her. They would have closure."

Reid smiled and nodded. He pulled into the driveway of the hotel they were staying at; they didn't want to go back into the house just yet and he didn't blame them. He got out and walked around to the other side, once again prying the door open. It only took a few tries for Reid to pull it open this time.

JJ smiled and got out, looking up at him. "Thanks Spence. I'm glad that even though I lost my sister, I still have a brother to lean on." She stepped forward and hugged him tightly.

Reid smiled and hugged her back. "I'll always be there for you, JJ."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

_JJ found herself in a dark, small room. How she got there, she didn't know. Her hand were tied behind her, but she wasn't tied to anything...they were just tied together. She tried hard not to panic as thoughts rushed through her brain. Had he found her again? Was she about to relive what had happened to her in the warehouse? Sean has been on loose and missing for months now and she was sure that he would came back for her eventually. Had he? Her suspicious were finally adressed when she heard a voice come from the darkness. _

_"Long time no see, Jennifer." She recognized the sneer of the voice. It was him...he had found her again and this time she knew he was determined not to fail. _

_"Where are you?" She was surprised at how feeble she sounded. Fear was taking away the confidence that she usually would have responded with; it was because she knew what he was capable of now and what his intentions were. _

_"I'm right here..." She felt a hand run down her arm and she kept herself from flinching. He could try, but he wouldn't get the satisfaction of her fear. He didn't get it last time and he wouldn't get it this time. She heard what sounded like him standing up. He started walking away from her and she smiled, happy with herself until bright lights flashed on to reveal Sean standing by a light switch and across from her sat Will and Henry tied up in chairs. Will was passed out and he already had a black eye while Henry just cried hysterically...it broke JJ's heart. She felt like they had been roped into this all because of her. _

_"Why did you let this happen again, Jennifer? A mother is someone who is supposed to keep their child safe, but yours has been in the hands of a killer twice in the same year. What does that say about you? I mean, look how scared the little guy looks." Sean ran his fingers through Henry's blonde hair and the 5 year old's eyes grew wide with fear. _

_"Don't touch him!" JJ yelled, angrily. "Stab me, torture me, but please...__**please**__ don't hurt my son. I'll do anything..." She regretted saying that the moment she said it. _

_"Anything, you say?" Sean chuckled, "Would you...kill your own husband?" _

_JJ's eyes darted over to Will to see that he was awake now and had just heard what Sean had said. He paused, meeting JJ's eyes and he nodded as if giving her permission. _

_"I-I...I can't."_

_"Oh, then I guess little Henry's gonna have to go..." Sean pulled a gun out of his jacket pocket and moved it towards Henry. _

_"NO! NO!" JJ screamed, "I will. I will." She told him and he walked over, untied her and handed her a knife._

_"Try to escape or don't do it...and I'll kill him." He held the gun to Henry's head. "You have 30 seconds to say goodbye and then I want it done and over with." Sean untaped Will's mouth so they could say goodbye. _

_"JJ, I love you and you have to do this and then you have to get Henry out of here, okay?" Will told her, frantically. _

_25...24...23...22...21..._

_"Will...I love you so much...I love you and I'm so sorry. I love you." JJ was crying now, she couldn't believe what she was about to do. Her son and her husband were the most important things in her life and she had failed them, or she had failed Will at least and with Henry watching...he would hate her forever. _

_15...14...13...12...11..._

_"Jennifer Jureau. I love you so much and I don't want you to forget about me and I don't want you to let Henry forget about me. I want you to tell him that I died a hero and that his dad was brave." Will's eyes filled with tears as he felt the end grow near. This was the third time JJ had ever seen him cry, the first was when Henry was born, the second was when JJ woke up and now...it was because he was about to be killed...by her._

_5...4...3...2...1..._

_JJ hesitated for a split second, her hands shaking violently. Before she even had the chance to plunge the knife into her husband she heard a shot go off behind her. Will screamed loudly and he buried his face in his hands. JJ closed her eyes, dropped the knife and turned around even though she already knew what she was going to see. The sight was horrifying and she screamed and fell to her knees in front of the chair where her dead son sat._

JJ woke up with a start, her heart was beating violently and she realized that even though she was awake her cheeks were wet with tears. She'd had a nightmare...again. Sean had been the topic of her dreams ever since the case itself and now they were getting worse and worse each time. It had felt so real that she could barely believe it was a dream. She looked around and realized Will had just gone into the bathroom and she let out a sight of relief. He had been worrying about her because he had noticed her frequent nigthmares. How could he not notice? Before she could clean herself up, Will walked out of the bathroom in his boxers. He saw the state JJ was in and immediatley knew that she'd had another nightmare. Instead of asking her to be sure, he just climbed into bed next to her and took her in his arms.

"It wasn't real and I promise everything is gonna be okay." Will rubbed her back as she sunk into him, laying her head on his bare chest. They sat there for a few moments until Will spoke, "What was it about this time?"

"H-he told me that I had to kill you or he would kill Henry." JJ started, tears falling from her eyes as she remembered the dream and how real it had felt. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Will cringe and bite his own lip. "Y-you told me to do it, b-but...I hesitated and...h-he...he...killed him." The image of her son flashed through her mind again and she couldn't even attmept to hold in the tears anymore. Will just rubbed her back gently and tried to console his wife. After a while JJ remembered that she needed to get to work so she pulled away from him...trying to forget the dream altogether. She started to get dressed, putting on a button up white shirt and some black pants.

"Are you okay?" Will asked, standing up.

"I think so...don't worry about me." JJ smiled, "I know it was just a dream, so I'll be okay." Now she was starting to worry about what was going to happen at work. Just as the worst case went through her mind scenario she remembered that her team had her back. They wouldn't let her get fired…would they? She picked up her purse and keys before kissing her husband who was getting ready to wake up Henry to take him to his babysitter. She bit her lip for a brief moment, thinking about Henry again and the dream. It didn't go unnoticed by her husband.

"He's fine I promise." Will told her, knowingly and she just nodded, "Good luck! No matter what happens, I'll still love you." Will smiled at her, playfully. He was immediatley reminded of the conversation he'd had with her when she had been unconcious, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

"Awww how sweet. Love you too." She reached up and ruffled his hair, trying to match his playful mood. She felt a little bit better now, but the dream was still bugging her. She walked out the front door and out to her car. The sky was still dark because it was only 6:00 in the morning. She rubbed her eyes and opened the car door, started it up and backed out the driveway. All the way to the BAU, JJ started thinking about everything that had happened. She just couldn't believe how fast it had all went by, but her hand was still in a cast, she was still on crutches, a scar would be on her stomach forever, and the memories would never go away. That was what scared her most; that she would never be able to move on from what happened. When she pulled into parking lot she let out a shaky sigh and got out of her car. She walked up to the front doors of the BAU with her crutches under her arms and pushed them open, hoping it wouldn't be the last time. The first thing she saw was Reid and Morgan sitting on their desks, unquestionably teasing each other.

"Hey JJ." Morgan waved to her, smiling. She noticed his eyes flash down to her crutches.

"Hey guys." JJ walked up to them and sat down in a chair.

"How're you feeling?" Morgan asked her, taking a sip from his coffee.

"How do you think?" JJ shook her head, "I'm so worried that Strauss is going to…"

"She won't." Reid cut in firmly, "She can't." he added, though he wasn't sure if he was trying to persuade her or himself.

Morgan nodded. "Plus with the answers I gave to those questions, she'd never be able to fire you with a good cause." He grinned at her. He was always lightening the mood with his cocky attitude after all he _was_ Derek Morgan.

JJ smiled, "Thanks." She looked at each of them, grateful that they were making her feel better.

Hotch walked down the stairs of the catwalk and up to where they were standing. "Strauss is ready to see you, JJ." He said, "Don't worry though."

JJ nodded and stood up, walking on her crutches up the ramp to the catwalk and into Strauss' office while Hotch waited outside with Reid and Morgan.

"Hello Agent Jureau. Sit please." Strauss said with no friendliness in her voice. That didn't exactly make JJ nervous because Strauss never really sounded friendly. She was just anxious in general. She sat down in the chair and set her crutches down next to her.

"After reviewing the tapes of the interviews with the board, we came to a decision." Strauss told her, shutting her office's door and sitting down in her chair across from her. "You broke protocol; you put yourself, your team and your family in danger and not to mention you barely even managed to help your team catch the murderer." Strauss shook her head, "But…" JJ's heart lifted, "you have proven yourself to be a good worker and your team member do think highly of you." She sighed, "In the end it all came down to the interviews of your co-workers and the team evaluations they filled out…The evaluations we read talked about good work ethic and you great leadership skills, but the interviews were what made us make our decision. The board and I both decided that we had to…let you go."

"What? Because of the interviews?"

"Yes Agent Jureau and we also came to the conclusion that the BAU could, in fact, function without you here. I'm sorry, but this is active immediately." Strauss told her, straightening the papers on her desk.

JJ stood up, "I…understand." She told Strauss, even though it was a lie. All she wanted to do right now was plead for her job back, but that would take away her pride and she also knew it probably wouldn't work so she picked up her crutches and walked out of the room. She didn't meet the eyes of her co-workers, instead she headed straight into her office.

"No, there's no way. They can't-no…" Reid read her like an open book. He just shook his head, plopping down in his chair. He couldn't believe what was happening.

Hotch shook his head too and walked up to her office. "JJ. You can't leave, not again." He said, walking in. "I won't let this happen."

"It already did." JJ said her voice cracking. She was already starting to fill up a box with things from her office that she needed to take home.

Hotch shook his head and looked at the ground. This was the first time that Hotch had _ever_ not been able to look her in the eyes when he was talking to her. "We can't lose you again. We're a family and we don't work without you here."

JJ limped over to him and looked up into his eyes. "You'll find a way and I don't want you to dwell on it for too long." She bit her lip, "I'm going to miss all of you even more than I did last time, which is hard to beat." She gave him a weak smile.

Hotch stepped forward and pulled her into a hug.

JJ was surprised, Hotch never showed emotions or, god forbid, hugged people. She hugged him back knowing that this moment alone would make her miss him even more. They were each other's motivation and now, how would they survive? Tears formed in her eyes and she sniffed.

After a few seconds Hotch pulled away. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything, helping me with Haley, helping me find compassion, and for just showing me things in myself that I never thought I had. You changed me JJ, you changed all of us. Some say that people come into our lives for a reason and I...didn't used to believe it, but I know I'm who I am right now because…well…because I knew you."


	16. Last Goodbyes

**Sorry this chapter is so short and don't worry, soon things are gonna start picking up again, but I might update slower now because of Christmas and all that.**

* * *

Hotch helped JJ pack up the things in her office. She was grateful for his help because she wasn't sure she could have been able to go through with it by herself. When they were done, they just stood there in silence, staring at each other. JJ blinked a tear out of her eyes and shook her head. "I just can't believe it's all gonna…end."

"This isn't the end… it's a new beginning. We'll keep in touch and I'm sure you'll…get a job somewhere else." It hurt Hotch to even picture her owrking somewhere other than here, where she belonged.

"Not once this gets out! My whole reputation is going to get ruined. I'll have to start over at the bottom again." JJ shook her head, frustratedly. "Maybe I'll just…take some time off."

Hotch nodded in agreement, "You could use some." He looked out of the window in her office, seeing all her co-workers sitting at their desks in silence. "You should go talk to them." He dadded, "I'll take this stuff out to your car."

JJ nodded at him and wiped some tears off her face. She picked up her crutches and started walking down the cat walk towards them. All of them were gathered there, Emily, Reid, Morgan, Garcia and Rossi, waiting for her to come down. In silence, she walked down to them and sat down in a chair. "Strauss and the board have decided to…let me go." JJ announced to them and Garcia shook her head, eyes already swimming.

"Y-you can't leave." Reid took his eyes off the ground to look in her blue eyes. "Not again. I-I could barely handle it last time and now it's happening again. What am I supposed to without you, JJ?"

"Spence…" JJ started, heavily.

"No!" Reid cut in, "She didn't have a good reason to do this. Why would anyone want to fire you of all people? You're so...hard-working and caring, I mean you actually care about everything that you do. They'll never find anyone as good as you." he shook his head.

"They decided that the BAU could function without me and you guys know that too so don't sulk. Keep your heads up, okay?"

Garcia wiped her eyes. "We can't just act like you never existed." She said softly, crossing her arms and looking down.

"You don't have to, but you have to move on. You'll be fine without me, I know you will and if you ever need anything and I mean _anything _just call." JJ said, trying to comfort her teammates. She bit her lip, seeing Reid's blank face. He looked pale and shaken, like he couldn't believe it. JJ stood up and stepped over to him, leaving her crutches by her chair. "Hey…come on Spence. It's okay."

"No it's not." Reid shook his head, sniffing. "How can she do this to us?"

JJ sighed and wrapped her arms around him.

Reid hugged her back, "I'm gonna miss you so much." He told her, softly.

"I'll miss you too," JJ pulled away, "but we'll keep in touch. It's not like I'm moving or anything. I'll still be around when you guys aren't on cases. We can still have girl's night and cooking parties at Rossi's house. I promise I'll still be here."

They all nodded and JJ turned to Rossi and smiled, hugging him now. "Bye JJ. It won't be the same without you." He told her.

She nodded, "Bye Rossi." She replied, voice cracking slightly. Next she turned to Morgan and smiled. "Thanks."

"For what?" Morgan asked her.

"For teaching me how to be badass." JJ laughed lightly even though she was supposed to be sad right now, but with Morgan she was never _not_ laughing.

"Didn't take much teaching." Morgan hugged her. "Bye JJ. I'm gonna miss you so much."

JJ moved on to Emily and immediately hugged her tightly, before pulling away. "We have to keep in touch okay?"

"O-okay." Emily said, shakily. "I'll miss you JJ." She said, biting her lip. This was one of the only times JJ had ever seen Emily this serious, she was usually smiling or telling sarcastic jokes, but now her face was completely blank.

JJ walked over to Garcia, who was crying. "Hey come on…no tears." She told her, not remembering that she had said it before.

"You said that to me…when you almost died and now I'm losing you again." Garcia said, wiping her eyes. "You're amazing, you know that?" she asked.

JJ smirked, tears in her own eyes.

"Someone has to say it. You are amazing JJ."

"You are too." JJ hugged her and closed her eyes.

When they pulled away from each other, JJ walked lightly back over to the chair she had been sitting in making sure to not put weight on her foot. She picked up her crutches and looked at everyone. "I'm going to miss all of you so much, but I guess I have to go now…" she glanced at Strauss who was staring from the catwalk. She walked on her crutches towards the front door, but before she went out she turned around and looked at her former co-workers who were all staring at the ground, shaken up and at her old office. She would miss it all because it had been a huge part of her life and it always would be. This was something she never wanted to forget and it was some people she never wanted lose touch with. As she turned around she knew this wouldn't be the last time she was in this place. Once she healed and got back on her feet she would strive to come back here and pick up where she left off.


	17. The Fire

Three months. It had been three months exactly since JJ had gotten fired from her job at the BAU. That day she left, not hurt or miserable, but determined to try and work her way up the ladder back to the FBI again. Before she did, she decided that it would be the perfect time to go on her trip to California with her husband and son. It had been perfect the water hadn't been cold and it wasn't crowded at all. Henry was surprisingly adventurous because it was his very first trip to the beach and he would never forget it. Once they had gotten back, JJ immediatley applied for a job with the Virginia State Police Department. They called her in for an interview and being herself, she blew them away and they told her there on the spot that she had gotten the job. It took some getting used to, but she was actually starting to adjust to everything and all the people she'd even been in the field a few times. Sure, with the state police they handled less serious things, but it still meant a lot to JJ that she could make a difference with all the small things. Soon enough it had gotten out to all her colleagues that she had worked with the FBI before she had gotten that job and she was immediatley bombarded with questions, what rank was she? What did she do? Had she ever been shot? Had she ever gone undercover? Why had she gotten fired? She tried to answer most of their questions, but they let it go eventually. Ever since being reminded of her job she started to miss all of her old team members just as she had when she had first left so she arranged to have coffee with Hotch the next morning and catch up.

JJ got there before Hotch and picked up her coffee. She was nervous about seeing him, what if they didn't miss her as much as she missed them? What if they have moved on? She shook the thoughts away and sat down at a table, Hotch was just late, it didn't mean anything. A few minutes later she saw him walk in and he didn't even stop by the counter to get coffee he immediatley walked over. As he did, JJ stood up and they hugged eachother fondly, the action becoming more natural between them.

"I'm so glad you asked to do this again." Hotch told her, shaking his head. "We've been so busy that I didn't have time to call, but you caught us on a good day."

JJ smiled, "You guys are busy?" She sat down and he did too, across from her.

"After you left, Strauss brought in a new team member and then piled cases on all of us. I have a stack of case reports on my desk to fill out right as we speak." Hotch sighed, she could the dark circles under his eyes. He was obviously exhausted just talking about all the work.

"Who did she bring in?" JJ asked, curiously. It hadn't taken Strauss long to replace her completely.

"Alex Blake. They knew each other when they were in the field before. She's great, actually. She's been a big help in solving all the cases that we've been doing lately."

"Oh." JJ said, nodding. She had secretley been hoping that he would say that she wasn't great and she couldn't replace JJ at all, but it was obvious that Hotch didn't feel that way.

"We all really miss you though, especially Reid. After you left, I really thought he was going to quit too. He didn't come to work for a week after that, until Morgan and Emily went and had an intervention with him. He still seems mad about it, he helps solve the cases, but he just doesn't seem as..."

"Quirky?" JJ cut in, smiling.

"Yes, perfect word for it. He acts like he's been forced to come..." Hotch sighed heavily again and JJ stared at him with concern.

"How are_ you_?"

"Me?" Hotch was caught off guard, "I'm fine..." he told her.

"Hotch, I know you. I worked with you for 10 years and I know that you _always _lie about how you are. So with that in mind, how are you?" She asked a second time.

Hotch stared at her for a second before realizing she was right. "It's been hard. I have so much work and without you there I have to pick the cases and try to hold off the media. The team tries, but no one knows the tricks like you. They all tell me I'm doing a great job, but I can tell that they're all waiting for me to ask for help and I'm not ready to do that."

"Why not?" JJ asked immediatley, "Asking for help doesn't take anything away from you, maybe pride, but is that really so important anyway? Aaron, if you need help, ask for it." She advised.

Hotch let himself smile, "You are very persuasive."

"I'm a woman." JJ added, smirking.

"I heard you got a job with the Virgina State Police, how's that going?" Hotch asked her, curiously.

JJ paused, thinking for moment. "It's definatley less eventful, it's mostly paperwork and sometimes I go in front of the cameras, but mostly just to warn people for Amber Alerts and fires." She shrugged, "I miss the BAU, but this job isn't...bad."

"Somebody has to do it, better you than someone unqualified." Hotch told her, "Do they know that you worked for the FBI? That should get you a reputation."

"They just found out the other day, actually. That's what reminded me that I needed to call you." JJ shrugged, "They were surprised, probably because of my appearance. No one expects a woman, let alone an innocent _blonde_." She rolled her eyes.

"How are you and Will? Did you work everything out?"

"Actually, we did. Maybe it's because this job is a lot less high maintenance, but at least we're in love again, you know?" JJ shrugged, "I think getting fired was good for me, I needed to get back on my feet and spend some time with my family, but soon...I think I might try to come back."

Hotch nodded, "We need you back JJ, we really do. Even with Blake, it still feels like we're missing a team member. If they saw that you worked for the Police Department, I bet they'd be willing to bring you back if you got your boss to fill out good employee evaluations."

"That's what I'll do then." JJ smiled, "Thanks Hotch, for all the advice, for filling me in and just...for coming."

Hotch just nodded in acceptance before standing up, "I better get down to the station, but I'll tell everyone that you miss them."

"Bye Hotch." JJ stood up too.

"Bye JJ." He walked towards the exit and out to his car while JJ walked out the other door and to her car. She went to work that day and all she did was paperwork, literally, but that meant that she got to come home early. It was only 5:00 when she was coming home, she couldn't remember a time when she had gotten home this early. She couldn't wait to surprise Henry and Will at home. When she drove up, she got out and walked up to the door, unlocked it and walked inside.

"Guess who's home?" JJ smiled.

"Mommy!" Henry ran over to her, "You home!"

"Yea, little man. Mommy came home just to see you." JJ touched his nose, gently. "Where's daddy?"

"He's in the kitchen." Henry told his mom.

"Okay, shhh. Let's surprise him." JJ turned around and let Henry climb up onto her back. She saw Will cooking something on the stove and she started to walk up behind him.

"Daddy!" Henry exclaimed, making his father turn around to see the both of them.

His eyes opened wide, "JJ! What are you doing home?" He asked, grinning widely.

"I got off early." JJ told him, smiling. "Surprised?"

"Well yea. I was going to make you a surprise romantic dinner, but you just _had_ to come and ruin it." Will joked, lightly. He kissed her softly on the cheek before turning back to the pot.

"Guess what Henry...bath time!" JJ smiled and glanced at Will before heading up the stairs to give her son a bath.

* * *

_Rain drizzled down in a small suburban neighborhood, creating a misty haze in the night. Outside every pleasantly normal house the lawns were perfectly mowed and the bushes were trimmed. It was the true definition of a suburban neighborhood. The streetlights were spread unevenly down the street, leaving dark, sinister stretches of road behind. A car drove slyly down the road going unusually slow. In front of a light brown house it stopped and the headlights turned off mysteriously. A man got out of the car and walked around it to the sidewalk, waving over his shoulder at the other man who then turned the headlights back on and drove away. The man was wearing a dark blue hood and black pants. He put his hoods up and made sure to stay in the shadows as he walked through some of the yards. He has a determined, ambitious look on his face as he trudged through the bushes. He could see his destination from where he saw. A branch of a nearby tree blocked his view so he pulled it down out of his way. He could see one light on in the upstairs bedroom, he knew once that light went off it would be time. He pulled off his backpack and went through all his stuff to make sure everything was there. By the time he looked up again the light was off. The man waited another 20 minutes before walking towards the house. It was a large white house on the corner of the street. He walked through the back yard and up to the back door, making sure not to make any noise. He took out a crowbar and with great ease, pried the door open. It made noise, but not enough to wake the family inside up. The door led straight into the large kitchen area of the house which was attached to the dining room and the living room. He shut the door behind him and put the crowbar down on the table. Upstairs slept a happy husband and wife, the husband had his arms around the wife and in the next room a small boy was asleep under Star Wars sheets. The man put his backpack on the table and pulled out a container about the size of a gallon of milk, maybe more. He unscrewed the top and poured the liquid on the kitchen counters, all around the living room and on all the furniture. He walked up the stairs sprinkling the liquid on the stairs and down the hallways upstairs. This was when his intentions became terribly clear; the liquid he was pouring all over the house was gasoline. He returned to his bag and took out a match, getting ready to set the whole house on fire and end the lives of the pleasantly normal family that lived in it._

* * *

As JJ finished reading Henry his favorite bedtime story, Little Baby Star, she walked back into her bedroom where Will was sitting in bed waiting for her already. He looked up and smiled brightly at her as if inviting her to get in the bed with him.

"Just a minute big guy. I have to change." JJ rolled her eyes at his persistence. She changed into the clothes she wanted to sleep in and then went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, wash her face and do everything she needed to do before getting into bed. Once she finished and climbed into bed next to her husband and smiled as she felt his arms wrap around her. She reached up and turned the light off. She scooted closer to her husband's warm frame and fell asleep quickly in his arms. The two adults were in a deep, well deserved sleep. Neither of them heard the back door pry open, they didn't hear the door shut, they didn't hear or smell the gasoline being poured all over their house and they didn't hear him walk up the stairs before lighting the match and stick a syringe in Will's arm. JJ finally woke up to the feeling of her husband being pulled out of the bed next to her when she rolled around to see where he was going, she didn't see anything or anyone so she just assumed he had went to the bathroom and rolled back over, closing her eyes. Will was dragged out of the room without any of her suspicion. The one thing that really got her attention was the sound of her son calling her name from downstairs.

"Mommy!" Henry yelled as the man, led him down the stairs while carrying his father over his shoulder. He was scared and he didn't know where his strange man was taking him and his father. He saw the man rub a stick against a small box and then there was a small flame on the end of the stick. The man threw the stick over his shoulder and it started spreading up the stairs, into the living room, in the hallway, everywhere. Everywhere _except _in front of the front door which was where the man led them before opening it and forcing Henry and throwing Will into the backseat of a getaway car that was waiting for him.

JJ, who had heard her son calling for her, was immediatley up and looking around for him. Before she left her room to go look for him, she smelled smoke coming from downstairs and she froze in her tracks. The house was on fire. As if on cue, the fire coursed up the stairs and down the hallway. She was trapped in her bedroom that she knew would eventually be engulfed in flames. Then she remembered her son and her stomach dropped, she had to go into his room and get him, it was her only option since Will was nowhere to be seen. The flames were burning in the hallway, but there was enough room for JJ to squeeze past it to Henry's room, or at least she though there was. She pushed herself up against the wall as she started to edge down the hall, that was when she realized that there definatley wasn't enough room. The heat was unbearable, she felt a burning sensation on her right leg, but she was too afraid to look at it and see if it was burnt. Instead she just pushed on and quickly entered Henry's room only to find that it was completely empty. She instantley knew what had happened, Sean had returned and this time he would sucessfully fulfill his mission. JJ felt the flames enter Henry's room behind her and she started to walk towards the window, hearing the faint sound of sirens outside. She opened the window which helped the smoke escape and made it easier for her to breath, but now she didn't know what to do because the flames were inching closer and closer to her. The drop from Henry's window to the ground looked to be about 20 feet and she knew that was dangerous. She turned around to see that the flames were even closer than before and she was starting to feel the heat radiating off of them now. She flattened herself against the wall and coughed, finding it harder and harder to get air into her lungs. She sank to the ground and closed her eyes as the fire got even closer, she had no idea what to do. She was frozen, but luckily when she looked up she saw a figure in the doorway. The fire fighter charged in and lifted her off the ground, they had to move fast through the flames because there was only so much his fire proof suit could do to protect her. As they ran through the first set, the fire fighter had done a great job of keeping her unscathed, but as he trudged down the stairs she felt another burning feeling engulf her left arm which was hanging at her side. She felt too weak to move it so she just closed her eyes and accepted the pain for those few brief seconds that it was exposed. The fire fighter carried her out of the burning house and layed her down in an ambulance, but before they left for the hospital the fire fighter looked down at her.

"Is there anyone else in the house?" He asked her.

JJ shook her head, knowing that Sean had taken Will and Henry before he had even started the fire. "Call the FBI." She rasped, feeling light-headed from a lack of oxygen. "Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner." She managed to add before she closed her eyes and let the nurses put the oxygen over her mouth.


	18. Family

JJ remembered feeling like this the last time. The feeling of being completely helpless of her situation. She wanted more than anything to talk to Hotch or _someone_ from her team so that they could start looking for Will and Henry. With every moment that was passing Sean was getting further and further away from the abduction site. She felt sick to her stomach just thinking about how her precious little boy was feeling; alone, scared and just like her, helpless. The rough jerking of the ambulance during the ride didn't help her stomach either, she saw a trash can to her left out of the corner of her eye so she leaned over, pulled off her mask and threw up into it. The doctors that were working on her paused as she did so to make sure that she was okay. She even felt one of them rub her back soothingly. JJ just wished that she hadn't dragged her son and husband into all of this. This whole thing was between Sean and her, but that psychopath had decided to play dirty. She leaned back over and lay flat on her back again, closing her eyes only to see flashes of that nightmare she kept having over and over again. She had to kill Will in front of Henry, but when she refused...her little boy was dead at the hands of the man that had also killed her sister. Only now she realized that her nightmare was coming true and if she didn't get the BAU involved soon…her son might actually be dead. She shook herself out of this and tried to focus on what was happening right now. One of the doctors was pouring alcohol on her leg while the other poured it on her arm, she recognized the sour smell. The blonde found herself slightly relieved when they arrived at the hospital because they wouldn't be moving anymore. She still felt a little bit sick to her stomach, but she wasn't going to complain. They wheeled her into the Emergency Room, but her injuries must not have been that serious because she didn't hear anything about surgery yet. One of the doctors put a new oxygen mask over her mouth and JJ started to struggle, hating the feeling of having that mask on her face.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Weston." The doctor told her as she squirmed, "I promise we're gonna take great care of you, don't worry." She gave JJ a smile, but the blonde wasn't convinced. "What's your name?" She asked.

JJ pulled her mask down for a moment, "Jennifer…" There was a pause, "What's…wrong…with…me?" She asked the doctor between pants, finding it extremely hard to get air into her lungs.

Dr. Weston gave her a concerned look before lifting the mask back over her mouth. The breathing became a little easier for her after that. "Well," The doctor started, "I regret to tell you that you have suffered second degree burns on your left hand and right thigh and third degree burns on your right calf and on your left forearm. You also have some swelling in your throat from all the smoke you breathed in, but that should get better as time goes on."

JJ didn't care about her throat she looked over at her left arm and winced at the sight. Her hand was a smooth, pink color which didn't look too bad, but her forearm was a reddish-brown color and skin was peeling off of it. She couldn't look at it anymore so she turned her attention back to Dr. Weston.

"Your third degree burns have destroyed your nerve endings meaning that it won't heal by itself. We understand that you need to talk to the police so we'll just clean these burns out and give you some pain killers and antibiotics, but you need to come back in a few days or a week at the most for a skin graft."

JJ gave the doctor a confused look to let her know that she didn't know what she was talking about.

"A skin graft is a surgery where they take skin from an unburned part of your body and use it to cover the affected burn to help it to heal. It should take a few days to recover from that surgery because we'll have to monitor how well the burned and unburned skins are healing." Dr. Weston explained, trying to make it easier to understand for her.

JJ pulled off her mask again, "Wait, wait…surgery?"

"Yes Jennifer." The female doctor nodded with a confused look on her face.

"No, no. I'm not getting surgery." JJ realized that her breathing was better than the last time so she sat up, "My husband and my son need me."

Dr. Weston stepped forward and gently pushed JJ back down into a laying position on the bed. "Jennifer, I'm sure that your son and husband will be here soon once they find out what happened." She obviously didn't understand what had actually happened.

"No they won't! He took them! Sean took them and I need to get down to the FBI! They could be dead right now." JJ sat back up again, this time more quickly, but Dr. Weston stopped her again by holding her shoulders.

"The FBI is probably on a case or something so we'll call the police department for you and they'll take care of whatever happened." Dr. Weston told her with a comforting tone, but the blonde just shook her head.

"You don't understand. I_ am_ an FBI agent! I'm Supervisory Special Agent Jennifer Jureau for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. So let me go right now before I arrest your ass." JJ told the doctor forcefully. Will and Henry needed her help and this doctor wasn't going to stand in the way of that.

Dr. Weston looked dumb-founded for a moment, but she recovered quickly. "Jennifer…uhh…Miss Jureau," The doctor started a little more sheepishly now, "I'm sorry about your husband and son, but you need to stay a little bit longer so we can clean your wounds out, okay? I would also recommend coming back for the surgery…"

"No. No more surgeries!" JJ exclaimed, "Now let me out of here or I swear I will call whoever is in charge of this hospital and I will make sure that you are fired."

"AGENT JUREAU." Dr. Weston sounded completely serious now and this made JJ's head turn towards her in surprise. "You need to stay now or your burns will get infected and will never heal. Do you want your skin to look like that forever?"

JJ didn't answer the question she swung her legs over the side of the bed and started to stand up. "I'll come back once my son and my husband are safe. You aren't going to change my mind so you might as well stop trying." She shot a fierce glare at the doctor.

The doctor turned back towards the nurse's station. "Are the police here yet?" She asked, frantically and JJ could tell it was because she didn't want her to leave.

"Yes." JJ immediately recognized the voice that she heard so she looked up quickly.

"Hotch…" She bit her lip and let the doctors sit her back down. "Tell them to let me leave." She pleaded to her unit chief.

The stern man ignored her and turned to the doctors. "How's her condition?"

JJ was annoyed when he did that, why did he just ignore her? Did he even know about Henry and Will yet?

"Agent Jureau needs to have her burns cleaned out and bandaged. She also needs to get as much oxygen as she can into her system to reduce the swelling that is apparent in her throat. Once she leaves today she'll need to apply burn cream and take antibiotics. Even though she refuses I would also highly recommend her coming back for surgery."

"No!" JJ spoke up and they both looked over at her. "No surgery! What about that don't you understand?"

"How long will it take for you to clean and bandage?" Hotch asked and JJ saw him glance up at the clock. She realized then that he did know about Will and Henry, so just like JJ, he was assuming that they were on a time limit.

"Ummm…" Dr. Weston paused in thought for a couple seconds. "I'd say an hour…maybe a little longer."

"You have 30 minutes." Hotch told her forcefully, leaving the doctor taken aback. He walked over to JJ's bed side, "How are you feeling?"

Finally, there he was. JJ smiled, happy that he was acknowledging her presence now. "I'm fine, where's the rest of the team?"

"They went back to your house…" Hotch told her, "To see if maybe he left any evidence…"

Her house…JJ felt her heart drop at the thought of what her beautiful suburban house looked like now. Was it a pile of rubble? Had everything she had worked so hard for been reduced to ashes? "Okay." Was all she said to Hotch.

Hotch gave her a concerned look, "We won't let anything happen to them, you know that right?" He glanced over at the doctors who had pulled out tools that resembled tweezers, but JJ knew that there had to be some crazy medical term for them.

"Y-yeah. I know. I just don't want Henry to be scared for the rest of his life. I mean, trauma can change a person…and I don't want him to be exposed to that yet." JJ paused and then remembered Hotch had been through the same thing, "How did Jack handle it?"

"I don't think he really…understood what had happened. I know that he had nightmares and he definitely missed his mom, but I think that kids, without even knowing it, shield_ themselves_ from bad things that happen. He'll be okay, JJ. He's just like you. He's a tough kid." Hotch's look of sincerity comforted her a little bit, but it didn't stay that way because she started to feel the doctors poking around in her burns. She looked down to see what they were doing, but she looked away again because her calf looked even worse than her forearm. It was reddish-brown too, but it looked like her skin was bubbling. It disgusted her so she just closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on where she thought Sean would take her husband and son. A few seconds went by and she felt a sharp twinge in her calf and then a searing pain that followed. She let out a wince and squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could.

Hotch took her hand in his and that made her feel a little bit better as the doctors continued to dig through her burns.

"Dr. Parks, can you put the mask back on her?" Dr. Weston asked, looking at the woman who was cleaning out JJ's forearm. The other doctor nodded and stood up, lifting yet another mask to JJ's face. Right away, it became a lot easier for JJ to take in air.

Time went by slowly and soon enough, JJ's body got used to the tweezers invading her skin so it didn't hurt as much as it did at the beginning. She was about to ask Hotch what time it was when he turned towards the doctors instead.

"You have 10 minutes to wrap this up. We're kind of…on a time limit." He told the doctors and Dr. Weston gave him a nod of understanding.

"Dr. Parks, check her oxygen levels and I'll get Dr. Hasley to get her prescription ready." Dr. Weston walked out of the room and up to the nurse's station. JJ then turned her attention to Dr. Parks, who was standing in front of her.

"Okay, when I press this button I'm gonna need you to take a deep breath for me." Dr. Parks told her with a pleasant smile. "Just try to breathe normally." She reached over to the machine, pressed the button and then nodded at JJ. She took in a deep breath and then exhaled it a few seconds later, not really sure why she was doing this. The doctor nodded and examined the monitor. "Good, good. You're taking in close to the normal amount oxygen, but I'm gonna need to check your throat." Dr. Parks pulled the mask off of her and picked up a tongue dispenser. "Just hold still, I'll try to be fast." The doctor tilted JJ's head back and used the tongue dispenser to hold down her tongue while she looked down her throat. JJ only held this position for a minute or two when the doctor pulled away and looked at the blonde agent. "Your throat looks good, but it's still not back to normal so you may have some discomfort; coughing, sore throat, pain when swallowing, and maybe at some times trouble breathing. If you start to have trouble taking in air, try not to hyperventilate, just stay calm and get some water. If you still have trouble, try taking deep breaths, but if that doesn't work and you start to get a headache you need to come here as quick as you can because your throat might be swelling up again." The doctor paused to take a breath, "Also try to stay away from breathing in smoke, perfume or anything that isn't pure oxygen." She nodded, "Umm…well I think that's it, now we'll just patch you up, give you some meds and then send you on your way."

"Thank God." JJ sighed and brushed a strand of her hair out of her eyes. She glanced over at Hotch only to see him smiling.

A couple minutes went by before Dr. Weston walked back into the room with a bag in her hands. "Alright Jennifer, you need to take one dose of antibiotics a day with food and apply this burn cream twice a day, once during the day and once at night. There's also pain killers in here too, you can take those whenever you feel pain, but don't take more than three a day and try to take them with food too." She handed the bag over to JJ, who nodded. Next Dr. Weston applied some cream to the burns on her leg and then put a moist bandage over them. "Later on this may rub against your burn and it can cause some tenderness so you might want to apply the cream when that happens or at least try to restrict movement." JJ nodded and watched as Dr. Parks applied the same cream to her arm and put a bandage over her forearm and her hand. It made her feel better than now no one could see her burns.

"Are you done?" Hotch asked the doctors politely.

"Yes, you can take her now. Good luck on finding your family. I'm so sorry about everything that happened." Dr. Weston paused, "Are you going to come back for the-"

JJ was already standing up with the help of Hotch, but before the doctor could even finished the question she whipped her head around, "No." She replied, crossly.

The doctor just nodded and watched as the pair walked out. Hotch's arm was around JJ's waist and he was helping her along so she wouldn't have to put that much weight on her leg. He stopped just before they reached the exit and faced JJ.

"Why aren't you coming back for the surgery JJ? I know you can be stubborn sometimes, but I think you know that this is for your health." Hotch's thick eyebrows were furrowed with bewilderment. He looked confused as to why she wouldn't want someone to help her.

JJ let out a heavy sigh, "No you too." She muttered. The thought of going through another surgery just made her uneasy. Last time she'd had one she had barely woken up and it just scared her that this time if they put her under again she wouldn't wake up at all.

"Come on JJ, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Hotch pleaded with her. His eyes were full of concern, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to tell anyone about the things that were bothering her. She was a private person.

"What if…" JJ stopped herself, "If the surgery…" This wasn't working so she just decided to try something else. She was going to do what she always did when she didn't want to talk about something. "It's nothing, really. I just don't want to come back here."

JJ could tell that he saw right through her, "Are you…afraid?" Hotch asked. "You really need this surgery JJ and from what I can tell this is a simple procedure, you should be absolutely fine after it. You have no reason to be afraid."

"Hotch!" JJ exclaimed, irritably. "My husband and son are missing right now and every moment we spend here arguing is a moment that Sean could be using to…to…"

"You're right, JJ. I'm sorry…" Hotch sighed and paused, "When we get back to the station I'm going to need you to get changed and set up a press conference. We need everyone to know that Sean is out there and know that he is dangerous. He's not a narcissist so I think it'll be safe to notify the public without him reacting harshly to Will and Henry. Just try to keep yourself from being compromised, because you know, more than anyone knows that the media eats that up." He told her and turned started to help her walk towards the exit again.

"Alright." JJ walked out of the building with Hotch and got into the passenger side of the car. It took them a few minutes to drive down to the station and when they got there JJ saw all the cars that she recognized to be her friends. Hotch helped her out of the car and then into the building. Right as she walked in she saw her team, her best friends, her _family _and she couldn't help but smile.


	19. Reunited

The reacquainting with her friends went a lot smoother than she had thought when she walked in. She imagined all the profilers would immediately start by asking her questions or want to talk about her return and all she really wanted was to hug them, each one of them. She prepared herself vainly for the questions they might ask her about Will and Henry, about Sean, maybe even about her sister, but out of nowhere before any of the other profilers could say anything Reid walked straight up to JJ. Their eyes met for a split second before he quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. It was completely silent, Reid didn't have to say anything because JJ to know how he felt. He wanted her to know that he was there, for whatever she needed and whenever she needed it, he would be there. Their friendship had never been complicated, just by reading Reid's basic behavior she could tell what he was feeling and Reid seemed to be the only person who could break through the walls that JJ put up to isolate herself. He always knew how to get through to her and right now she needed his comfort more than ever. Their embrace lasted for a couple seconds before Reid pulled away and searched her face for emotions. JJ tried her hardest not to let tears escape from her eyes. She wasn't even sure why she wanted to cry, it could be because her husband and son were missing or even because she was being reunited with her best friends. For either reason, her eyes started to swim slightly and Reid gave her a calming look just before he reached up and brushed her blonde hair out of her face.

"Reid…" All JJ wanted to say was thank you to him, for everything, but she couldn't find the words. Her lip trembled and Reid touched his hand to her cheek only to feel the dampness of her skin.

"JJ…you don't have to." Reid glanced down at the ground before looking back up at her, his own eyes sparkling with tears. He leaned forward and gave her another quick squeeze, she saw him glance backwards, now noticing that all their co-workers waiting for their turn to greet her. "Sorry." He muttered, dipping his head down and moving out of the way for everyone else to welcome her back.

Emily was next to walk up to JJ next and her brown eyes met JJ's blue ones. "I'm so glad you're back…" She told JJ and the blonde realized that this was one of the first times that Emily hadn't greeted her with one of her sarcastic comments. Emily's eyes were guarded like they always were, but this time JJ made out the slightest hint of happiness glinting in her chocolate orbs.

"I am too…" JJ gave her friend a warm smile, not sure how she could possibly be smiling at a time like this. "I've missed you so much."

"We've missed you too. It's not the same around here without you." Emily told her and stepped forward. The two women hugged each other for a few seconds and then pulled away. They shared a deep look before the brunet agent nodded at her and walked over to where Reid was now standing.

Garcia and Derek both stepped towards JJ at the same time and then shared a look between them. Instead of one of them backing off, they both still came towards her…together. Garcia's eyes were swimming and she gave JJ a meaningful look. It seemed like for the first time, in all of the time that JJ had known her, she didn't have anything to say. She just stepped forward and embraced JJ. Morgan joined in, wrapping his muscular arms around both women. JJ closed her eyes, feeling safe in their arms and for a second, only a split second she forgot about Sean, she forgot about the press conference, she forgot about Will and Henry. When she closed her eyes in that moment, she was at peace.

As they both pulled away from her and the light blurred her vision, all the problems came back to her. Will and Henry were still missing, she was about to deliver a press conference, and Sean, the man that she feared the most was the one causing all of this.

David Rossi was the last one to come towards her. He had always been like a father figure to her, guiding her along her way. As he stepped towards her, she started to feel nervous like he was going to be disappointed in her or something, but he also just hugged her tightly. "We're glad you're back, JJ." That was all he needed to say to get through to her.

"It hasn't been the same without you guys either." She buried her face into his shoulder.

This last embrace lasted for a few more seconds until they both let go and JJ looked back at Hotch. "So do we need to prep for the press conference?" She asked him.

"Yes, but first. We're gonna find you a new pair of clothes and give you some of that burn cream." Hotch told her.

"Hotch, I don't…" JJ stopped herself. She knew Hotch was just as stubborn as she was so he wasn't going to back down any time soon. "Okay…" she muttered.

Hotch had a satisfied look on his face that made it even harder for JJ to let him win this time. He led her down a familiar hallway and into the girl's bathroom. She tried to ignore the fact that he didn't seem to mind coming in with her. "Do you want to do it or do you need my help?" He asked, handing her the bottle of the cream.

"I can do it." She told him as she slowly peeled off the bandage to make the burn accessible. The sight of her arm made her cringe, it was gross. Without looking directly at it, she squirted some of the cool cream onto it. The warmth that had been radiating from her arm before started to feel better, like the feeling you get when you put aloe vera on a sunburn. She held out two fingers and started to spread it, closing her eyes tightly. The rubbing of her fingers wasn't exactly adding to the relief she had felt a few moments earlier.

Hotch was silent at her side, ready to step in if she needed it.

JJ tried not to make it seem like she was struggling even though she was in more pain than before she had even put the cream on. She stopped and pulled her fingers away only to realize that they were shaking. "I-I…can't." She shook her head, feeling pathetic.

Hotch just nodded, reassuringly. "I'll help." He took the burn cream out of her hand and squeezed a little more onto the burn. Using toilet paper he tried to spread it as smoothly and evenly as he knew how while ignoring the wince that she let out.

The toilet paper wasn't exactly feeling great against her burn, but she wasn't going to complain. It had to be done somehow and she wasn't going to force Hotch to do it with his bare hands.

It took him a few minutes to finish with the burn on her arm. Once he did, he lifted the bandage over it and wrapped it tightly. She gave him a thankful look and then glanced down at her leg. How were they going to do this?

"Ummm…how about you sit on the counter?" He suggested.

JJ nodded. "Good idea." She muttered to him as she pulled herself easily onto the counter. He bent down in front of her and peeled the bandage off. This one looked even worse than the one on her arm. She focused on the reflection she saw in the mirror while Hotch worked quickly on her leg. The rubbing pain was persistent and every now and then she would get a twinge of pain from a particularly pressured rub, but she put on a brave face. Her leg took longer than her arm by a good 10 or 20 minutes because it was worse and bigger. As Hotch replaced the bandage she felt completely relieved.

"Okay. Now I'll go get you some clothes and you can get changed okay?" Hotch nodded at her without waiting for a response.

JJ couldn't help wondering what kind of clothes he was going to bring back for her. She hopped down from the counter and turned on the faucet, splashing some of the cold water in her face. It felt pretty refreshing, but that feeling didn't last. _Henry and Will…_ She thought, closing her eyes. They were in the hands of a man that was known to be dangerous. What was he doing to them right now? She could only hope that Will would be defending their son and himself. Where would Sean go? He didn't have family here did he? JJ was going to have to take a trip to Garcia's later and get her to look it up. She turned around quickly when she heard the door open behind her.

"Here you go." Hotch set down a pair of folded clothes on the counter. "I got them from Prentiss so I think they'll fit." He also set down another bag with make-up contents in them. "I thought you might want this too." He gave her a small smile and then walked out, leaving her alone.

"How is she?" Morgan asked as Hotch walked out of the bathroom. They were all concerned for their friend and the situation that she was facing.

"I don't know." Hotch shook his head. "I don't think she's really come to terms with everything. I know she knows what's happening, but I just think she's chasing circles around herself."

Morgan gave him a confused look.

"I think she's trying to figure out what happened or where he took them, maybe what he's doing to them. If you think about that too much…you'll lose yourself." Hotch sounded like he was talking from experience.

"How are we supposed to find him?" Morgan asked. "We dropped the case and it went cold. There's _no_ new evidence. It's exactly how we left it."

"We have to look more into Sean's past. See what kind of action had to trigger his psychopathic tendencies." Hotch was already walking up toward Garcia's office with Morgan in tow behind him. "Garcia, I need you to look into Sean Raisman's past. As deep and far as you can go, okay? If you find anything call me." With those orders he walked out without listening to her response.

Morgan stayed behind. "Hey baby girl. How are you?" He sat down in the chair that was next to hers.

Garcia's eyes were on the screen and she was typing furiously. "I'm doing okay…" She turned to look at him for a brief moment. "I'm just worried about my girl." She shook her head. "It's not fair that all of this has to happen to her."

"I would take her place any day," Morgan let out a heavy sigh, "but the best thing we can do right now is try and find Sean. Now, I have to go and help set up for the press conference. I'll come check on you later." He smiled, half-heartedly and stood up, giving her a quick kiss on her cheek. "Love you, baby girl."

"I love you too, my chocolate thunder." She smiled and started typing again.

As soon as Morgan walked out he saw JJ talking to Hotch dressed in some clothes that he recognized to be Emily's. He saw that the podium and stage was already set up outside with press already arriving for the story. Just as he reached the end of the stairs JJ was leaving to go up to the podium.

"Hello. I am Agent Jennifer Jureau." She started, her voice unrevealing.

Morgan noticed that she wasn't saying she was with the BAU and he assumed it was because they hadn't really worked out her coming back yet. This whole press conference was just a spontaneous thing to get JJ's mind off of everything else. He made his way to stand next to Hotch. "Do you think Strauss is going to let her come back?"

"We can only hope." Hotch rubbed his hands together and looked at the ground.

After a few minutes of JJ explaining the situation she started taking some questions from reporters. It seemed like they were all shouting from random directions, but she didn't panic or get disoriented. She answered calmly and vaguely just like she was taught to.

Morgan looked around and saw Reid rushing towards him. "Reid, what is it?" He asked, glancing at Hotch who looked concerned. They were both hoping that this wasn't going to be bad news.

"I think I figured something out." Reid paused and took a breath so the other two men braced themselves for all the information that they knew was coming. "Okay so Sean used a specific drug to drug Sarah Jureau that night, right? Well I looked up the drug and it turns out there are only a few facilities in the country that make it. One of them is in Washington DC. I also found out that there is a chain of drug dealers in DC that are selling the drug because apparently it can be used as a sleep aid." He informed them.

"So that's his connection to here. We need to get to DC and find out where these connections are." Morgan said urgently.

Hotch nodded at him. "You and Emily drive up to Washington. I'll stay here until the press conference end to tell JJ and then I'll come out with Rossi, okay?" He told Morgan.

"What about me?" Reid asked.

"You'll come with Rossi and I because you need to explain everything to JJ and I'm not sure I can translate it as good as you will." Hotch looked over at Morgan and nodded to the SUVs parked in the parking lot. "Go on."

The press conference ended right when Morgan and Emily were pulling out of the parking lot in their SUV. All of the vans full of reporters and camera men drove off with them.

JJ walked over to Hotch and Reid. "Where are Morgan and Emily going?" She'd obviously seen them leave during the press conference. "Did you guys find something?" Her eyes lit up in excitement.

"Yes." Reid was happy to have the privilege of telling her the news. "We sent them to follow a lead that we found in Virginia." He started and then explained everything about the drug and the drug dealers in DC. He saw her eyes dull considerably as she realized which drug had been used in the process of killing her sister. Once he noticed that he decided to finish with good news. "We're hoping that if we find out who Sean made purchases with we can find out where he went with Will and Henry."

"Okay so what are we still doing here? Let's go!" She started walking to the parking lot where the SUVs were.

"JJ, wait. Hold on." Hotch spoke the voice of reason. "I think you should stay here with Garcia…" It was obviously hard for him to tell her this. "You're too involved to be thinking clearly."

"Hotch, that's not fair. They're my husband and son. I can't just sit here and wait for a phone call from you guys. I need to be out there looking for them!" JJ exclaimed, appalled by his suggestion. She spun around and started walking to the car again having silently decided that she was going whether he wanted her to or not.

"JJ…I'm just worried that-" He was cut off.

"That we'll get there and they'll be dead? Is that what you were going to say, Hotch?" JJ rolled her eyes, fiercely. "I'm going because I know Will will do whatever he needs to do to keep him and Henry alive."

Hotch tried one last time to get her to stay. "This is exactly why you got fired last time. We need to follow protocol. If your family is involved, you aren't." He was putting his foot down and saying no. He expected her to back down because of the serious tone he was using.

JJ stopped in her tracks with her fist clenched at her sides. She wanted to turn around and slap him for bringing all of that up again, but instead she just spun around slowly. Her face was so hot from anger that she was sure that her cheeks were red. "I'm going if you like it or not. I would _like_ to ride with you guys, but if I need to…I'll go solo to find my family." She took a breath to cool down for a moment. "Hotch, you of all people should understand." Her eyes reflected the hurt that she was feeling.

He gave her a blank stare before lowering his gaze to the ground. "Fine." He muttered through gritted teeth. "But don't get in the way or put anyone else in danger, okay?" He didn't wait for her answer because he knew what it was going to be, instead he walked to the SUV and got into the driver's seat.

"Well played, JJ." Reid smirked at her before entering the passenger's seat. He glanced at Hotch, but quickly looked away before the two men could make eye contact.

JJ entered the car and leaned back. _I'll find you._ She thought vainly. She would find Henry and Will. If it took her life to save theirs she would do it in a heartbeat. _No matter what it takes, I will find you. _She stared out the window, so far into her own thoughts that she didn't hear Hotch's phone ring.

"Hello?" Hotch answered and JJ's head snapped towards him to find out what the news was.

"Okay." He paused. "A man was taken into custody and questioned for dealing that drug, but was released because there was no evidence. His name was Harry Lurman."

"Oh my gosh…" JJ lifted her hand up to her forehead and closed her eyes.

"What?" Reid asked her. "JJ, what's wrong?" Concern was flooding his voice.

"I know him."


	20. Back In Time

A serene blue sky set the scene for the day as a 17 year old Jennifer Jureau pulled into the empty parking lot outside of the soccer field. She stepped out of her car and pulled her soccer bag out of the back seat. A cool breeze blew her hair back behind her, reminding her that she still needed to put it up into a ponytail before the practice began. Behind her in the parking lot, a large white truck pulled up. It's large engine disrupted the calmness of that day, but within a few seconds of parking it was turned off.

"Hey Jen." Sean, her coach at the time, greeted her as he stepped out of his car. "Why am I not surprised that you are the first one here?"

"I'm an over achiever, but I don't think you should be complaining because if I wasn't you wouldn't have anyone to help you unload the stuff out of your truck now, would you?" JJ teased, setting her stuff down and walking over to his truck. She reached inside and pulled some of the bags out casually, like she did it all the time.

"You ready to run today?" He smirked, mischievously.

"Oh sure." JJ smiled at him. "But really…" she knew that he was bluffing, "what are we doing today? And it better not be another JV and Varsity combined practice because I hate to tell you, but…JV sucks."

Sean smiled at her. "True… I thought maybe showing them what real players looked like would kind of…never mind. They'll get the hang of it." he muttered, "But don't worry today is just going to be Varsity because I invited my friend to come and watch the practice. He's a college scout for University of Pennsylvania. He saw one of our games and he said he was interested in some of our girls." Sean told her.

"Really?" JJ's voice lit up with excitement. Since she was already a junior she had to be signed to a college by the end of this year if she wanted to be ready for early admissions in the fall of next year. She'd gotten an offer from some community college south of this town, but it was no University of Pennsylvania.

"So make sure you do your best and if he likes any of you he said he would set up an interview for later this week to talk about scholarships." Sean informed her as he pulled a bag of soccer balls out of the back of his truck.

JJ really needed a scholarship. That was the only way her family could afford a college that was actually good quality. It was the only way she could get out of this god-forsaken town. Her thoughts quickly drifted to her sister's death, but she pushed them away and smiled. "What's his name?"

"The scout?" Sean didn't wait for her response. "His name is Harry Lurman."

JJ was about to answer when she saw that one of her friends was pulling up that very moment. She waved with a smile and the girl in the driver's seat waved back to her. "Looks like Kelley is here…it's about time." She smiled.

Sean frowned and shrugged. "Just remember that at least for today…they're all your competition."

She gave him a half-smile. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?" With that the young teenager walked over to her friend to talk to her about some boy that she wouldn't remember in 5 years.

That day at practice JJ had done the best she could…which was pretty good. She was all over the field, working hard to be better than everyone on her team. She could see the scout sitting on the bleachers with a clipboard so she made sure to show that she was leader not a follower. After the practice had ended the scout, Harry Lurman walked straight up to her and asked her if she could do an interview at 5:00 that Wednesday. She responded with a yes and then rushed home to tell her parents.

The first few days of the week went by quickly because of the anticipation of that Wednesday. This was one of the only occasions that the young Jennifer Jureau had worn a pencil skirt, sure the girl had worn plenty of dresses and skirts, but in this small town people didn't really where those kinds of clothes. Sean had told her to "dress for success" so she went all out with the pencil skirt and a nice flannel shirt tucked into it. Little did she know that once she became successful at the BAU she would be outfits like these almost every day.

JJ smoothed down her skirt before walking up to the door. There was a nametag attached to the wall next to with the name Harry Lurman inscribed onto it. She nodded and closed her eyes for a few seconds. _Be calm it's just an interview…that can change your whole life. Be yourself... _She told herself before knocking confidently on the door.

A few seconds later the door in front of her was yanked backwards to reveal the short man she had seen before at her soccer game. "Miss Jureau! Come on inside. Do you have your paperwork?" He asked.

"Yes sir." JJ walked into the room and set down the envelope full of papers on his desk. It was just a copy of her birth certificate, her transcript and a few other insignificant things, nothing she really had to worry about.

"Please, sit." Harry nodded at the chair across from his desk as he sat down in his own chair. "First I just want to ask you this, do you plan on playing soccer in college?" He asked, eyeing her carefully.

This was a question she knew there was only one answer to if she wanted to get the scholarship. "Yes. I do."

"Have you gotten any offers from any other colleges?"

JJ remembered what Sean had told her. She couldn't say no to this question because that would mean that she wasn't good enough, but she couldn't completely say yes either because that would mean she wasn't dedicated to getting this one. "I've gotten offers, but nothing has interested me yet."

"Good, good. I've been talking to the coach here and I think he may be willing to come and watch you play." Harry explained. "If he likes you then, because of your good grades, he most likely will offer you a scholarship."

"Really? That's great. Thank you so much!" JJ exclaimed, smiling at the man.

Harry nodded at her. "I know it may be too early now, but what do you think you want to major in?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Journalism definitely interests me and I think I'll minor in Mass Communication." JJ smiled at the thought. "I'm hoping that'll set me up for my dream job." She shrugged, not knowing that this would be the start of a career path she had never expected to go down.

"You want to be a news reporter?"

"Or a field reporter. Either way, as long as I'm in the media industry. That's always what I've been interested in because I love being in front of the camera and finding then writing about new stories." She let out a happy sigh.

"You certainly have the face for it." Harry told her with a smile on his face.

"Ummm…thank you?" JJ said, sort of questioningly. She found it kind of creepy that he would say something like that, but he was potentially getting her a scholarship so she didn't care that much.

"No thank you, Jennifer for coming and meeting with me. I hope you work it out with the coach and come here in a couple years. I'm sure you'd be a great addition to our school." Harry led her out of his office with a smile. "Goodbye."

* * *

"That's how I know him. He was the one who got me the scholarship to go to the college I went to. I can't believe he's actually involved in this. I mean, I thought he was kind of creepy, but not capable of stuff like this…" JJ gazed off into the distance and Reid must have noticed.

"Hey, sometimes people change. Not every drug dealer or serial killer is born thinking that way and sure, some are, but I don't think Harry Lurman was…if that makes you feel any better." Reid tried his best to comfort her.

"Thanks Reid." JJ looked out the window again. It seemed like everyone who had made a huge impact in her life was turning out to be completely different person, someone who had been a part of her sister's death. She looked back towards Reid only to meet his stare.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Reid asked, raising an eyebrow in concern. He always saw right through her when no one else could. It was sweet sometimes, but other times she just wanted her feelings to stay hidden.

"Yes I'm sure, why?" JJ responded back a little callously, wondering why he asked her again just after she had told him she was fine.

"You…well…you called me Reid." He glanced down at the ground, shyly. JJ could tell that his feelings were hurt by her hostility. She knew they were supposed to be best friends, but wasn't she allowed to be aggravated with him sometimes?

"I'm sorry, _Spence._" She emphasized his name with a half-hearted smile. This time when she finished talking he finally turned around towards the road again. Maybe she'd talk to him later about all of this. Probably not. Talking about her problems really wasn't her thing.

Hotch's phone rang again and he reached down, picking it up without taking his eyes off the road. It was a skill you had to learn while being an FBI agent. "Hello?" He asked, "Garcia. What do you have for us?" Without even looking at the phone, he put her on speaker. Another learned skill.

_Okay my sweets. I come bearing gifts…and by gifts I mean information. Harry Lurman was a recruiter from the University of Pennsylvania, but was forced to relocate when the athletics department at said school found out that he was administering drugs to athletes….like steroids and human growth hormone. He wasn't arrested because the portions he administered weren't big enough to be a crime, but he was still fired. He got a new job on the east coast in Washington DC as some sort of accountant until the police were tipped off that he was selling drugs again, the same drug that our resident genius brilliantly brought up, but once they finally got to this scum bag he was clean so they couldn't charge him. Now, he lives in a house just outside of the city. No wife, no family…_

"Does he have any other property in the area?" Reid asked with his eyebrows creased in thought.

The clicking of her keys was all they heard at first. After a few seconds the typing stopped.

_No. He only has an apartment._

"He wouldn't let Sean take them there because then it would be traced back to him eventually. It has to be somewhere secluded and isolated from other people…check for other family properties."

_Alright. I'll call you when I get a hit. _

Hotch hung up, leaving an awkward silence in the car. He was concentrating on the road, while Reid was going over possible triggers that could have caused Sean to go into the rampage and JJ was in the backseat staring out the window again, wondering what the fate of her husband and son was going to be.

Less than an hour later their SUV entered the city of Washington DC. Tourists crowded the sidewalks with their cameras taking pictures of their country's capital. JJ found it comforting to know that there was still patriotism among the people even with all of the problems the US was facing. She heard Reid and Hotch talking about something, but she decided to ignore it and carry on with her thoughts. She was sure that if Sean was here he would go somewhere he knew or at least somewhere that he knew of. He would accept the help of his friends because the stakes were high with two hostages. She was snapped back into reality when the car stopped.

"Wait…where are we?" JJ opened her car door as both of the men exited the car as well. She looked at the apartment building in front of her and without waiting for their answer she knew where they were.

"We're at Harry Lurman's apartment. Morgan, Emily and Rossi are already here talking to him, but they think bringing you in might trigger something...you're okay with that, right?" Reid asked, glancing at Hotch. No one had really even asked for JJ's approval yet.

"Yea of course. Anything that helps." JJ climbed the stairs with them until they reached their desired floor and walked up to one of the doors. With just one knock the door was pulled open on the other side by Emily.

"Hey guys. Come on in." She smiled.

As JJ entered and spotting the man sitting on the couch she realized what age could do to a person. Harry Lurman's once dark brown hair was now salt and pepper while wrinkles covered his aged face. He looked frail and weak, probably from the drugs in his system. When he looked up and saw her, the dullness in his eyes was slightly lifted. "Jennifer? Jennifer Jureau, is that you? I never thought I'd see that face again…it's hard to forget."

"Shut up." Hotch glared down at the frail man with hostility. "Don't talk to her like that."

Harry put his hands up in the air to surrender. "Sorry, I didn't realize I crossed a line." He muttered. "It's been a long time…I never thought you'd grow up to be in the FBI. I thought you wanted to be reporter."

"How did you meet Sean?" JJ asked, ignoring his comments completely. Her husband and son were at stake, she didn't have time to play games with this man.

"Who?"

"Sean Raisman."

"He was a soccer coach and I was a soccer recruiter. It was pretty much inevitable that one day our paths would cross." Harry shrugged. "He had plenty of good players, but none of them were like you." His eyes scanned her.

"Hey!" Hotch intruded, protectively. "What did I just tell you?"

"I can handle this, Hotch." JJ muttered to her unit chief. She hated when other people did things for her because it made her feel helpless. "When was the last time you talked to Sean?"

"I haven't talked to him in years because I lost my job as a recruiter so we really had no reason to talk after that." Harry shrugged, looking JJ straight in the eyes. Everyone in the room behind JJ seemed to be convinced, but she didn't back down.

She shook her head. "We have your phone records, Harry. We know you've spoken to him recently. Now you can tell me what's going on or later you'll be charged with being an accomplice to murder." She pushed on, glancing at Hotch beside her. His body had tensed since she started lying.

"He's murdered someone."

"More than one person and we know that you're part of it, maybe involuntarily, but either way it's still a crime." JJ glared at the small man sitting in front of her.

"Fine..." Harry shook his head. "Sean and I have always been good friends since high school actually. After I lost my recruiting job we really did lose touch for a while until a couple of weeks ago when he asked me if I still lived in DC. I said yes and then he kept asking about this cabin that my brother owns. We used to go to it and ski over the winter so I just assumed he was going up there for that again. I had no idea about the murders."

"Why did you give him drugs then?"

"I-I thought he was going to use them because he used to use them while he was coaching to stay in shape…" Harry finally gave in. "I swear I didn't know that he using them for anything like that, honest."

"Call Garcia, we're leaving." Hotch stood up.

JJ was still staring straight at Harry with cold stare. He had been the one who had administered the drug that had gotten her sister killed. She hated him, not for his creepiness, not for his dishonesty, but for his obliviousness to the world around him. Had he known that Sean would use the drugs for that, he wouldn't have given them to him and her sister would still be alive. She realized that Hotch was waiting for her in the doorway so she stood up slowly, still holding a glare at him. The only thing that finally made her tear her eyes away from him was Reid touching her shoulder.

"Come on JJ, let's go. He's not worth it." Reid encouraged her.

"You're right." JJ spat back at Harry before whipping around and walking towards the door. She ran her fingers through her hair as Hotch, Morgan, Reid and Emily exited the apartment. Rossi was staying with Harry until the police came. The rest of them were off to this cabin the woods somewhere to find out what had become of Henry and Will during all of this time. Were they okay? What had Sean been doing to them all of this time? None of them could answer completely, but they each had their own ideas. JJ's heart thumped powerfully in her chest. As they got higher and higher in altitude she started to feel more and more anxious. She wasn't sure if she was ready for what she'd find on the other side of that cabin door.


	21. The Compromise

In the backseat of the SUV, JJ was trying desperately to get her hands to stop shaking. The anticipation and fear of the possibilities were making her extremely anxious. She glanced at Reid, hoping that he didn't notice her state. Will and Henry were the two most important people in her life. She couldn't live without them...

Reid looked over and once again, without words, he reached over, took her left hand and held it between both of his hands. He rubbed it soothingly giving her a lot more comfort than she had expected. She gazed over at him with a grateful stare. In that moment, more than all the others, she needed _someone _to make her feel like it was all going to be okay.

As the car came to a stop at the edge of a dense forest, JJ's heart started to beat so hard that it almost hurt. She lifted her bulletproof vest over her head and pulled it on, having no idea what to expect from Sean. Everyone climbed out of the car, but Hotch instantly turned back to JJ. "You have to stay in the back." He commanded firmly to express that, this time there was no wiggle room. She would stay in the back and that was that. No arguing.

"Why?" She asked without noticing the decisiveness in his statement.

"You're still a victim." Hotch answered a little bit more harshly this time. "You have to stay in the back. Either that or stay in the car. Are we clear, Agent Jareau?" The use of her full FBI name intimidated her a little bit.

"Yes sir." She muttered through gritted teeth even though she had no desire to go through with her promise. This was her family that they were talking about. Did he really expect her to sit back while they handled things? If he did, he had another thing coming.

Each member of the team was holding their gun tightly in their right hand with the two in the front, Hotch and Morgan, holding flashlights to lead the rest of their team through the forest. It seemed like a mile or two before a small cabin finally came into view. Through the windows, they could see that the lights were on. JJ peered to see inside, but it seemed to be empty. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. As they approached the house someone's phone started to ring. JJ glared around to see who it was with a frustrated expression. They didn't have time for this.

"Hello?" She heard Hotch say through the darkness. He listed to the voice on the other end before signaling for the rest of the team to lower their guns and then put his hand over the receiver. "It's Sean." He breathed towards them and it was quiet enough in the forest for them to hear.

JJ felt like she was going to throw up. Why would Sean be calling if he was in the house a few feet away from them?

Hotch nodded on the phone. "Okay." He muttered before pulling the phone away from his ear and put him on speaker.

"_Am I on speaker now?"_ The sinister voice asked. It sent a chill down JJ's spine.

"Yes. You are."

"_Jennifer?" _ He asked for her immediately. She closed her eyes. This was her true nightmare coming true. He had the upper hand and everyone knew it too. This was miserable.

"I'm here." She hoped that she sounded more confident than she felt.

"_Good…" _He paused, "_I bet you're missing Henry and Will. I'm sorry I had to do this, but they still need to be saved."_

Everyone in the group looked at JJ as if they were sympathetic. Her family could be dead right now for all they knew. It made JJ furious.

"Just let them go!" She exclaimed. "They never did anything to you! Neither did Sarah." She added the second part a little bit less boldly.

"_It's not them I'm punishing. It's you." _He took another pause, "_However…I'm willing to make a compromise."_

Before JJ could agree, Hotch cut in. "What is it?" He asked raising his eyebrow.

"_Send Jennifer in here…alone and I'll let Henry and Will out. Her for them, so to speak." _He explained, obviously pleased with the situation that he had worked out.

"No." Hotch answered almost immediately.

There was some noise on the line before a new voice came on. _"Mommy?" _The small boy's voice made ever group member's heart drop.

"I'm here, honey." JJ tried her hardest not to cry. She couldn't let him know how she feeling right now. At least he was alive, but could she say the same for Will? Or was he dead?

"_I'm scared and I want to go home…" _He complained and then sniffed. Now he was crying.

"Don't be scared baby. We'll be there soon. Just be tough right now for mommy, okay? You're a big boy and I know you can do this. I'm so proud of you, Henry." JJ told him, hoping this wouldn't be the last conversation that they had.

"_I love you mommy!" _Henry exclaimed.

"I love you too." JJ felt a tear slide down her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly.

There was another noise, _"I love you three."_ Sean chuckled as he came back on the phone. _"So what do you think about the proposition now? Are you really going to let your little boy die for you…? He hasn't even gotten the chance to live yet."_

JJ sent a pleading look at Hotch, who still stood stone-faced beside her. She took the instinctive choice. "I'll do it."

"_Alone. No guns, no vests and no earpieces. If I find them on you I'll kill Henry." _ Sean threatened.

JJ pulled her vest off over her head and then handed her gun to Reid. She glanced around at her team as if this would be the last time that she ever saw them. She tried to stay strong until through the darkness she saw Emily wipe a tear off of her face. JJ went over and embraced her friend.

"You can't do this, JJ." Morgan insisted from behind her.

"_Would you do any different Agent Morgan? Be honest." _Sean taunted.

Morgan was silent after that. He looked at Hotch pleadingly as if trying to get him to take control of this situation, but the unit chief knew that, in this situation, he had to let her go in. Once Henry and Will were out they would save her from whatever fate she met.

"It's not like I'm saying goodbye, Derek." JJ rolled her eyes as if it were just another day teasing each other in the office.

It wasn't.

"It sure feels like it." Morgan pouted.

"_Just send her in already. I'm getting bored…and you know what happens when I get bored." _ Sean taunted.

"I'm coming." JJ obeyed and then met each of her coworker's eyes. "Take care of Henry and Will for me." She looked at Hotch in particular as if he, from his past experiences, would understand.

Even in the darkness there was a sadness that filled his eyes. Hotch, for once, was showing his emotions. Right now, he could care less. He walked over and gave another hug, holding her tightly in his arms. "This isn't the end." He whispered to her.

"Are you sure?" She whispered back, voice cracking.

Hotch pulled away and looked into her eyes. "I'll take care of them. You're an incredible person, JJ."

"It's going to happen isn't it?"

"There's no way to be sure."

"His profile…" JJ thought back to what she had heard. "He would do this kind of thing…you and I both know that. I just…if this ends badly, I want you to tell Henry that I died brave and that it wasn't his fault. Tell Will that I love him too…if I don't get the chance."

"I will." Hotch gave her another quick hug before nodding. "It's time." He told her slowly seeing that she didn't look like she was ready to leave.

"Thanks Hotch." JJ turned around and looked back over her team one more time to meet the eyes of each member as if saying some sort of goodbye. She walked over and took the phone out of the Rossi's hands. "I'm coming." She told Sean while walking towards the house. She had a bad feeling about this, but it was replaced with determination as she thought of her little boy. She walked up the steps and quickly yanked the doors open. Inside there was a single table taking up most of the first room. This place was a lot smaller than she had thought. She shut the door behind her and turned down a hallway to her right. At the end was one ominous door. She pulled that one open more slowly, but, to her disappointment, found nothing on the other side. Sean had lied to her. Anger bubbled in her stomach. Where was her family? She re-dialed the number that Sean had called from.

"_Hellooo?" _Sean sang.

"Where are they?"

"_Shhh…I just had to be sure that you were coming in. Calm down, Jen…we're only getting started. In the back room there is a nice, expensive-looking rug. It's red._" Sean explained to her.

"I see it." JJ muttered looking down at the dirty, red rug. Expensive? This thing looked like it had been laying there for 50 years.

"_Lift it up." _

JJ obeyed, feeling like it was a trap. Once it was uncovered she saw the hinges of a door and pulled it open. There was a ladder leading down into a dark tunnel. It felt like she was making her way down to her own personal hell.

"_That's it. Now don't forget to shut it once you're down."_

As JJ felt her feet touch the ground she looked back up to the door and pulled it shut, making it pitch black in the tunnel. Her heart started beating. This was more of what she was expecting. Sean had control…and the element of surprise.

"Where do I go?" JJ asked, speaking down into the phone.

"_Walk straight for a while and when you see light streaming in from a tunnel to your…left, take it." _ Sean ordered her. From his voice it was easy for her to tell that he was enjoying this…he was enjoying the power that he had.

JJ walked down the pitch black tunnel with a feeling of loneliness and helplessness creeping in. There was no one down here to help her. No one would be able to hear her scream…or so she thought. She saw light coming from a small tunnel coming up on her left so she turned down it and found a small room at the end. A single lamp was lighting it up and there was a door to her right.

"_There you go. Go through the door." _

JJ pulled the door open slowly. "Will!" She dropped the phone on the ground and rushed towards her husband. He was lying on the ground and it looked like he was unmoving. She bent down next to him and lightly rolled him over. "Will?" She asked softly.

"JJ…?" His voice was weak and when she rolled him over she saw that his cheek was swollen. There had obviously been a fight or something to that extent. "What are you doing here?" It was stronger now and he was sitting up slightly, but clutching his left elbow in his right hand.

"What wrong with your elbow?" JJ asked looking down at it. "Oh Will…" From what she could tell the bone was either dislocated or shattered altogether. The dim light of the room made it hard to tell.

"JJ! Why did you come? You know that once we leave he's just going to-"

"I don't care." JJ shook her head. "I love you, Will." She leaned in and gave him a quick, but loving kiss. "Where's Henry?" She looked around.

"Bathroom." Will nodded to a door behind her.

When JJ turned towards it she was only met with a fist connecting with her cheek. Since it caught her off guard she fell to the ground and saw the small shoes that belonged to her little boy. There was only a moment of relief before Sean lifted her off the ground again.


	22. A Curious Thing

Death is a curious thing. It's one of those things that we all know about, but never choose to pull out and think about very often. It's ignored and cast away because it is always perceived as a bad thing. Someone passing on is tragic, but you have to believe that there is a happier place. It something known, ignored, but not usually wanted.

Not usually.

As JJ was thrown against the wall by Shane she vainly wished that he would take her life and not her son or her husband's. They didn't deserve it. She got back to her feet, feeling a bit dizzy. Her son's muffled voice reached her ears. He was saying something, but she couldn't make it out and her vision was blurred. More seconds passed and things started to clear up. The voice became clearer to her.

"Mommy! I knew you would come!" Henry exclaimed with a bit of excitement that she recognized in his voice.

"Stop. No more talking." Sean's voice was dark and sinister, quickly shutting down her son's short spurt of happiness. She hated that he was in control, she hated everything about him.

The sound of his heavy footsteps came towards her and she felt him reach down and feel her across her body swiftly until he reached her boots and found a gun that she had hidden in one of them. He yanked it out roughly.

"I thought I told you no weapons." He shook his head and sighed, setting her gun down on a table close to him. He walked back over to her son.

JJ blinked a few times and then got up and stood confidently in front of the man. She could only hope that she looked more composed than she actually felt. "You said that if I came down here that you would let them go. I held up my end."

"No you didn't You brought a gun when I told you not to, but…unlike you, I'm an honorable person…so I'll hold up my end. But only because I want more uninterrupted time with you…" Sean pushed the little boy over to his father with a little more force than JJ would have liked. "Untie him, Henry." He ordered shortly as if Henry was a dog that would do whatever he was told.

Henry, taking a lot longer than normal because of his small hands, undid the knots around his father's wrists.

Will bent down immediately and wrapped his little boy in his arms which brought a small smile to JJ's face. It comforted her to see her husband's love for their son. That bond was going to be important after she was gone. After a few seconds, her husband pulled away and stood all the way up. He took an instinctive step towards his wife.

Sean side-stepped and stood in his way with a stern look on his face. "Get out of here or I'll kill all of you." He looked down at Henry with hungry eyes.

"Will…" JJ started, meeting Will's eyes. They needed to leave or the point of her going down there would have been for nothing. Henry had to get out safe and Will was the only person who could make sure that happened.

"I can't leave you, JJ. I can't. That's not an option here." Will told her, standing protectively in front of his son so that Sean couldn't look at him anymore. He knew what Sean would do if he left…he was supposed to protect both of them, so he couldn't leave her.

"Will! Get out now!" JJ yelled at him, her eyes flashing.

Will looked a little bit hurt, but recovered quickly and nodded. He turned to leave while holding Henry's hand, but just before they reached the opening he turned back. "I love you, JJ. You are the most…" He paused, looking for the perfect word, "You are gorgeous, passionate and everything that I could have ever wanted." He gave her a crooked smile, "Henry say goodbye to your mommy, bud." He rubbed his son's back.

"I love you, Mommy." Henry told her with silent tears streaming down his cheeks. Even being as young as he was, Henry knew what was happening. The look on his face was of pure sadness and terror, "Bye." He choked out through his tears.

JJ smiled at them, trying to give them at least a shred of comfort before they left. "I love you both too, more than anything..."

Even though neither of them wanted too, they left. As they reached the turn in the tunnel, Henry looked back with huge blue eyes. He gave his mom a small goodbye wave before they turned around the corner, out of her view.

Sean turned to face her, a big smile on his face. "Here we are again…"He turned his back to her for a split second to grab her gun off of the table that he had put it on. "Finally…I can finish what I started." He lifted the gun and aimed it at her.

"Wait!" JJ held her hands up, "Wait…can you just wait until they get out of the tunnel? I don't want them to hear it…" Tears raced down her cheeks and she thought that he was just going to shoot her anyway. That seemed like something that Sean would do.

He didn't.

Sean waited until her heard them climb up and out of the hatch. Once they shut it again and he was sure that they were gone, he aimed the gun straight at her and prepared to take the shot that would end her life.

* * *

Will clutched Henry's hand tightly as he shut the hatch. He rushed out of the room and down the hallway. They had to get out of the house quickly so that maybe they could alert JJ's team to go in. She might have time. If her team got in fast they might actually be able to save her. He knew that they would probably be outside waiting, but where? He pulled Henry out the front door, his eyes scanning the darkness.

He didn't see anyone.

They couldn't have left, not at a time like this. They were as much JJ's family as Will and Henry were and they had come to accept that. "Aaron!" He called, desperately.

No response.

"Emily!" He yelled.

Nothing.

"MORGAN! ROSSI! REID! GARCIA!" Will bellowed at the top of his lungs, wanting someone…_anyone_ to answer him.

There was still no response.

Where were they? He couldn't imagine that they had left JJ behind. They couldn't have. He looked over at Henry, who still had continuous tears streaming down his cheeks. The little boy turned his head and met his father's eyes.

"They aren't here?" His little boy whispered and then looked away, gazing out into the forest like he was looking for the team too.

Will shook his head, "We just have to keep looking. They could be here…" He looked away from his son as his eyes started to adjust to the darkness. He stared off in the distance for anything, any sign that could tell them that the team was still around there somewhere.

"Uncle Spence!" Henry called, his small voice booming next to Will. "Uncle Derek! Uncle Aaron! Uncle Dave! Aunt Emily! Aunt Garcia!" He yelled, making his dad proud. That boy was the best son that anyone could have ever had.

After the boy became silent, they heard it. They heard the sound of a hurried series of footsteps advancing towards them and then the yelling came next. It was distant, but loud enough for both of them to hear from the porch.

"Will! Henry! We're coming!" It was Hotch's voice. It got closer and closer until Will could see five silhouettes standing in front of him, minus Garcia, who he assumed was back at the station still. They all walked towards him.

"Listen," Will started without even wasting time to ask them where they had been, "JJ is still in there. I don't know what is happening, but she still might have time. When you go in, go left and in the room at the end of the hallway there's a hatch underneath the carpet to some tunnels. That's where Sean and JJ are." He explained hastily.

Before he even finished the last sentence, Hotch sprung into action with Morgan and Emily quick to follow. They dashed past Will and Henry into the house with their guns held out in front of them. Without checking any of the other rooms, the group advanced down the hallway and into the last room. Underneath the carpet was a hatch and Hotch pulled it open, shining his light down into it. There was no one there so he carefully lowered himself in. Emily, Rossi, Morgan and Reid followed. As they traveled down the dark tunnel it was almost chillingly quiet until they eventually heard JJ's voice ring out in the darkness.

"I don't care, just do it! Get it over with already!" Her voice cracked a bit, but that wasn't what bothered her team members. It was the tone that she was using that was unsettling. It was desperate, almost pleading. She wanted death…but why? Why was she giving up? It didn't make sense to any of them.

"Get ready to see your sister." Sean's voice boomed with an evilness in it that made a chill go down each of their spines, even Hotch _and _Rossi.

Before any of them could react to what they'd heard, a shot went off.

One shot.

One loud, sickening, heart-breaking shot.

For a few seconds, no one moved, no one breathed. They couldn't believe their own ears. It couldn't be right…this had to be some sort of mess up. They always came through for each other, always…but this time…had they been too late?

None of them wanted to think about the answer.

All they did was stand there, frozen until they heard a second sound come from the same place as the first. It was a thud sound against the ground and they all knew what it was.

JJ had fallen.

And with Sean that close they were all sure that he couldn't have possibly missed his target. She was gone…and they all knew it, but no one dared to go check.

Rossi wished that he hadn't heard it. They had all just heard the last few seconds of JJ's life and it didn't seem to comfort any of them much. She was dead. He didn't want to have those thoughts running through his head, but it was the truth and no matter how hard any of them tried…they were going to have to accept it somehow.

Emily's heart stopped. There was no way that this could be happening. Her ears were deceiving her; that was the only conclusion that she could come up with. She wanted to check and see if she was right, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her gaze drifted to the ground and a tear slid down her cheek. Barely realizing it, Morgan's hand slid into hers and he squeezed it.

Morgan gulped. He knew what this meant, but he didn't want to believe. The facts, the conclusions, and the observations…they all went out the window. He just stuck with the belief that their girl could make it through everything. He glanced to his left and noticed that Emily was crying. He reached over and grabbed her hand. She barely noticed.

Hotch didn't react. His face was blank and his emotions were turned inwards. If there was any emotion that he was feeling, he sure wasn't showing it. He couldn't let the team see him react to this because then they would realize…just how bad it was.

Reid's faced had paled considerably and, without him even knowing it, his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He couldn't handle this. He couldn't live without JJ and now she was dead because they couldn't get to her in time. Just one less second of hesitation and maybe…they could have saved her.

But there was also something different that had crossed each of their minds at one point. JJ had practically begged for her death because she knew that it was coming and anticipation was the worst part, but maybe…it had been for a different reason. Maybe she would get to see her sister again.

The two sisters would be reunited, but a whole team broken.

Or so they thought.

But death is a curious thing. In his clutches, as much as it can rip people apart, it can also bring them together.


	23. Role Model

Reid was the first to really react to the situation at hand. He slowly fell to his knees and buried his face into his hands. Composure, appearance, emotional stability…none of those things really mattered to him anymore. All that mattered was JJ.

He couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was dead and that he had _heard _the last few minutes of her life, but hadn't done anything. They had all stood there while that psychopath had easily taken the shot that ended JJ's life.

It was crazy for him to think that with just one shot, a life so valuable could be ripped away. How is that fair? Reid had never been very interested in religion, but now he couldn't help wonder how whatever God there was could let this happen to someone with so much to live for while letting her killer go on living. _Why? In what way does that make sense? _He asked himself.

_It doesn't._

Reid felt the wall against his side and he sank into it. He barely realized how much he was shaking from shock. But he wasn't really shocked, was he? He had known there was a good chance they wouldn't get there in time and when he heard them talking he knew what was happening, what would happen. And yet, he was still surprised. He was suspended in disbelief that something like this had actually happened to someone like JJ. It didn't make sense. It was one of the few things that Reid could not comprehend.

Or maybe he didn't want to.

He recalled the five stages of grief…and as he looked up at the team through teary eyes he saw each one of them.

Emily was in denial, even more so than Reid. Tears slid down her cheeks as she shook her head. "No, no."She repeated to herself, "This didn't happen to JJ…there's no way. No…no…" She was talking to no one in particular.

Hotch was bargaining. Reid could see his mind working, trying to figure out if they had taken one less step, one less moment, then maybe could they have saved JJ? With such a small factor like that could they have changed the outcome?

Morgan was angry; the fury was blazing through his warm brown eyes. It didn't look like he was angry at anyone in particular (even though Sean deserved it). It seemed that he was angrier at the world itself for doing this. He shook his head, picked up a nearby rock and threw it blindly at one of the far away walls.

Rossi seemed to be the only one to really accept it as the truth, probably because he had been with the team for the shortest amount of time and didn't have the same amount of history with JJ. He still looked sad, but seemed to be able to understand why he was sad, more so than anyone else.

Reid saw depression in himself. He was on the ground, crying for his friend. All he could think about was how he couldn't live without her. How would he survive? There was no way. He was full of regret. Why hadn't he told he how much she had meant to him back then? It was too late. Now he would never be able to.

She was like an older sister that he'd never had. She always kept an eye out for his best interest…which he had always appreciated, but never took the time to thank her for. Now especially, he wished that he could have thanked her for…everything she did for him and for everyone, he wished that he could talk to her one last time and tell her that she meant the world to him as a colleague and, more importantly, as a friend.

He would have lost himself in so many ways without her.

The diluadid would have torn him apart without her being there to help him painstakingly kick his addiction. There was a good chance that he would have gone through a lot more self-torture without her company.

Emily's death also would have been terrible without her being there to at least comfort him, even if she did know that Emily really wasn't dead.

But now, with her death, who would he turn to for comfort? Who would help him make it through? All he wanted, more than anything, was to go back to one of those many times when JJ had dropped by for no reason, because she was stressed or sometimes even if she and Will had fought, and they would just talk for hours…about things that they could never say to other people.

_"Have you ever had a girlfriend…Spence?" JJ asked him with a small smile playing across her lips. She was sitting comfortably in a chair across from him with a glass of water in her hands. _

_Reid smiled a little bit himself, "I mean…no, not really. Once in college one of the girls asked me out, but the dinner we went to was awful. We had nothing in common. But…" He smirked, "if you had asked me if I'd kissed a girl…that'd be a completely different story."_

_"A different story?"_

_"I've kissed a couple of girls."_

_JJ smiled brightly as she raised both of her eyebrows, cunningly. "Spence! You haven't told me about any of these girls! What the hell?!" She paused, "At least I already knew that you kissed that girl from one of those cases…I forget her name."_

_"Yep and it was in the paper the next day." Reid shook his head and rolled his eyes, "I'm gonna change the subject, if that's okay with you…" She nodded so he carried on with a more serious expression on his face, "Did you come over because of Will again?"_

_JJ smiled a little, but it was more of a somber-looking smile. "Yeah…don't get me wrong though, Will's great… I love him and he'll always be the guy for me, but sometimes I just need to get away and cool down."_

_"What happened?"_

_"We were arguing about something stupid like going out to dinner with his family. They live close so I told him that we could skip one of his family dinners because we always go to them and his mom doesn't really like me. He said that I didn't care…and all this other stuff." JJ looked at the ground. _

_Reid was concerned, "What did he say?"_

_"Just more stuff about work and how my job at the State Department had better, more reasonable hours. And that I should be a more dedicated mother…" JJ had a guilty look on her face, like she actually believed it. _

_Reid shook his head, "You're an amazing mother JJ and don't let anyone tell you any different."_

_JJ let out a heavy sigh, "And after we argued it got really quiet…and Will apologized. He said he was sorry and that he loved me, but…I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm never home anymore…and I should be."She bit her lip._

_Reid paused, trying to figure out how to approach this. "JJ…have you ever wondered what would have happened to the victims we saved if we hadn't been there? Like Ellie Spicer…Kate Joyce….all of them. They need us, Jayje. They need you."_

_JJ smiled, "I know…" She shook her head, "but do you ever feel like your life is split in two pieces? Work and Home? I'd give anything for my life to be one again…you know what I mean?" _

_"Actually…no." Reid looked up at her. "If anything, I'm always worried that work is going to follow me home."_

_He could feel JJ's eyes examining him, but he refused to meet them. He couldn't look into those bright blue eyes of hers because he knew, more than anyone, how easy it was to fall into them and become more vulnerable than you had ever wanted to be. _

_Reid let out a short, but telling sigh._

_"You're not still having those nightmares, are you?" JJ stood up and walked across the living room to sit down next to him on the couch. When he didn't answer, she placed a gentle hand on his knee. "Spence…look at me."_

_Reid refused to look at her. He kept his eyes down, trained on the edge of his coffee table. He noticed that one of the Not this time…he wouldn't let it happen this time. _

_"You can talk to me…I'm your best friend." JJ pleaded, reassuringly. He almost detected the slightest hint of hurt in her voice like she couldn't believe that he would actually be hiding something from her. _

_He could feel her hand rubbing his knee soothingly, but once she lifted her hand to touch his chin and lift it upwards towards her…that did it. His eyes met hers and he melted. _

_"Not…consistently, but sometimes…after a bad case I have a nightmare." Reid closed his eyes for a moment, but quickly re-opened them as he remembered some of the nightmares. "I think the worst thing about it is not feeling security when you're in your own home."_

_"Shh…." JJ soothed. She was now rubbing his arm relaxingly in an up and down motion. He looked over to see that her eyes were closed, but a few seconds later they re-opened. _

_Reid met her eyes, "You have them too…don't you?"_

_"Not…consistently." JJ answered slyly. "Every case that we have about kids…I go home the night when we get back and have a nightmare, but it's always the same. The psychopath has Henry…locked up in this room. I can see him, but right when I run towards him the lights go off. I can hear him crying, but no matter how far or hard I run…I can never find him."_

_"That sound…terrible." Reid looked at the ground, imagining the horror. When he looked back at her, he was met with an expectant gaze. She wanted him to say what his nightmares were about. He hesitated. _

_"You can tell me, Spence." JJ's voice was soft and calming. _

_Reid gulped, "Mine always seem to consist of mind games. I see someone I love deeply trapped or being held and all I have to do is answer three riddles…cheesy, I know." He muttered, "The first one is always really obvious and I get it every time. The second is more challenging, but still easy and I get through. The third door always gets me though. It is the same question every time: Why is there something rather than nothing? I mean, it's simple philosophy, but every single time it says my answer is wrong."_

_"What do you say?"_

_"The Anthropic Principle states that based on the fact that this planet is the only one that can physically sustain some type of intelligent life that the Earth had to be made for us to live on it." Reid sighed, "It's the right answer, but it always says it's wrong and then…the person dies. And I fail."_

_"Who's the person?"_

_"Sometimes it's someone I've never even met. Sometimes it's Emily, sometimes Derek, Penelope, even Hotch and Rossi have both been in there once or twice. You're in there frequently along with Henry, but I never get past the third door." Reid shook his head. _

_"Maybe there's something rather than nothing, just because there is." JJ stated simply as she reached over and picked up her glass of water. _

_"Just…because there is?" He was confused; there was no reasoning in that answer. _

_JJ nodded slowly, "Who was it that said…sometimes simplicity is the ultimate sophistication?" She was trying to make a point to him. _

_First, he had to answer her question. He knew the answer of course and it always killed him to let easy questions go unanswered, "Leonardo da Vinci." _

_JJ rolled her eyes, "I'm just trying to say…that maybe you're over-thinking it. Maybe to beat your nightmares you have to try to think in a new perspective. Well, dream in a new perspective…" She smiled. _

_"Dream in a new perspective…" Reid shook his head in disbelief that the woman in front of him could have very well just solved one of his biggest problems, "JJ…has anyone ever told you that you're brilliant?"_

_JJ laughed lightly, "I've been told that I'm…smart, intelligent, and clever…but brilliant? No. I don't think I've ever gotten that one…" She looked over at him in anticipation. _

_"Well you are, JJ. You're brilliant." Reid looked at her thankfully. _

_"Brilliant enough to become the BAU's new resident genius?" JJ looked over at him, jokingly with a big grin spread across her face. _

_"Don't push it."_

Reid almost wanted to smile when he thought of that…almost. Now wasn't the time for anyone to be smiling, now wasn't the time for anyone to talk or to move, now wasn't the time for anyone to do anything.

Now was the time for everyone to silently grieve for JJ and everything she was.

For everything she stood for.

_Compassion. Bravery. Integrity. Care. Communication. Persistence. Affection. Passion. Generosity. Focus. _

**_Life. _**

Reid cried even harder as he thought about her. He vowed silently to himself that he would never forget her and what happened to her. **Never. **She deserved, at least, to have that from him. He would remember her and Sean every day as two complete opposites; someone who he should live his life by and someone who he should live his life in spite of. And even though he hadn't realized it when she was alive, during all the time they had spent together: JJ _had _used to be his role model.

But the truth was…she always would be.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the slow updating, but I've been busy with finals and sports. I'll try and get back on top of all my stories. There's still a lot left in this one that I have to get to so be ready for more chapters to come. Thanks to all for reading! I love nice long reviews so keep them coming!


	24. Minutes and Memories

It was hot. The air was damp with the moisture of the nearby swamp. The only sound to be heard was the chirping of large, annoying bugs. They were known to be out during the night, especially during humid summers. The darkness was so pure, so terrifying. Being completely engulfed in its black depths, it was easy to feel alone.

The only thing keeping Will's sanity was the warm feeling of his son's hand in his own.

All he could see through the darkness was the outline of Henry's form sitting next to him. He couldn't tell what his boy was doing, but he was, for once, sitting completely still. He looked frozen there, his expression unreadable through the darkness.

Will put his arm around Henry and pulled him close. "Your momma's gonna be alright, bud. She always is." He said, his voice weaker than he would have liked. He tried hard to smile, but he gave up when he realized that Henry wouldn't be able to see it anyway.

The little boy didn't respond he just scooted closer to his dad and waited.

The waiting was the worst part.

The anticipation .

The suspense.

The fear.

It ate them apart.

Will thought of taking Henry away from here. They could go find the team's cars and see if they could call someone. They could even go see the swamp. They just needed to be somewhere other than here. But as Will thought more of it, he realized that wandering through the forest when it was this dark was not a good idea.

So they would sit and wait.

The chirping got louder as the time wore on. It felt like the team had been in there for a long time. Will couldn't decide if that was good news or just the opposite.

The only noise was the bugs chirping and the faint, constant noise of their breathing.

Until finally…a sound came from inside the house. It was faint, almost unheard because of the bugs chirping continuously. But as a cop, Will couldn't mistake that noise for anything. It was all too familiar, all too horrifying:

A gunshot.

Henry squealed when he heard it and he started to sob. It was a small, quiet sob that broke Will's heart. He pulled his son close to him, feeling like the world was fading around him. They'd just heard one of two things:

One of JJ's team members shooting Sean.

Sean shooting JJ.

Will tried hard to tell himself that it was just one of them shooting Sean. Things don't end badly. The FBI is the best, they can save anyone and everyone. He knew it was unrealistic, but it was all he could believe.

It was all he chose to believe.

"Daddy? What was that?" Henry asked his father through sniffs.

Will had a feeling that he already knew, but needed some kind of confirmation from his dad. "That was a gunshot, Henry, but your mom's okay. Momma's gonna be fine, okay?" He spoke slowly, trying to keep his voice from shaking. His son needed his stability right now or he might get scared and lose it. He would lose something that Will had already starting losing.

What is _it?_

It is sanity. And if they knew that she was dead, if they both knew that the most important woman in their lives was gone forever…then they would lose their sanity and if one of them didn't step up and try to move on, then they would never get it back.

"Okay, dad."

"We just have to wait." Will gulped and hugged his son close, "She'll be out any minute…any minute now." It was more than a statement, it was a prayer.

* * *

Emily crumbled to the ground, her face in her hands. "NO! NOT JJ!" She yelled, "This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening." She felt like she was going insane. Her brain processed the sounds and what they meant, but for some reason she couldn't accept it. She couldn't believe it.

Morgan was by her side in seconds, "Em. Em, it's okay. It's okay." He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her close, "It's okay…it's okay…it's okay…" He whispered as he lightly rubbed her back with his hand.

She sobbed and pushed herself away from him, "Stop! Get off!" She screamed. Her shrieks were the only sound in the cave, other than Reid's frantic half-wheeze half-sobs. "GET OFF OF ME!"

Morgan pulled away and stared at her, concerned. It was almost like he wondered why she was acting this way.

He should have known better.

Emily spoke the words softly, chillingly, "JJ is dead."

Morgan didn't say anything. His expression dropped to the ground and he closed his eyes.

"I-I…can't. I can't look at her dead body. I can't listen to Reid's crying. I can't think about what this means…I can't stay down here! Hotch, I can't!" Emily looked at him now for confirmation that she could leave. Her eyes were swimming and there were tear stains already forming on her cheeks.

"Go." Hotch ordered, "Take Reid with you."

Without even looking at Reid or helping him, Emily started walking back up the tunnel. She just had to get out. As she reached the ladder back up to the house, she heard Reid's footsteps approaching behind her.

"And Emily," Hotch called from where they were all standing, "don't tell Will what's happened...not yet."

Emily gave him a small nod and then climbed up the ladder with Reid close behind her. It was hard for her to climb up the ladder because for some reason her arms felt weak, probably from all the crying.

She usually wasn't one to cry, but this was different.

This was so much different.

JJ had been her best friend and well, she was just one of those "people". The kind that brighten your day no matter what the circumstances are, the kind that know you better than you know yourself, the kind that actually cared. For Emily, those kinds of people were hard to come by.

Just knowing that she was gone made Emily feel weak, it made her want to faint. Why? She wasn't sure, maybe it was just because she was so full of sadness that her body couldn't take it…

The ladder felt endless.

But in reality it only took them a couple of minutes to reach the surface and that was solely because they had been traveling so slow.

When Emily pushed the trap door open, light flooded down into the dark and sinister-looking tunnel. She pulled herself up and out of the hole before turning back to help Reid pull himself out too. It was the first time she saw him in the light.

He was a mess.

His hair was frayed in all directions and there were tears streaming down her face. On his cheeks were clear, defined tear stains…but that wasn't the worst thing. When she looked down at his hands she noticed that they were bleeding. He had clenched his fists so hard that his fingernails had dug into his palm.

"Oh Reid…" Emily whispered, lifting his hands to examine them. She reached over from the nearby bed and ripped two slivers of the sheets off. She wrapped them around his hands and then wiped some of the tears off of his face, "Okay pull yourself together." It felt harsh, but…Will couldn't know. So right now, they had to pretend.

"I…I can't, Emily." Reid said, his voice shaking. His eyes followed her hands as she wiped her own tears away from her face and started to fix her hair. "I-I…can't do this…" More tears spilled out of his eyes.

Emily met his eyes. "Hey…you can do this Reid." She fixed his hair gently, carefully, "Listen to me. You're going to be strong and I'm going to be strong right now…we're going to be strong because she was strong. That's what this is for…not for Will, not for Hotch, not for you or for me. This is for her, that's why we're doing this. And that's why we're going to be strong, okay?"

After a few moments Reid took in a shaky breath and then replied, "Okay." He closed his eyes and took a few quick minutes to compose himself, "Let's go."

Emily was proud. They were going through with this, they would be strong.

They would pretend right now, even though they didn't want to.

And they were doing it for her.

Maybe she would never know, that would probably be the case…but it still meant something. It meant something because she was gone and they had nothing left of her…and because if they did something for her, if they were strong for her…it meant that they _would_ have something left of her.

They would have her memory.

And by that, they would live their lives.

_For _that, they would live their lives.


End file.
